I have a date tomorrow night. I haven’t been on a date in a long time.
A little background, I am a recovering alkie. When I was drinking I was a lone drunk. I drank alone for the most part. There were occasional one night stand kind of things along the way, but it’s been a long time since I had an actual date. Before my drinking got uncontrolable I played in a band in bars, not much actual dating there, though there were a lot of quickie relationships that would last a month or two. Going in it was pretty well understood that the relationships were not going to be any kind of long term thing*. They were women who wanted to party and so did I. So we’d do that for a while then move on. In the middle of that I did have two serious relationships. The odd thing with both those relationships is that we pretty much skipped dating and went straight to living together. So, I haven’t been on an actual date since I was like 17.
This is going to be odd. I am totally looking forward to it but at the same time it is going to be different. I met her through a dating site. The woman is very pretty and we’ve talked online a bunch. We like a reasonable amount of the same things (books, music, good Mexican food) and have similar thoughts on the future and what we want.
At the same time, IT’S A DATE! God, I haven’t done one of these in years. It should be interesting. We’re going to a Mexican joint for dinner and take it from there.
Slee
*It was the bar scene. I ‘dated’ a lot of women but it was almost always a situation where we liked each other enough to have sex. Yeah, I was young. It was a lot of fun at the time but not exactly the healthies or smartest thing to do.
Good luck, slee! Check your zipper before she opens the door, don’t eat anything garlic-y for dinner, and don’t laugh if she has cheese hanging from her chin from a messy enchilada.
Wow, I can’t blame you for being a little nervous after all these years. Meeting someone from the internet for the first time can be a little awkward at first but I’ve never had a truly bad experience with it. Best of luck to you.
A ton of luck Eric - please take a deep breath and be yourself and I hope you have a great time!
but I think **Twick **nailed the basics…
Oh - and don’t geek out too much on guitar - as a fellow guitar geek, I learned early on that while the women I dated liked the fact that I played guitar in bands, they didn’t give a hoot about the minutiae…(nor does any non-guitar-playing person for that matter!! )
Keep the conversation light and fun at first. No one likes to be hit with anyones emotional baggage on the first date. I’m not saying that to be an ass. If you guys hit it off then those types of conversations will follow naturally.
Just relax, don’t obsess over acting perfect. Just have fun!
oh, you are SO right about that… before i met the dive master i did the online personals thing. most were duds, as you might imagine, but the one fella who still stands out in my mind five years later is the one that talked my ear off for nearly two hours - about his ex-wife, her shortcomings *and * her sexual appetites. talk about TMI!!! :rolleyes: i would get the conversation steered toward other topics only to have him start right back in about her a few minutes later.
on top of that, he didn’t even offer to pay for my single glass of rather inferior white wine (remember, he asked ME out). i would have declined the offer, knowing damn well this would be our only encounter.
as the **chao ** said, just relax, have fun, no pressure. you’ll know pretty quickly if there’s going to be anything more to the relationship than the single date.
Remember to wear matching sox. Use your best table manners (eat with utensils, not with your hands). Fart silently. Don’t burp until she goes to the bathroom.
I just got back and we had a good time. She is a good looking gal. Great sense of humor and a wonderful smile. We had dinner at Gardunos, a mexican joint. Conversation went well. Talked about all kinds of stuff. After that we saw ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’, her choice. We talked a while before the movie. The movie itself was ok, a little on the depressing side. It’s like the story of Job, without god.
After that she called to see if her daughter was staying the night at her ex-husbands. He said he couldn’t take her for the night so she had to go. But she asked me out on Sunday. I have to work, which sucks, but that is a good sign. I got a hug and a light kiss goodnight. We agreed to go out again.
It was a good night.
Heffalump and Roo, thanks. I’ve posted a couple threads about my drinking and my sobriety. Most of the story is there, minus a bunch of little details. Getting sober wasn’t at all easy but staying sober is my main goal and it is going well.
WordMan, guitars were discussed but only in passing. I didn’t get all guitar geek on her.
My re-entry into the dating world turned out pretty nice.
Good luck!