So... how were YOU dumped?

In My Humble Opinion
41

I guess I’m pretty lucky. The only way I’ve been dumped that sticks out in my mind was when my then-boyfriend of three weeks broke up with me in a note (he didnt even give it to me himself). I wasn’t upset though (I mean, 3 week relationship, come on, plus we were 16!) But now we’re friends and I still give him crap about dumping me in a note.

I am responsible, though, for dumping someone in a bad way. I pretty much ended it for no reason other than “I don’t really want to be with you anymore” which wasn’t much consolation to him, then I strung him along for a month and a half (not meaning to, I didn’t realize that I was leading him on until later). And I lied to him and told him I wanted to work things out and that I didn’t like this other person and didn’t want to date this other person. So now me and this person who I said I didn’t want to date have been together for 7 months. Karma’s gonna get me in a bad way.

42

Somewhere in my mom’s house I have my very first “Dear Jane” letter tucked away. The one that I got from my “boyfriend” when I was 14. :stuck_out_tongue: When we started “dating” he had sent his friend to ask me if I would “go out” with him while he hid at a bus stop. The same friend appeared at my door four weeks later with grim expression as he passed me the “dear Jane” note.

It didn’t really bother me then, and now I just find it hi-lari-ous! :smiley:

43

I went to high school on Long Island, he went to college in Boston. We did not, obviously, see much of each other. He did, however, agree to escort me to my senior prom.

Well. As time dragged on, I got more excited - he got less so, but I didn’t notice at the time. Until. One day I was on the phone with him, asking about what color dress I should get. His bored response was the following:

“Get something that accentuates your eyes; they’re your best non-boob feature”.

I told him that I surmised that he didn’t really want to do this, he told me that I was correct, and that was, essentially, that.

Nevermind the fact that he accused me of giving him herpes a couple months later. Asshole.

44

My tales of dating woe:

July 1988- I took her to a public fireworks show. Her ex-boyfriend just “conveniently” happened to be there, and she wanted a few minutes to talk to him. I watched them from a distance and about 20 minutes later they’re kissing! Shocked and pissed, I should have just left her right then and there, but since I felt that I was responsible for getting her home safely I stuck around. After the show I took her home. She told me that this was a “friends” kiss or some other lame bullshit like that, and she assured me that she loved me and always would. I was young and very gullible then, so I fell for her ruse. After she cancelled our next two dates I knew the gig was up fir sure. When a friend saw her with this asshole later that summer my suspicions were fully confirmed.

July 1990- I was the dumper. The relationship had gone to hell because of a lot of issues and a lot of pent-up frustration I had felt had reached the boiling point. After she pissed me off one last time that evening I exploded in a rage and quite simply told her to fuck off and then left.

May 1994- We went out for a lunch date, during which she told me that she had to stop seeing me. I was shock and surprised after thinking things had been going so well, though I did suspect something from our conversations over the phone in the days preceding. She said she had recently seen her eye doctor, who informed her that her eyes had developed a disorder in which she was expected to go blind. The news of this was too difficult for her to take and she didn’t want to be involved in a relationship anymore. About a year later I saw her driving down the road, clearly an indication that she had no such visual disorders, or she had gone in for surgery or something, or perhaps she just made the whole thing up. I suspect that this ruse was just a convenient way for her to bail out of the relationship with me since she wanted to get back together with her old boyfriend.

October 2002- After we had hit it off so well, I could sense that something was up when she suddenly started talking less and less (every time I had sensed that something was amiss in this and past reationships I denied these feelings and dismissed them as just part of my being insecure). We went out for dinner one night and she told me that her ex-husband, who had been in prison in another state for the past few years, was getting out soon. Since the prospect of getting back together with him again was more realistic (never mind the fact that he was a wife-beating drug addict), her feelings for him “resurfaced” and she felt that he was her true soulmate and that she really loved him instead. She pulled the old “we can still be friends” line, which I wasn’t about to accept. She then told me that he knew that she had been seeing someone else and warned that he’d come after me if he saw us together, friends or otherwise. While I was hurt by her pulling the rug out from beneath me, in retrospect I know now that I am better off without her. In fact, I’ve decided I’m better off without anybody.

45

We’d only been dating (as in doing things other than just sleeping together) for maybe three or four months. We went out to dinner and a movie, and we were both uncomfortable and guarded the whole evening. When we got back to my place he said he didn’t think things were going to work out, and while I completely agreed with him I was still a little upset that it actually happened. Dumb, I know. I was kind of bummed for a few days and then bounced back, as it was really the best thing for both of us; it still sucks when something ends. We ended up hooking up a few times after that, but that’s sort of just par for the course, it seems.

