So we went to lunch today after I got out of class. We met at Jason’s Deli. When she arrived she gave me a big ol’ hug. We got lunch and sat down and talked about all kinds of stuff. Her work, she does art. My music. Random other stuff. I enjoyed that quite a bit. After we ate she suggested checking out the Borders. So we went into Borders and wandered around for a while. She grabbed my hand and we held hands for a bit until it seemed to me that she realized we were doing the friend thing and hand holding wasn’t part of that*. We wandered around some more into another store. She put her arm around my waist. Not knowing quite what to do I put my arm around her shoulders. We wandered around that way for a while. We talked about all kinds of stuff. She asked me when I am going to cook her dinner. I am making green chile stew, she is bringing the guacomole but I don’t know when. I asked her if she still wanted to see G3 and she said yes. We wandered around some more. We spent somthing like two hours in two stores. There isn’t that much to see in the stores. When we left she hugged me really hard, twice. I didn’t kiss her, though I wanted too. I am pretty sure I could have.
I think she doesn’t know what she wants.
I know what I would like but we’ll see what happens.
In any case I really enjoyed lunch and wandering around even though I am slightly confused.
Personally, I think you should ask her what is up with the other guy. Say it as calmly and non-aggressively as you possibly can, but you have a right to inquire about this before you make out with her or whatever.
Good luck, dude. Dating is confusing and scary as hell. I’m pulling for you, if not with this one, the next.
+1 - but other than that, I am sure your non-pressure approach is working. Let her grab your hand, let her put her arm on your waist - respond, but don’t initiate. Sounds like she is trying to figure things out - let her.
Yeah, if we get to the making out point I’ll have a talk with her. I hope we get there but until then I am just going to hang out with her and go with it.
I can understand her needing to figure things out. If I was in her place I think I’d be a little confused as well.
Rubystreak, this is a little scary and a lot confusing. At the same time I did some serious thinking about this situation and dating as a whole and figured out that a) I’m not neccesarily going to end up in a relationship with the first (or next) woman I like and b) it has little to do with me. I’m a decent looking guy, fairly smart, well read, have a pretty good job, take care of myself, pretty talented in certain areas and a generally nice guy. Now, if in the present situation she chooses the other guy over me, it doesn’t change anything about me. It just means that she is looking for something else and that is ok.
I think this is the smart way to handle it. Go along with casual, fun dating and flirting as long as you can stand to do it without going any further. I do think you owe it to yourself, from how you sound in this thread, to clear the air before you get into a sexual relationship with her. I know it will be tempting, if it gets to that point, to just be like “fuck it, I’m taking the nookie regardless.” You could do that if you didn’t give a damn if it was over the next day. If you know you’ll feel like crap if you get invested in things and then she walks, then ask about it first.
Yeah, that’s total chick advice. I was a little embarrassed typing it, to be honest. If you’re ice cold, then you can brazenly not worry about this shit. But I do not think you’re ice cold, and not sure that you’d want to be anyway. It’s nice that you’re into it and you give a damn, so I hope you’ll protect yourself emotionally in this situation.
Rubystreak, this is a little scary and a lot confusing. At the same time I did some serious thinking about this situation and dating as a whole and figured out that a) I’m not neccesarily going to end up in a relationship with the first (or next) woman I like
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Well, probably not, but I can still hope that for you, right? I’m glad you’ve calmed yourself down about this. I know it’s hard. You’re going to be OK. I hope this girl doesn’t dick you over. I might have to kick her ass if she does.
Well, probably not, but I can still hope that for you, right? I’m glad you’ve calmed yourself down about this. I know it’s hard. You’re going to be OK. I hope this girl doesn’t dick you over. I might have to kick her ass if she does.
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Well, if any ass kicking needs to be done I will make sure you are the first to know.
I told a couple of my co-workers about the situation. One, a female, said that I should not be available the next she wants to talk/go out or whatever. She went on for quite a long time about how to play the situation which was basically act like I have more important things to do. That is the last time I mention any of this to her.
I am not into games like that. I’ve always been a little dumb when it comes to figuring out what women actually want. I’ve always done the honest bit, even when I was drinking*.
At this point I am contacting more wonem on the dating site, with not very great success. Oh well. Having just said that an email popped into my inbox from a girl on the site. She is very cute…and STACKED*. So off to write an email.
I’m glad you’ve calmed yourself down about this. I know it’s hard. You’re going to be OK. I hope this girl doesn’t dick you over. I might have to kick her ass if she does.