...and you see your SO on the internet...naked...

Presuming that you and your SO have not made any agreements deeming this acceptable, how would you react?
If it were obviously an older (pre-your relationship) pic/vid, would it make a difference in your reaction?

It would depend. Is she doing things that she won’t do with me? That might make me feel a little ripped off.

Show her the website and forget about it. Do not ask questions.

Depends on a number of things.

You’re living together and have been for awhile, and you discover her professional porn career? Yeah, that’s a big deal that should have been discussed before moving in together.

It’s an amateur whatever from years and years ago and you haven’t been together that long? They might not know, and/or it could have been posted for spite, or it simply hasn’t come up yet because she didn’t think it appropriate.

It also depends on the kind of people you are.

After I saved it for personal uses?

You! I think I like you.

If your husband was receiving bukkake, I think a couple of questions might be appropriate.

I’d probably plan a re-creation of the shoot in private, assuming she’s still genuinely into whatever she was doing on camera. (I’m likely into whatever kind of porn I’m seeking out.)

I find lots of things on the internet naked. I often think of things to Google while I’m in the shower. :smiley:

It depends on how many girls and cups are involved.

Whose liklihood is determined here: http://xkcd.com/467/

Certain things are important after all.

Just naked? Big whoop. Naked and getting dp’d by two ugly guys? Wellllll, that might not sit so well.

I tend to think my first reaction would be dismay. This is not the only indication that I am rather more prudish than some others are.

But my second reaction is bafflement–what exactly am I doing that I have discovered someone naked on the internet? It’s not exactly something I spend a lot of time doing.

In the end, I think I would be inclined to have a discussion about the matter, with some willingness to forgive and forget if the picture was posted in the relatively distant past, and a preference for puttig an end to the relationship if putting the picture on the internet was intended to meet needs I was unable or unwilling to meet.

There is a girl who is in the group of friends my bf associates with. One day, somebody found a particularly hardcore video of her doing all sorts of things with some older guys on a website. Evidently she had a whole personality (briefly) devoted to this porn career. They felt that being their friend, they had to tell her bf, and he actually sit and watched the whole video. They’d been together over a year, and he was entirely unaware. I think he vomited afterward. I’ve been told it’s very hardcore, and haven’t seen it myself, although I have associated with this girl before.
BTW: It’s very hard to get that out of your head once you know it.

Did he stay with her?

After reading what you added in your edit, I would assume not.

Actually, yes. We just saw them at a friend’s house on the river this past weekend. Quite the happy couple. Meanwhile, everytime she did something remarkably non-sexy I was thinking of some tattooed 50-something guy banging her in the…well, nevermind.

I think it would bother me more if the two guys were good-looking… since I’m not… :stuck_out_tongue:


There are photos of my partner out there, wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve made their way onto the internet. They were taken long before we met, when he was in college and needed the money.

This is all kinds of awesome, thanks :slight_smile:

I date guys, occasionally from dating sites, so it’s not unlikely that I would have seen their naked pictures on the internet even before we started dating. I don’t think it would bother me unless it indicated that he had been unsafe or was currently cheating.