Oh, I know! I know!
Very, very true. However, the money we’re trying to get isn’t what’s going to make us happy–it’s what we can accomplish once we have it!
I dunno – maybe the old pink-fishnets-with-the-dancing-vibrators-tied-in trick might attract a little attention in up market hotel bars.
Good to see ya, bonkers.
Now, now, ladies, let’s think outside the box here… If I remember my old movies correctly, tho I’m certain Eve will know this right off, Sugar Daddies are always married to veddy, veddy proper dowagers and they must be discreet so as not to upset their wives and lose access to said wives’ inheritances. Therefore, you need to start by befriending the veddy, veddy proper dowagers (henceforth VVPD) These VVPDs, of course, are easily found in the Society pages of any major metropolitan newspaper.
So, endear yourselves to an assortment of VVPDs in metropolitan areas all over the world, and soon you’ll be jetting from Sugar Daddy to Sugar Daddy!
You’re welcome! No really - no need to shower me with extravagant thank-you gifts. It’s my pleasure. 
- Astroboy puts on some Barry White, and swaggers over to the sofa near the fireplace, wearing a smoking jacket and carrying a glass of fine brandy…*
Ladies, might I point out that I, Astroboy, currently have over 1,000,000 in my savings account?
Astroboy takes a sip of brandy…
Well? You may approach me…
What’s that? It’s 1,000,000 Korean WON! [sup]Oh, yeah… I guess that’s true…[/sup] At the current exchange rate, 1,000,000 won is something less than $1000… DAMN!! :mad: Screw this “Sugar Daddy” crap!! Where can I find a Sugar Momma??
Ladies, FYI: Astroboy operates on a simple diet of beer and chili. He is extremely low-maintenance, and occasionally amusing or useful. He often waits to pass gas until females are out of ear/nose range…
Seriously, though, tatertot welcome back!!! We missed ya!!
I may be willing to submit my resume and bank statement, but I must have absolute assurances of receiving hot, monkey sex over at least a 2-3 month period…
So you g’els want a Sugar Daddy? You really want a Sugar Daddy. Well it’s gonna take some WORK. One of three ways outta do it.
1] Become a candy striper, and volunteer for the “Prostate Ward”. This might also cut down on later “work”.
2]Volunteer (again) at a “Retirement Village”. Not one of those MediCare pays everything “Rest Homes” or “Old People Warehouses”. Lots of dirty old men with nothin’ better to do than shower you with gifts and money. You have to help them find their teeth, but no plan is perfect.
3] Hi Opal!..No …that’s not it…
3]Caddie (again more work) at your nearest country club. But only caddie for the old farts.
And show some leg. Clevage is a good route to go too, but it can be over done and obvious.
FCM, now that’s the kind of thinking I was looking for! Wanna join my gang of wimmins? Right now the plan is to move into a big apartment in some exotic city (Prague perhaps?) and have hilarious sitcom-style hijinks. Interested?
Astroboy, shush, you don’t need no sugar momma, you’ve got a Korean fiancee. What more could a man need? Ingrate!
Chief, no offence, but aren’t you in the navy? I’m not sure if even a senior NCO’s salary can support me & the gang of wimmins in the style to which we are wanting to be accustomed. 
Hmmm, my inlaws are coming to visit this weekend, and my folks are coming next weekend… decisions, decisions…
um, if you need me in the next few minutes, I’ll be digging up my passport and packing my bags… How’s the weather in Prague??
<Spiny checks his bank statement, decides he’s not in the target group for Sugar Daddyism, then tries to decide whether or not this is a good thing and exits mumbling the pros & cons to himself…>
Tater, my darling, I will be your Sugar Daddy!!!
I plan on coming into some money very soon!:D:D:D Maybe enough for Evilbeth as well!
Checks his bank account…remembers Tater’s personal tastes (very extravagent)…realizes he doesn’t have a hope in hell, thinks about Tater’s tastes again…realizes Bill Gates is the only one who could support her… sends an anonymous email to billg@microsoft.com.
Keith
Here are some warm leads for ya, Tater and Beth:
Bill Gates (have the Justice Dept. sue his wife over her monopoly status. She’ll be forced to share and you look like heros! OTOH, he’s a major geek.)
Ted Turner (you gotta be really desperate to take Jane’s leftovers)
Prince Charles (just make sure you do all the driving)
Sultan of Brunai (weekly harem duty is required)
Warren Buffet (of course, he likes to hold his investmments a looooong time)
Me (you may have to bide your time for ~30 years before I’m really rich)
They all have drawbacks, but nobody ever said being a gold digging hussy was easy. At least I’ve never heard anybody say that.
Good luck, and choose well.
Prague? Isn’t that over in Alabama, south of Montgomery?
The perfect way to find a sugar daddy: get boob job and fake blond hair, move to Houston, get a job as a stripper, and seduce the oldest rich-looking geezer in the place.
Well, it worked for Anna-Nicole Smith, didn’t it?
Way back in the OP you hit on what we really need to be talking about here.
And if so, where can I get one? Come on, I know there have to be some rich sexy ladies out there looking to finance the male board members’ hijinks.
Also, Rue DeDay said,
When?
(Just wondering)
Gotti
If they were good looking, they would’nt have to buy your lovin, babe. I’m afraid you’re going to have to settle for old and saggy. You want a young strapping buck, you might have to dig into your own pockets.
Which brings me to my next point. I could use a little extra cash…where should we start the bidding? Say $50.00? 
I could put you in touch with a retired 7’7" professional WCW wrestler who is desperately searching for a sweet little gal to spend his money on.
There is one little hitch though. Can you say obsessive psychotic schizophrenic fruit loop?
Psssst - I have a naked photo of him if you wanna see the “goods” before you commit. You know, if you were to make it to Amsterdam. . . .
Don’t ask how I got it. 
Well, Mrs Chance and I have discussed it, we have the dough, and we’re ready to sign you up. You can even live in our guest house while in the states.
I will officially become the Sugar Daddy of Tater and Co, Inc, (evil deeds a must, discounts for large parties!) when you satisfactorily answer these questions from Mrs Chance:
-
How are you at house-cleaning?
-
As above, but substitute ‘diaper changing’ for house-cleaning.
-
Hi Opal, you’re not with them are you?
-
Mrs Chance says I get one so…how are you at lawn mowing? I have a tractor and you can borrow it for your wackiness as long as it’s back on Sunday’s during the summer.
-
On the subject of ‘rudeness’. Mrs Chance says you two aren’t really her type but she thanks you for the offer.
Well, Mrs Chance and I have discussed it, we have the dough, and we’re ready to sign you up. You can even live in our guest house while in the states.
I will officially become the Sugar Daddy of Tater and Co, Inc, (evil deeds a must, discounts for large parties!) when you satisfactorily answer these questions from Mrs Chance:
-
How are you at house-cleaning?
-
As above, but substitute ‘diaper changing’ for house-cleaning.
-
Hi Opal, you’re not with them are you?
-
Mrs Chance says I get one so…how are you at lawn mowing? I have a tractor and you can borrow it for your wackiness as long as it’s back on Sunday’s during the summer.
-
On the subject of ‘rudeness’. Mrs Chance says you two aren’t really her type but she thanks you for the offer.
Oops. Sorry. Timed out on me.