@Moriarty, you’ve basically doxxed someone by revealing her porn persona, and that is against our rules:
Personal information. When speaking of others who are not public figures, do not use real names and be cautious in your use of details that could enable individuals to be identified. Please remember that postings on this board are visible to anyone with access to the Internet and are retained in a database indefinitely. In addition, the SDMB is open to third-party search engines (“spiders”). We advise against posting personal revelations or other information that may come back to haunt you. If you post personal information and later regret it, you can request deletion but we do not guarantee we will comply. See Deletion of posts.
I’m not issuing you a Warning over it, but it’s a close call. I’m also removing the reference in your post. Please don’t do this again.
To all: Let’s refrain from making Pit-like posts in MPSIMS. This includes rhymes about jars with bats in formaldehyde and personal exploits involving tantric sex.
It’s not really your concern how someone chooses to refer to their partner. This verges on a personal attack. Knock it off.
It might be a good time to remember that not every thread is for everyone.
I would echo the view that who she is today is more important than what she used to be.
If I were to meet a woman I liked and she admitted to me that in a past life she had been a sex worker, it wouldn’t change my perception of her, at least not in and of itself. If she is no longer a sex worker today and is willing to have a monogamous relationship, it doesn’t affect her ability to have a relationship with me today.
There’s no point stringing someone along and THEN finding out both sides are resentful about something. If it genuinely matters it’s not gonna stop mattering.
As someone once said, better to break up now than ten years and two kids from now.
Well, I am very sorry. (I won’t comment on moderation further, other than to say that i didn’t mean to “dox” somebody with a stage name. Clearly not thinking)
Mods you can close this if you choose. I won’t be offended or anything.
I guess, at the end of the day, I’m just sad.
I almost never date. I work too much and don’t socialize often, and so I can go years without a girlfriend. And even when i do end up in a relationship it seems to be dysfunctional (the last woman was married; her husband was weirdly okay with it. But we’d never have a sleepover or a lazy Sunday. So I broke up with her). Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a healthy, committed relationship.
So here I am, I meet this woman, trying to be mature as I let myself start to feel adolescent emotions, worrying about the right amount of romantic interest to show around Valentines Day, and then all of a sudden I have to reconcile my feelings about sex work.
Is a normal relationship really so much to ask?!
(And yes, I know that sex workers are perfectly capable of such things, and she’s more than just this thing. But you have to admit it’s not the usual path to committed bliss)
I do feel you in general though. I generally have casual friends between relationships but I seldom connect incredibly well with someone to the point that I want something exclusive and it’s mutual. To find out shortly in that there’s a major dealbreaker is incredibly disappointing. That just happened to me in November and alcoholism which she had been hiding from me was the problem.
This seems a deal-breaker for you. If it is, tell her and move on.
I think it is wrong to hold her past against her like this. If you like her and she likes you why screw it up over something that happened before you ever met?
But, it is your call. You seem wound-up over it. You’d do you and her a favor to end it now if you can’t get over this and/or it will be a mind worm that forever bugs you.
That’s sad though. It seems you both like each other. Your call.
ETA: Consider asking her if she is willing to have a frank discussion about this. Then put it all out there. All your fears and concerns and whatnot. See where it goes knowing it could be very good or very bad. Just an idea…
We are. Tonight, we have a date at 6:30 pm about two and a half hours from now.
At the end of last night I told her I had seen “her video” (I didn’t realize until this morning that it wasn’t a one off). She wanted to talk in person. So there’s no doubt it will come up.
I recommend coming completely clean about how you found out and what you know. (You should probably leave out that you shared her name with your friends.) She’s certainly had this discussion before.
I actually told her that it was kind of a funny story (see OP). She said she wanted to hear more tonight,
I’m not sure if she’ll laugh, but I’m hoping that when I tell her I was examining her freckles like I was trying to crack the Kennedy assassination, she gets the humor of it all.
Rebound relationships are often extra intense. Divorce rebound can be moreso. Add in kids and her unconventional past, chances are this is not going to be an easy going.relationship. Maybe it will, but don’t be surprised if there are frequent drama events you’ll be dealing with. You should accept this relationship for the type of relationship it is rather than try to mold it into the type of relationship you want it to be.
Yanno, some relationships last 3 days. Some last three months, others last three decades, and some are even longer.
If you genuinely like this woman, there’s nothing wrong with you accepting the above and the both of you, you know, having a little fun. See where it goes. If you have a 3 month relationship, well, it happens. More often than DDYP, to be honest.
Discuss this with her, and who knows… maybe you’ll get over yourself, understanding that the world can be hard on women in ways we men will never understand.
Whatever you do, don’t become part of the problem and be hard on her too. Decide now. Before you go on this date. And don’t get angry.
I am endorsing this post. And I was of the same mind in your other thread where large numbers were jumping to concerns about a blended family.
You still barely know this woman.
Slow down and breathe.
Get to know each other. You like her. This may be the first test of whether you two can become an actual relationship: can you be confident enough with her to be vulnerable, to explain how your past experience with your ex makes you scared to be in a relationship with a more highly sexually experienced woman?
The person who you are possibly getting involved with is who she is today. How she responds to that exposure of yourself gives you information about that person that is important.
Imaging myself single I’d also have apprehensions honestly, ones that would be based on my insecurities, not judgement of her. Would I be disappointing after those sorts of experiences? I’d need to talk that out.
Good luck. I’m sorta rooting for this to work out.
or 