46

my ex, E and I broke up so many times, I can’t remember them all. The gist was usually, You’re a horrible, ugly person. I never want to see you again! Then, a day to two weeks later, I love you, you’re The One, I can’t live without you!

Lather, rinse, repeat.

47

Oh, pick me, pick me.

My ex husband was a very funny guy with the incredible capacity to love …… many women at the same time. He was also a believer in the new-age-y and a big fantasy fiction fan, and his hold on what I consider shared reality could be somewhat tenacious.

So one day he comes home and explains to me that he is leaving me. But it is ok because he and his new girlfriend knew each other in a past life – they were fairies together (the kind with wings, not the ones that go to Gay Pride events) – and they had pledged all eternity together – so it was really a prior commitment.

(They are still together, to the best of my knowledge, ten years later – and I got to marry my soul mate – so I am nothing but content with this. Besides, it’s a great story).

48

Looks like you dodged a bullet on that one Dangerosa.

I can just picture them flitting around town together… Flinging glitter… Skipping in the grocery store as they look for sugarplums… Crying during Peter Pan when Tinkerbell bites it… Getting mad at the speciescist portrayal of fairies in Disney’s Fantasia…

49

Years later, my ex and his wife were expecting their first child. And this was announced by a mutual friend in a circle of my girlfriends. One of my girlfriends quickly quipped “Damn, those wings are going to be a bitch to pass!” I fell off my chair.

50

Oh, I’m sure that every guy reading this thread has had this experience: :rolleyes:

After dating J for 18 months and having such a great relationship (ha!) that she had me thinking she wanted to get married and have kids, this conversation takes place:

Me: What time should I pick you up Saturday?
She: I can’t see you anymore.
Me: What?!?!? Why not?
She: I’m a lesbian now.
Me: Uhhhh… (stunned silence)
She: click (no other contact, no calls, no explanation, nothing.)

Yeah, that was memorable in a WTF??? sort of way. Considering I was only 20 at the time, it left me wondering for quite a while just what in hell I did that was so awful that she swore off men altogether.

We happened to run into each other a few years later and had a friendly lunch together. Turns out she had always been “curious” about girls, but had tried to keep it hidden from everyone, especially her parents. Evidently I was something of a front for their benefit. Thanks for screwing with me! :smack:

Heh. Makes me wonder what she was fantasizing about every time I gave her oral. No wonder she enjoyed it so! :stuck_out_tongue:

51

Now if you were reading this thread and you realized that one of your exs was a SD member, would you fess up?
None of the previous posters are an ex of mine.
My first marriage went rather badly. She basically tried to get me to throw her out. Why, I don’t know. We had a small business together and well I did 99% of the work. She spent about 125% of the money. She spent it on visiting her boyfriend in Houston and coming back with hickies. Still it didnt’ end till she just moved out while I was at work and she went to live with a friend of mine in Las Vegas. She told him that I beat her and such so he was rescuing her.

He broke up with her by moving to Ohio.

When my HS girlfriend broke up with me she gave me a lovely parting gift of a nice pen complet with a marble desk mount. (this was befor Say Anything and I feel that Cameron Crowe ripped me off!) She then told me that I was her ‘ideal man’ but not what she could realistically expect to get.

!!!

52

Not me, but my brother.

When he was a sophomore, one of the popular senior girls in high school asked him out to prom. He was very excited, as you would expect.

She called him on prom night to tell him that she was “just using him to make her boyfriend jealous”. He needed therapy after that.

53

Damn… nobody?
But… but… sex is fun!

My own experiences are a mixed bag.

The first girlfriend I ever had turned out to be engaged to another man, ended that one myself real fast.

The second girlfriend I had broke my heart and then dated my best friend at the time. (seven years later she sent me a letter asking me to hang out, we hadn’t spoken in seven years, I put her note through a shredder :smiley: )

Third girlfriend I had was most likely one of the most brilliant human beings I’ve ever met but after a while she just didn’t attract me… I was young, it was long distance, I broke up using the tried and true method of just not calling.

Then karma kicked me in the ass.

Fourth girlfriend and I were pretty serious, had been together for more than a year when out of the blue she dumped me, via AOL Instant Messenger, right as I was running out the door to get to my job.
Less than 48 hours later she was sleeping in another man’s bed, not just fucking him, but spending nights in his bed.

