So I covered the lens and winked at the Hawkguards.
But the Hawkguards thought I was flirting with them, and started getting amorous.
So we had wild, kinky avian sex for hours.
But I got feathers in places I didn’t know I had places.
So I went on line and ordered a state-of-the-art anti-feather machine.
But delivery to the spaceship would take several weeks, and I was itchy now!
So since it was going to take so long, I hooked up with the Hawkguards again for round two and they scratched that itch real good.
But by then I was nearly deaf from their ecstatic squawking.
So, having seduced my guards, I took command of the ship.
But that is when I noticed the ship was heading straight for a space-iceberg.
So I whipped out my blowtorch.
But fire doesn’t burn in space, 'cause there’s no air.
So I said (quoting Homer Simpson): There’s an air and space museum.
But the museum was closed to prepare for a new exhibit of “Pigs In Spaaaace”.
So, I went to the local theater, to see a matinee of “You’re Next.”
But the popcorn was toxic.
So I went with red Twislers.
But one of the Hawkguards pedantically reminded me, “They’re spelled ‘Twizzlers.’”
So I realized the Hawkguard had to be a human in disguise!
But I had to forget about that and run into the theater, because I didn’t want to miss the 20 minutes of previews and trailers.