I pit dating

God fucking fuck.

Dating, and especially the ritual surrounding it, is retarded.

[/getting it off my chest]

-FrL-

(glad I managed to find wedded bliss without having to go through the insanity)

I like lesbianism–you have a cup of chai, then you move in together. No dating hassles.

:stuck_out_tongue:

-FrL-

My English friends never understood the concept. If you like someone you get your friends, she gets her’s, and you meet at a pub. If things don’t work out, someone else might still get some action. This rose, pizza, movie dance is ridiculous.

This makes much more sense to me! I should have been English.

-FrL-

A story to illustrate just how hopeless I was back when I should have been dating:

At the age of sixteen or seventeen or so, I saw a girl from another school who was

A. Very pretty
B. Reading Steven Hawking’s A Brief History of Time

I was the only person I knew at the time who would have read a book like that. This was a no brainer. If ever there was a person I was going to need to “ask out,” this was the one.

But I had never “asked out” anyone, ever, and had kind of resolved never to do so. So I was in a quandary due to inexperience.

I spent all day trying to figure out what to do. (We were at some kind of inter-mural academic event, I forget which.) Finally, my classmates were about to get on the bus and leave. As I was getting on, I said, out loud, to no one who had any idea what I was talking about, “I can’t let this not happen.” I got out of line from the bus, and walked/ran back inside.

I found the girl. I said the following, and I quote:

“Hi. I like your book. I was wondering if I could have your number, or I could give you mine or something.”

The answer was a sweet smile and a “No, but thanks.”

My response?

“Aw comeon!”

The answer now was a nervous smile and a shaking of the head.

I walked away. In my hands I had been carrying, among other things, an electronic chess set with a compartment for the pieces. I discovered much later that the compartment had been open, and I had been trailing little plastic chess pieces behind me all the way from the bus to the girl and back.

End of story.

I thought neither side brought the U-Haul until the second date? :slight_smile:

Frylock, honey, you don’t have jurisdiction to pit dating if you’re not doing it.

twicks, who’s still beating her head against that particular wall

Why not? I have every reason to pit dating, and I’m most certainly not doing it. Since Bloody Valentines Day, I have asked exactly one women out, and I was kindly but decisively turned down. And since then I have met exactly one women that does anything for me. She seems to be the only woman I’ve met who is a) cute, fun, and friendly, and b) not entirely out of my league. I’ve tried arranging “chance” meetings with her by simply being where she might be (she lives in the same apartment building), but we met only once. The conversation was warm and full of possibilities, but any chance of escalating it to a romantic level seemed inappropriate at the time.

And I wasn’t exactly at my best. I had just finished working out, so I was covered with sweat. And I was wearing my only clean shirt (we met in the laundry room), which was totally wrinkled and missing a button. I’m sure I looked disgusting.

Who knows when we’ll meet again? I’ve worked out that we tend to run into each other about once every six months. And even if we meet again, and things turn out just right, I’m not sure that she’s not already seeing someone. She probably is.

And I’m having trouble seeing any shades of gray.

For one thing, there seems to be only two types of women in the world. The very young and hot, who probably see me as some kind of creepy old guy, and lumpy old wrinkled widows collecting social security. Except for the above mentioned woman, I can’t find a middle ground. I have no idea where I fit in to Dating World.

For another thing, I can’t even imagine an approach that would work. All I can see is being forward (which, from me, seems to come out as creepy and stalkerish) or playing it cool, which means not being forward, which results in not being noticed at all. I’ve never been good at finding a good compromise between skeevy and invisible.

A small few very kind Doper Chicks have told me that I’m very dateable, but out there in Flesh World, I’ve been unable to sell it. It often feels like I simply have nothing to sell.

Egads, these are depressing thoughts to have on the last day of my vacation. But damn, dating (or the lack thereof) sucks ass. Or doesn’t.

So do I just become a lesbian or is there a course I have to take or something like that?

You may – and did, brilliantly. The OP, however, is married, and thus is “not dating” in an entirely different category.

Shall I describe the email I just got from someone at POF complaining that I didn’t specify in my profile that I don’t want to date someone who lives more than a thousand miles away from me?

Pop out to an old flooring store and see if you can get some carpet samples.
Take there home and eat them.

Next pop to the fish mongers and ask for one of their old carboard boxes. Take this home and chew it for a while.

So very glad I met Mrs essell when I was 21. I would have been terrible at meeting people socially otherwise

I pit everyone that posts ten paragraphs about this really cool person they’d like to ask out but just can’t figure out the best approach. Is it really THAT painful to get rejected once in a while? If you wanna go out with someone - ask 'em out! You’re bound to get a yes every now and then.

Nonsense, my dearest! I can pit, for example, cocaine, even though I’m not doing it.

-FrL-

THANK YOU! Just ask them! Girls and guys alike.

Yes. Just ask them out. No cutesy “chance” meetings, no wacky notes, no unsolicited flowers. Just say, “Hey, you’re neat, want to go out?”

No.

No.

No.

No, thanks.

No.

No.

No fucking way, loser.

No.

No.

No.

I don’t think so.

No.

That’s really flattering, and thanks! But no.

No.

No.

No way!.

No.

No.

Creep.

No.

No.

But keep at it! Someone might eventually say… No. Oh, and make sure you project self-confidence!

But no.

Um, question?

How can I ask someone out (No!) without the chance meeting? Should I ask a bunch of empty space?

No.

IME, girls can tell when a guy is interested in them. It’s a lot less creepy to come out and say, “I like you, are you interested in going out?” than to project that interest for weeks or months and never act on it.

:dubious:

Can’t begin to imagine why.

I mean the fakey little “accidentally on purpose” set-ups, the lingering by her desk or car looking all creepy, the writing your goddamn phone number on the receipt she gives you to sign because she’s your cashier, that kind of thing.

But hey, if you want to be a smartass, be my guest.