So of course we set up a machine gun and just mowed them down, wave after wave.
But I thought that was wrong, and asked to see a Preist
“So this is Christmas and what have you done?” the Priest (who turned out to be a John Lennon fan) asked me.
But I haven’t done anything ,I told him
So he revealed himself to be an undercover cop and arrested me.
But I still yearned for freedom, so I knocked him out and ran away.
But they arrested the reindeer and put them in the pound.
So I called up my brother and asked him for a loan for bail money.
But he had once more, incredibly, failed to win the lottery, and was flat broke.
So, since it looked like I was going to be in jail for a few days, I decided to make friends with some of the other fellas.
But everybody told me that Round Bob said I had an evil eye, and wouldn’t sit by me.
So, being the friendly sort by nature (remind me to tell you someday about that time back in Minsk - or was it Smolensk? maybe even Moscow, come to think of it - when I was backpacking across Russia and the former Soviet republics, back in 1997 or so, maybe a little later than that, because my sister hadn’t had her sixth child by then, yeah, now that I think of it, it must’ve been 1999, anyway, and I met this guy who was so hostile and uncommunicative - I mean, he just wouldn’t say a word, not a one, zip, zero, nada, zilch, no matter how friendly I was, or told him funny stories or offered to make us both hot cocoa and even let him have five mini-marshmallows instead of the usual four, and he still wouldn’t give me the time of day, so I killed him, but that’s another story), I decided I would make a concerted effort to win him over.
But I didn’t like his smell
So, with a friendly smile, I offered him my deodorant stick.
But, it gave him a terrible rash.
So, with a friendly smile, I offered him my rash cream.
But he was, understandably I suppose, reluctant to put anything else I offered him on his body.
So I offered to apply it for him…
…but I was arrested for solicitation.
So now I’m back in jail.