Snide Comment From Relative: Do you say something?

The Buddhist reaction would be to feel sorry for the person who was so rude.

An alternative reaction would be to dig up something on your sister and post it in the Internet.

Well, everyone knows how it came down, mainly because I was in the hospital for 3 days with assorted broken bones and a punctured lung, lacerated kidney, etc. There was no secret.

It was a big deal, but it’s over. It’s been over for over a decade. They seem to have an OK relationship, even though I know they’d never become best friends or anything (he’s very rough around the edges, which makes it difficult for people to get him). We really don’t spend much time together. Holidays and birthdays. It’s always cordial, lots of laughs, etc. I just don’t get it.

Well, if I were to be hurtful, in retaliation of this deal, I could hit her in the same manner, in front of people it would hurt, and her head would never stop spinning. However, I don’t want to be that guy. This was hurtful, but I’ll survive. The one I could toss would be unforgiveable in anyone’s eyes. Forevah. No question.

Damn, Kalhoun, she’s denied saying something that was deliberately hurtful to you? Some sister. I guess you really don’t have any place to go with that now. But if she ever did it again, I’d call her on it on the spot, regardless of the setting. I’d probably look at her like she had a worm crawling out of her nose and ask her in my best “Miss Manners” tone why in God’s name she thought it was appropriate to bring that up.

Good for you, Kal - I don’t know if I could be this big of a person. I’d be more inclined to go with what glee said. :slight_smile:

From her denial that she said anything at all, does it seem possible that she might have some mental - uh - issues - of some kind - that she doesn’t realize what she’s saying? I mean this sounds kinda out of character for her from what you said - is it possible she DOESN’T remember?

You know, it IS out of character. She’s a good person, even if I don’t have much of a rapport with her. I has me questioning my own sanity. I almost feel like I need to ask Mr. K if I had a stroke or something.

That is the most annoying response ever. Don’t doubt yourself - I am sure you didn’t make this all up in your mind. She just can’t deal with being called on her behavior. Hopefully at least this will prevent her from doing it again, but if she does, I would say something to her immediately. Asking her to repeat it is a good tactic, like someone else suggested.

Jesus Christ, your husband beats you bad enough to put you in the hospital for three days and you expect your family just to forget all about it? If someone did something like that to my (fictional) sister, I’d sure as hell never forget about and never stop bringing it up.

I really do sympathize, but what exactly do you think you’d be accomplishing? It’s horrible, but Kalhoun says her husband has changed his behavior and never done it again. Maybe if you were in a heated argument with the husband about something that somehow related to this I can see a point in bringing it up. But making snide remarks out of the blue at the dinner table? That’s not exactly protecting your sister. It’s petty. It’s hard to be petty about something that important, but I think this qualifies.

Well, it will never be forgotten by any of us, but would you continue to harp on it if it caused pain to your (fictional) sister (by the way, this is the first time it’s ever been mentioned)? We’ve moved past it. Obviously, this was not easy for my family to accept, but this is how it is. I think it would be different if there were no personal adjustment and simply going back to the same situation, but it’s not like that.