So-called beautiful celebrities you find UGLY

In My Humble Opinion
61

Josh Hartnett and Chris Klein: what’s that I hear? The sound of a million 13 year old girls shrieking in horror? I find both of them horrifyingly plain. I’ve dated boys better looking than them, and believe me, that ain’t saying much.

Josh emotes to the same degree as the Cheezit I am about to put in my mouth. Chris acts as though he has had a full-frontal lobotomy. It also appears as if his head never resumed its normal size after he was removed from the womb with forceps.

I’ve found homeless people begging for money to buy heroin to be more appealing than James Van Der Beek.

The men of 'NSYNC. One needs serious dental work and a hair cut, another seems to be the spawn of albino parents, a third look like every Italian average guy I went to high school with, and the last one looks like a little itty bitty midget. With poorly styled hair and a thoroughly unattractive face.

The woman of 'NSYNC, Miss Justin Timberlake, needs to sue the doctor who botched her sex change operation.

Freddie Prinze Jr. and Heath Ledger, those gods of the teen movie genre. Freddie is just not attractive - his features are downright goofy, and Heath should seriously consider taking a bath at some point in his life.

Gwyneth Paltrow is terrifying. I understand that she’s tall, skinny, and gets free designer clothes, but I don’t understand how this equates beauty.

Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are certainly attractive in that over-groomed, under-dressed, highly-processed manner best represented by Pamela Anderson, which some people find attractive. I do not. And I question my existence in a world wherein wearing jeans or skirts low enough to show off your thong strap constitutes style worth emulating.

On the other hand, I think Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman are ungodly sexy in every concievable way and would gladly worship at the alter of either one.

62

Mr. BS your comment about Lucy Liu had me hanging on my chair to keep from ROTF. HOMCTKFROTF

While at the risk of seeming cruel (oh what the hell) I’ve never “gotten” Julia either. Never. Pretty much the same for Angelina Jolie and Uma. Neither do I find Christina Aquilerra (sic)
appealing.

I have always liked Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. Maybe because I’m older…

63

Julia Roberts. Her mouth looks like an exit-wound.

64

Tear your attention away from her face and look about eighteen inches further down.

Although my girlfriend would probably be highly critical of that aspect of Denise’s anatomy as well. She puts a premium on perkiness, and is quite disdainful of what she calls “papaya-shaped” breasts.

65

I thought I was the only one who found Parker unattractive.
Also:
Julia Roberts
Pamela Lee
Brad Pitt
Jimmy Fallon
Bo Derek

66

OMG! I am kuh-RACKING up ovah heah! Minnie Driver = Snoopy?

And that crack about Drew Barrymore’s jaw… priceless.

::wiping tears of laughter::

What a way to start a Monday!

and BTW, I can’t believe I forgot Jennifer Love Hewitt!!!

67

There’s a lot of celebrities listed here I admit I don’t find as beautiful as their reputations. But Sandra Bullock isn’t UGLY. She’s plain, maybe. Cameron Diaz isn’t UGLY. On the other hand:

Barbra Striesand. - How does a woman that ugly get to kiss Robert Redford? Well, I guess that’s payback for Woody Allen getting to kiss pretty actresses.

Sarah Jessica Parker is probably the ugliest actress working today. Holy Moses, she’s ugly. She looks like the survivor of a car accident that sent her through the windshield face first, and her body is all angles and edges. Her legs look like pantyhose stuffed with walnuts.

Gwyneth Paltrow - The Oscar dresses are bad enough, but here’s an ugly woman with a terrible body. The fact that she’s phonier than a six-dollar bill doesn’t help, in my eyes; at least Parker seems like an honest person.

Josh Hartnett - I’m sorry, but the guy looks stupid. He’s not ugly per se, he just looks like a Neanderthal with the sloping forehead and the heavy brow. I keep expecting him to scream “JOSH SMASH!”

Tea Leoni - Worst legs in show business.

Celine Dion - So, so frightening. She looks like a velociraptor. I would not leave my loved ones alone in her presence.