I still call her my ex-whorebeast :wink:

54

Not exactly a dumping, but…

This girl S. and I had made plans to go out on what would have been our first date. First, she didn’t want me to pick her up at her place (there was a warning, wasn’t it). Instead, we were supposed to meet in front of the theatre. After arriving at the appointed time, and waiting about 20 minutes, I heard the box office phone ringing and in due course, my name being called by the person in the box office. It was none other than S., standing me up over the phone.

For sheer Herman Hesse-ian surrealism, try getting stood up over the box office phone of the Nuart Theater in West L.A.

I should have expected it when she wouldn’t tell me the other letters of her name.

55

OK, I’ve held off posting about this, but it’s been almost 2 months since the official breakup and the bitterness and most of the sadness are gone.

Jesus stole my girlfriend.

Last November I met a woman I was completely convinced was the one for me. She and I connected instantly. She was unconventional in many ways - atheist, bisexual, polyamorous, never wants kids. We saw the world in the same way, we wanted pretty much the same things from life, and we couldn’t get enough of each other. She appeared to be the most “issue-free” woman I’d ever met. We were both pretty convinced that this was the last relationship we’d need to have. She planned to move in with me in May.

In retrospect, I saw and ignored a bunch of little warning signs. This was a mistake. Individually they weren’t significant but as a whole they pointed to danger.

She told me she had one issue - a phobia of vomiting. Not just a dislike of it, but an actual phobia - emetophobia. And she had some gastrointestinal problems that occasionally caused her a little discomfort, but she’d pretty well gotten a handle on them, so it wasn’t a big deal.

Well, her stomach problems got worse, which triggered her phobia, which pushed her deep into depression. By January we were only seeing each other once a week for a few hours of TV-watching. Sex was a thing of the past. Hell, going anywhere and doing anything was a thing of the past. We didn’t have much of a relationship by this point, but I was still convinced we were right for each other and determined to support her until she got through this depression.

One day I notice she’s dropped off one of the message boards we used to hang out on together. I asked her about it and she said she just “didn’t feel like chatting there any more.” That was weird, as she had quite a history there, but I chalked it up to her depression. The next week she finally tells me what’s really going on - she’s found God. She e-mails me to tell me I “have to look elsewhere for a girlfriend,” as she’s not sure when she’s going to be out of this depression, and oh, she’s returned to the Catholic church in which she was raised, too, and really believes in Jesus and His salvation now. This is the most anti-religious, anti-Catholic person I’d ever met. She’d been this way for years before. But according to her, prayer had helped her feel “a bit better” so apparently she’d been wrong all along. Oh, and of course she had to throw in the “I still want to be friends” line. <sigh> Of course you do.

I didn’t talk to her for about 6 weeks. When we finally e-mailed again I discovered she now wants kids, too. :rolleyes:

She was even a user here for a while. Hopefully it won’t bother her that I’m posting this (although I don’t think she’s logged on her since her re-conversion). There’s nothing here I haven’t said to her directly. I truly hope she gets well, finds peace, and gets everything she wants out of life. It’s just a shame I had to get my life entangled with hers.

But at least now I get to use the line, “Jesus stole my girlfriend.”

56

My wife of nineteen years notified me that she was filing for divorce while I was in rehab trying to deal with a drug addiction and a failed suicide attempt. I was being treated for “profound depression with suicidal ideation” at the same time, and my therapist sure had his work cut out for him when I received the notice. But I’m feeling much better now.

57

Well, here’s mine from about five years ago:

Boyfriend was a schlub - couldn’t hold a job, wasn’t paying his half of the bills, talked about how he wanted to have sex with other women, lied about how much pot he was smoking. I could just about go back in time and smack myself for putting up with him.

One afternoon in January, I realize I’m feeling feverish and off. There’s a sensation in my lower abdomen, like someone’s pushing a fist against my stomach, just above my hip bone. That’s a bad sign. I go to the ER (big mistake. It could have waited until Monday when I could see my regular doc), and am told that I have trichomoniasis, which has caused a bout of PID. Then the doc treats me like I’m a big old slut and got it from sleeping around. I’m so emotionally traumatized that I don’t get around to putting two and two together (if I’m only having sex with boyfriend, where did the trich infection come from?). Thanks to the boyfriend’s inability to pay his bills, I was broke, and had to write a bad check for the meds to clear up the infection.

