So, How Does One Find A Sugar Daddy?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

Gosh tater why dinnt ya ask me?

I know professionals. One, in particular, she had a guy she introduced as “my step father Harold”. Next time she referred to him as “old family friend Harold”, next time it was “closer than a brother Harold”, then it was “boyfriend/employer Harold”.

We simply referred to him as “He-ain’t heavy, he’s my brother-father-friend Harold”.

Now, since Harold had an affinity for cocaine abusing blondes, I don’t suspect he’s personally who you’re after, BUT I can offer to consult with the ones who roped him in on your behalf.

42

Well okay, so Mr Duhnym IS only four years older and I DID marry him, but still!

Here are a few suggestions:

[ul]
[li]Become active in the volunteer world, especially high-profile organizations that attract celebrities and the very-rich. Think the ballet and the symphony…not true charities, unless you go for a high-profile national charity. The local ASPCA isn’t going to cut it.[/li]
[li]Save the money and gamble it all on a first-class, non-stop airline ticket from NYC to LA. Flirt like mad. (I don’t recommend this, too expensive and too low of odds.)[/li]
[li]Become a stripper or showgirl. Wait for a disillusioned man going thru a divorce to talk to you. Listen to him, laugh at his jokes, fall in love with him, do his laundry, cook his meals, move 3 times in four years for his job, marry him and have his kid. (This is more work, but definitely more fulfilling.)[/li]
[li]Become a high-class call-girl. Eventually (if you don’t get murdered by a psycho) you’ll run into a guy who will want you for his very own![/li]
[li]Become a well known artist, author, model or celebrity. Wait for them to come to you.[/li]
[/ul]

Good luck!

43

Wow, tatertot! Have you by any chance been on a voyage of self-discovery lately, you know, exploring your inner child, getting in touch with your primal feelings, investigating your soul’s interconnectedness with all things? I only ask because your preconscious mind has seemingly revealed the answer within the very wording of your question! “How Does One Find A Sugar Daddy?” Around here, SD stands for Straight Dope, and the benevolent godfather of the Straight Dope is Uncle Cecil. Uncle Cecil is your Sugar Daddy! Surely the world’s smartest human can provide for you guys if you figure out the right way to ask him.

And on the plus side, since Uncle Cecil has smarts and taste, you won’t have to do the big hair and spandex thing the other candidates are likely to demand. Of course, he will be crotchety, but that’s to be expected from any self-respecting Sugar Daddy.

44

Kee-ripes! This topic generated a whole lot of responses in a short time.

So, you want a sugar daddy?

There are certain prerequisites, you know.

First, you have to be cute.
Second you have to be at least 20 years younger than the guy.
Third, you have to be willing to bed him.
Fourth, you have to have a good personality.
Fifth, you’ve got to be reasonably honest. No stealing.

To get his attention, you have to flirt cutely with him. Pigtails and a young, open cute face helps here. You have to flatter him and find out how he’d like you to dress. Your biggest asset is your young looks, that is, too old to be a kid and too young to have lost that 20 something innocent charm and energy.

Then, you’ve got to listen to him tell his stories or complaints, act like he’s the coolest thing since canned cheese, and feel free to touch him physically. Warm touches mean a lot. Plus, if and when he comments he’s old, you need to assure him that he’s not.

You’ve got to make a lot of time to see him. You must never be too busy, at first anyhow. Flattery will get you everywhere. So will being clean. Older well off men place a high emphasis on clean. You have to be protective of him. If you catch him being ripped off, you need to step in, if a waitress snubs him at a restaurant, you need to snub her.

Around his friends, especially guy pals, you have to act mature yet not too mature because his guy pals will be secretly drooling at the thoughts of being between your young thighs. They’ve already experienced far too often the mature and often somber attitude of older women and eyeing you up will make them feel like they’re at least 30 again.

Accept all gifts with charm and much pleasure and hugs and kisses.

When in bed, figure out how he likes ‘it,’ and make him feel like a king. No sarcastic comments or visible disappointment if he doesn’t perform well. Be prepared to sleep platonically with him if he chooses not to have sex, … he’s no longer 25 you know but the feel and scent of a young woman next to him is still great!

Be prepared to spend a lot of time at his place just watching TV and reading or cleaning up. Older men are often just content with company. If he smokes, don’t gripe about it.

If he gets sick, make a fuss over him. Older men often feel that because they’re no longer young and handsome that no girl cares, especially if they catch a cold and don’t feel good.

Buy him little, sweet gifts and the occasional cards. He’ll like those. Leave bits of clothing and personal things there, especially sexy underwear. He’s not going to wear them like a hat or sniff them, but he will fondle them and think of just how darn sexy you look in them.

Follow these rules and you should last for quite some time and make some cash.

Not that I’d know, never having been a sugar daddy, but I do know two women who have.

45

[slight hijack] I vote “Attractive Closeted Gay Sugar Daddies” for the best band name of the year award. [/slight hijack]

46

Please Fill This Out:
Gold Digger’s Application For Level 5 Sugar Daddy ($ 5,000,000. personal assets - over 50 years of age and under 70)

Applicants Personal Information:

Height:
(In bare feet)

Weight:
(non-PMS)

Age:
Panties and Bra Size and favored color:
(For surprise Victoria’s Secret shopping by SDs for GDs)
How much can you bench press?- (so frailer SD’s can be on notice)
What is your favored recreational activity of those listed: Check a maximum of two
Picking up performance artists -
Jello Shots-
Helping Habitat for Humanity-
Working for the local Wimmins Collective-
Tantric Yoga “Exercises”-
Listening to old men natter about what studs they were in the 1960’s-

If your SD wanted to “make whoopie” with you that would be: Please check one.
A good thing
A bad thing
A very bad thing

47

tatertot & evilbeth, I think you are definitely on to something here. I want a sugar daddy too. May I join your crusade?

