Okay, I’ve been talking to my gang of wimmins and we’ve come up with all of these great plots and schemes. Most of them involve traveling to exotic foreign locations and require new wardrobes and lots of fancy-schmancy equipment.
Problem: We are all broke.
Possible Solution #1: We work 3 jobs each, save diligently, then go on our plots and schemes. We have rejected this, because after working 3 jobs who has the energy for wacky hijinks? Plus, we are lazy except when it comes to evil plotting and scheming.
That leaves us with Possible Solution #2: Sugar Daddies. In the words of my evil twin from Tennessee:
We need to know where to find guys with money to
finance our exploits! We need non-demanding-yet-doting guys to bankroll our evil shemes and endeavors
Anyone know a few guys like this? Or where to find them? Would a bank be a good place to hang out? How much care and feeding does a Sugar Daddy require? If we find one rich enough, would it be okay for us to share? Is it okay to have more than one Sugar Daddy, and if so, is it okay to make them jealous of each other in hopes of getting more loot? What about a Sugar Momma? Do they exist?
Thank you for your help.
Oh yes, and I am 100% serious about this. Yup. 100% serious. 
I dunno know. if you find out, let me know.
Well, seeing as how I already work two jobs and go to school, I can vouch that plan number one will not work.
Come on, surely someone can tell us how to find one (or more) of these gullib–I mean, wonderful men!
The man (or men) should have a very healthy bank account and not ask too many questions.
We have places to go, people to see, things to do! All we need are funds!
I like the idea of getting more than one and making them jealous in order to extort more money!
That was a stroke of brilliance on my part, wasn’t it?
Do you think it would be too greedy for us to ask that they also be good looking, so we won’t be embarassed when they take us out to the finest restaurants?
Sigh, who knew that our evil plotting and scheming would bring us to this?
I know, I know. It’s a sad state of affairs when sexy, intelligent, evil women can’t get financial backing for devious plans without groveling and advertising!
What is the world coming to?
I think the fact that they need to be good looking is understood. Who wants a disgustingly hideous Sugar Daddy? Ugh!
I usually find them stuck to the bottom of my couch.
I thought that Sugar Daddies had to be disgustingly hideous? I was out of school the day they explained the ins and outs of gold-digging so I am clueless in these matters.
And please help people, this is important! You know how the board has been a little dull lately? Just think how exciting it will be when tater n’ beth have the funds to put our schemes into motion! You think we’re doing this for ourselves? Think again, we’re doing this for the entire SDMB community. Imagine the great threads we’ll be able to start! We’ll finally be able to set up taternavelcam.com!
No, no, Sugar Daddies don’t have to be disgustingly hideous–but it helps! Actually, I think the only requirements are that they be wealthy and generous and like to be called “Daddy” when we cuddle up to them to ask for money!
I live near a breeding ground for Sugar Daddies and most of them look pretty damned ugly…
Do I have to boot the current Mr Primaflora before I go gold digging? He’s pretty damned sick of being poor too.
No, no, being single is not a prerequisite for obtaining a Sugar Daddy! However, any funds obtained must be used to do something solely for yourself–they mustn’t benefit your SO! Let him get his own!
Yeah, no profit-sharing. After all, you don’t wanna be reported to the Better Business Bureau.
OK. He can go and do his own gold digging and be a gigolo.
Do we have to do rude things with the sugar daddies? I’m too damned tired… Can I just be a handbag? Or is that just gigolos?
This is something I’ve put much thought into. At first I thought if we find Geriatric Sugar Daddies we could get away with just a little sitting on laps and cooing. But noooooo, Viagra had to ruin all that.
So…I’m thinking our only option is to find Closeted Gay Sugar Daddies that are willing to pay us handsomely for our services as beards.
Okay, now can somebody please tell us where to find Attractive Closeted Gay Sugar Daddies?!?!
I don’t think I could call Michael Flatley “Daddy”.
::shiver::
Did I mention that I just got a pretty good sized tax refund back?
Yes, but did you spend any of it on us? No! You bought a DVD! It is that type of selfish thinking that will put you out of the running for Sugar Daddy! Better be careful!
Hmpf. Just remember, a huge bank account ain’t the only thing that might make you happy.
Ack, out of my thread! We’ll have no sentimental talk of the things money can’t buy in here. Try going to the Northwest counter and offering them your friendship in return for two round trip tickets to Australia! Bah, oh sure, you might get coach tickets that way, but Bethie and I deserve only the best.
And now, why do I have this sudden urge to call all of the Irish people I know and ask them to say “Who’s your Daddy?” just so I can giggle?