His response: angry that he has to take the meds as well because alcohol is contraindicated and he wants his beer.

The next day I tried to discuss the matter with him (and the penny was starting to drop) and tell him how upset I was, how depressed, how worn out and frightened, tired of not being able to pay bills, and on and on.

His response: “Well, I guess I’m never going to live this one down.”

To my credit, I didn’t kill him. But I did scream blue bloody murder at the top of my lungs for at least a solid minute.

Yeah, the relationship was over at that point, but it took me two more weeks to kick his cheating ass out of the apartment I was paying rent on. That was only after he spent $300 on meat and brought the skank he was screwing over to use my washer and dryer when he thought I’d be sleeping.

58

My husband of sixteen years and I had been having some problems. He’d lost his job with the Army during the Reduction In Force in 1990, and had a lot of trouble finding a good-paying job. But he had quit drinking, and while I had suspected him of cheating in the past, I thought we were getting over the worst of it. In fact, on our anniversary he had told me that despite all the financial problems, he was the happiest he had ever been. But then for a few months he started being a total shit…not helping with the kids or going to Scout meetings with his son, taking the kids to his mom’s house for a weekend and leaving them there while he went off “driving around Kentucky”, or going to visit his mom and never being there when I called.

Then one day, after the kids were in bed, he comes downstairs with all his dress shirts and irons them. Usually he asks me to do this, so I was really pleased but puzzled. Then, carrying all the shirts on their hangers, he heads for the door and takes the shirts out to his car! When he comes back in I ask him what he’s doing, and he says it’s all over and he’s leaving me. He says he’s moving in with his buddy Andy and he’ll come over everyday and stay until the kids go to bed so that they don’t know what’s happening, until we decide how to tell them. I’m so stunned I can’t even think.

About a week later he admits that Andy, who had been staying with a female friend while in town here working on a degree, had moved back to his home state a few months ago, and that he (my husband) was now madly in love with the friend, and they were soulmates and all that crap. Is it any wonder I cringe whenever I hear the word “Soulmates”?

Oh, and the “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life” speech he gave me on our anniversary, along with the bottle of Champagne and roses? He’d started his affair a few days before, and was head-over-heels in love with her, not me, but figured he’d just let the joy overflow.

The only time I dumped someone was in high school. I really liked Chris, but realized after agreeing to go steady that while he was crazy about me, I was not so crazy about him, and I really didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t think it was fair to continue seeing him, even though I was really flattered by finally having a boyfriend (hey, it was the 70’s, and we were both nerds). I couldn’t believe that after all the waiting, I would have to break up with the only guy who wanted to go out with me! There was a girl in 10th grade (we were in 11th) who was in band with us (I told you…nerds!) who was crazy about Chris, but he was so crazy about me he hadn’t noticed. And she was blonde! And cute! And I was her section leader! So I gave him the little talk about how he liked me more than I liked him, and it really wasn’t fair for me to lead him on, and maybe we should just go back to being friends, and then I told him it would be alright, he’d find someone else soon. Then I walked away (I think it was at a basketball game) found the blonde and told her that I had just broken up with Chris, she had a clear playing field now, and that this would be a good time to go be a shoulder to cry on. They dated for two years…it was quite a love-match, and she thanked me regularly. I wonder where they are now?

59

College. We went to a party together, and she spent the evening with every guy but me. Then on the way home, she told me “I think we had more fun when we were just friends.”

Thing is, we never *were * “just friends”. We went from total strangers to dating. So what she was really saying was, “I think we had more fun when we didn’t know each other.”

60

So I was dating this guy for 2 years. We were living together for one. We had sort of discussed that he wasn’t happy, but it didn’t really sink in for me. We were living in Mexico, actually, and were ready to move back and decide where our next place would be. He droppped me off at my folks for the summer and we were both going to look for teaching jobs overseas–presumably together.

Well, I got a job in Europe and I called him to tell him. He said, “Oh well, I had an interview for one in Japan.” I said, “Well, ok, I guess I could live in Japan for a bit” and he said, “No, I don’t want you to come with me. I don’t love you and never did.” I hung up on him.

So that was pretty much it. What should be noted is that he did it over the phone, long distance, my phone bill, and wouldn’t give me an explanation. I then found out that he was mad that I had hung up on him. Right. He ended a two year live-in relationship over the phone and I was the rude one in that conversation. OK.

Needless to say, he was a jerk and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. But it still sucked.