Not forceful so much as less unsure. You want to make sure you’re not coming off like “I have no idea why you would want to do this, but…” Present it like hey, you’re friendly, you’re getting along, going out is a next step that lots of women in her position might want to do, so you’re asking.
This made me laugh. I love me a good nerd.
I saw her again today for the first time since last week. There wasn’t any awkwardness or anything - at least as I could tell - and we were both equally cordial with each other.
I don’t know. I still find myself believing that she already has an SO, so maybe I’ll approach her again in a few months. I know we’re going to be sharing another class together next semester for sure, so I’ll definitely be seeing her with some regularity for the rest of the school year.
In the meantime, yeah, I really gotta start looking into finding ways of encountering single women in their early 20’s, because - judging from every experience I’ve ever had ever - they seem to be completely nonexistent.
Ugh.
Unfortunately you have years of humiliating rejection by women left before you get old enough to accept reality and give up actively seeking.
In my case, I wish I had known to get castrated at puberty and save myself the trouble of years of heartache. I was never happier than when I gave up looking and din’t try. No try no cry.
Eventually however, I did find the woman that married me, and I wasn’t trying, so don’t give up hope.
Doggo’s got it about right. From my experience, I think you need to quit trying so hard. It’s kinda like this, if you don’t care so much, you’re more relaxed, and appear more confident, and thus more attractive. . . pretty simple. Quit looking. Worry about yourself and self improvement and just try to get more socially active, online and otherwise. Try to find a social group, there are many groups that specialize in putting together group trips and activities, I joined one after my divorce and it really helped me develop confidence and improve my social skills. And really try to enjoy life and have fun and try not to whine so much. I think I’ve been where you are, and that’s the best advice I have.
Not being a woman, I can’t say for sure, but in my experience women reject any man that’s desperate for a relationship, preferring to throw themselves at men that don’t care about them.
And, they really love a bad boy, till they reproduce and then they want to change the bad boy into a doormat that wants to stay home with the kids.
Like I said, I’m not a woman, so it seems pretty barking behaviour to me, but I’ve seen it a lot.
Try online dating. I’m a straight woman and I just joined Tinder, and there seem to be tons of guys on there. I’ve not had much luck finding dates IRL, but I have a date set up for Saturday that I found through Tinder, and several of my female friends are on there and have found dates. I can’t say for sure how many available women are on there, especially in your area and age range, but it’s worth a shot if you’re having trouble meeting single women in class or at parties or other places.
There’s a middle ground between asking out a woman just based on sight, and asking a woman out after being in a class with her several weeks or months and analyzing and interpreting the signals she’s been sending and then asking her out. He doesn’t need to walk up to women and say “Hey, would you like to go out some time?” He could walk up to a woman after class or at a bar or somewhere and say “Hey, so what do you think of this class (or this song that’s playing/recent sports game/whatever other topic)?” and then they talk for a few minutes. If he’s still interested after talking for a few minutes, then he can ask her out for coffee. After talking a few minutes, he might not know any glaring ethical deal-breakers, but he might find out some basic things, like if they have interests in common, if she’s easy to talk to, if she’s at all attracted to him, and other things like that.
I am a woman, and I’d like to be in a relationship, although it isn’t my highest priority, and I’d be happy to just casually date for awhile. If I met a good, interesting, attractive guy who was wanting a relationship, I might date him and see how it goes. If I met I met a good, interesting, attractive guy who was desperate for a relationship, then I would run the other way. I want a guy who is interested in and attracted to me, and wants me to be his girlfriend. I do not want a guy who is desperate for a girlfriend and would just try to fit whatever available woman he can find into the girlfriend-shaped hole in his life.