Viggo Mortenson - Some say he’s a hottie. I say he looks just like the greasy, fithly homeless guy who’s always begging for chance in traffic on lower Spadina Ave.

68

Celine Dion. There is a drag queen called Michel Dorion who performs at Café Entrepeau doing a Celine Dion impression. The frightening thing was, she was more attractive than Celine Dion herself. This is not usually the case.

(Does Céline still have an accent-aigu in her name? Or did she have that surgically removed with her butt fat and personality?)

Leonardo DiCaprio. He has a fairly OK body (although I slept with two guys on Saturday night with better ones than his), but his head looks like it’s a normal head that’s been compressed to the topography of a lemon drop.

Hamish suggests Any man who’s ever made one of those Sexiest Men Alive lists. Mel Gibson, Patrick Swayze, George Clooney. Ideally, “sexiest man alive” should not suggest someone who’s less attractive than some of the men I’ve gone out with by mistake.

69

I forgot to mention the time when andygirl, LaurAnge and I went out for dinner and ended up at Nickel’s, a café theoretically owned by Celine. There’s a cake called “The Celine Dion,” which is a seven-layer chocolate cake.

As LaurAnge exclaimed, “If she ate that, she’d die!”

70

I think I stand alone, but Madonna looks like she came in third place in a shovel fight.

71

Tom Cruise grosses me out. What really put the nail in the coffin: He was recenlty on the cover of Vanity Fair (I think it was VF, not 100% sure) shirtless, standing with his hands on his hips. His chest was freshly waxed, and looked like android skin, but his armpit hairs were peaking out from under his arm. Yu-uck!

Kevin Costner looks like a ferret (my apologies to ferrets everywhere.)

72

Barbra Striesand! That’s a celeb who (I guess) is considered beautiful that I think is a dog. As well as being annoying, pretentious and incredibly overrated…

73

Without having read the OP, I’d like to add my own.

Julia Roberts
Demi Moore
Mariah Carey
Tori Spelling
Courteney Cox (although she looked OK back when she used to date Alex Keaton ;))

I’m sure they were mentioned already.

74

I can’t believe no one’s mentioned Cindy Crawford. Blech!

75

It gives me great pleasure to note that no one has mentioned Christina Ricci. It gives me pleasure not because I think she’s beautiful, but because perhaps it is true that no one finds her beautiful. It worries me that there might be someone out there who considers her attractive. For goodness’ sake, she could host the premiere of her next movie on her own gigantic forehead (and I speak as someone who appreciates a high forehead – just not that high).

76

I don’t feel it’s my place to say who is ugly or not, especially because I’d die if my name ever got on an UGLY list (and it did when I was a kid so I guess I am very sensitive about it) but I will say that:

Penelope Cruz’s voice sounds like Mrs. Donald Duck.

Angelina Jolie’s stylist should be SHOT with hollowpoints for putting her in that hideous bleached-blonde fright wig that she wears in her latest forgettable movie. I thought it was supposed to be a joke - that her character was some crazed Jayne Mansfield wannabe - but no, it appears that’s supposed to be the look of, I think, a newscaster? Please, someone tell me the trailers are completely misleading and she’s really a Fifties “bombshell.” She would have looked SO much better with brunette hair.

I think Nicole Kidman is absolutely striking. How anyone can think she is ugly is beyond me.

77

MY GOD!

How has no one yet mentioned Denise Richards? There’s something deeply disturbing about the way her eyes fit her face. I don’t think she’s from this planet.

78

MY GOD!

Finally someone mentioned Denise Richards There’s something deeply disturbing about the way her eyes fail to fit her face. I don’t think she’s from this planet.

Oh, and all y’all are crazy one one point; Drew Barrymore IS beautiful.

79

Blasphemer! Vile blasphemer!

80

Add me to the Mel Gibson list. And I also do NOT get the appeal of Harrison Ford. As for women, I find Helen Hunt and Gwyneth Paltrow to be 2 of the most over rated.