It’s so frustrating, though, trying to be a gold-digger. :wink: There’s no formal training course, and schools don’t incorporate it into the curriculum, so you just kind of have to feel your way, or resort to asking the good folks in the SDMB.

I’m tired of working like a dog while males make more on the dollar than I do for doing the same job. I want to quit working altogether, marry some rich old guy, and let him support me. But if I can’t marry him, then I’ll be his mistress. I’m flexible.

48

Mistresses, according to friends of mine, are expensive but you get what you pay for and several consider them better than wives.

They get all the sex they want.
The women always look good, even when in casual attire.
They don’t hang around in dirty, baggy, unsexy clothing, grumbling, swilling beer and bitching.
They’re almost always pleasant and pleased to see the guy.
They don’t take him for granted.
There are no rug rats cluttering up the place.
They normally don’t mind experimenting in sex, so no ‘eew! Yew aint gonna put that in there!’ response to a suggestion.
They don’t get all sullen, quiet and pissed off if the guy doesn’t perform all that well now and then.
They keep things exciting.
There are no ex-husbands or boyfriends to have to contend with. …Those alone can be a real pain in the butt sometimes requiring a violent physical discussion that often doesn’t sink in the first time.

49

That oughta help you in your search :wink:

50

You, too can have a long term (more than 2 week) sugar daddy. It takes some planning, and perhaps some investment.

You’re going to have to hang out where rich guys hang out.

You must be physically attractive. Not dropdead gorgeous, but you’ve got to have some physical appeal. That also means well dressed, as in classy stuff - that’s where the majority of the investment comes in.

Another part of the investment is in being able to afford to hang out in the right places until you find Mr. Right.

Don’t confuse being sexy with being slutty. You’ve got to have that sexy sparkle in your eye and in your manner. You also mustlook as though you’ll fit in at the embassy dinner.
Keep in mind that it is much more convenient if he is a) married; and b)living in a distant city.

Per another current thread, diamonds may not be a girl’s best friend, but they do hold their value. Time and gravity will eventually end your career as a “honey” but gems can eventually get you that retirement condo in Tucson.

51

The following statement:

was made, appropriately enough, by spooje.

Methinks even the most desperate gold-digger would think twice if a prospective sugar daddy exhibited such questionable choices in lifestyle.

52

Actually, based on the following, I think I already have one!

Check!

Um…not quite but close enough! Check!

Oh yeah! This one’s a given! Check!

** Of course! Check!

** Definitely. Check!
Does this mean I can stop looking now?

53

But all of this gold digging seems like too much work! And it seems like it’s going to be necessary to get physical…ewwwww.

When I was thinking “sugar daddy” I was thinking of somebody more along the lines of my own daddy, but without my mom around to tell him not to give that ungrateful child money.

So, I am either going to put myself up for adoption. It will hurt my real parent’s feelings a bit, but I’m sure they will come around.

Or, Beth and I will incorporate into taterbeth inc. and get investors. I’m still a bit fuzzy on the details, but I’m sure there are hundreds of rich people out there who would be interested in investing in fun.

Yup, investing in fun! That’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

And I’m so jealous of Beth!

54

Hmmm, does this mean the “applicant ISO Sugar Daddy” position is open? Pencil me in there!

55

Yes, that sounds so much better than eviltot.

56

As if you 2 really had to ask!!

hold on… I’m younger than you 2…

and I have no money…

And I’m still Cyber Bitch to the pair of you…
damn :wink:

57

Idea! Cubby is young, good looking and eager…Beth and I can rent him out to women looking for TwistyBitches of their own.

Win-Win Situation!

Oh, and don’t you object, Cubster, because one of the first things we’re going to do with our new found wealth is fly Beth out to Dublin so we can have my birthday there. Viking hats for everybody!

Hoo Ahh!

Now let me get the calculator out and see how much we’re going to charge for your services…

58

We have a Sugar Mama. And we wrote a song about her! :smiley:

Listen Here
Lyrics Here

59

This would seem to cast a new light on this thread.

----:eek:/
----///\\

tater, I would like to join your group of wimmins. I could use a sugar daddy or two or three. Maybe we could trade them off amongst ourselves so they don’t become too annoying to any of us.

60

My California Dairy Farmer fantasy has carried me thru Microbiology, Physiology and the first three semesters of RN school. It occured to me on a tour of the giant Ag Expo in Tulare, CA, during the fashion show for farm wives. Featuring chinchilla coats.
I have worked out most of the details mid-lecture and mid-clinical…how to bag my sugar daddy. And it wouldn’t be a bad deal for him, either. As he gets older, I can nurse him. Yup. But although I like Tater’s thought of more than one sugar daddy, playing them against each other can’t be a good idea. Let each believe it’s a slightly younger, poorer man who is capturing little bits of your time and attention. This will have him flexing his financial muscles much more effectively than his being competitive with his peers. I told you I have most of the details worked out…Thank you,Tater,for broadening my thinking. This adds another spin to my plot to manipulate a dairy farmer or two into rescuing me from academia.