So, I think I'm clinically depressed

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

The past month hasn’t been good to me. I left a basically perfect life in Washington D.C. to go to an internship in Grand Rapids, Mich. What’s happened since?

I’ve found myself in a totally unfamiliar city with few friends. The city also lacks the “big city” feel that I love.

My job at the local paper is great, but it’s not as fulfilling as covering national government and politics.

Everyone I work with is married with kids, so there’s no social scene there.

After a month of mising my girlfriend, who’s now in Texas, she dumped me. After a few weeks of being very friendly, things have kind of melted down, esp. since she got into another relationship a scant two weeks after the break-up. I’ve finally broken down and asked her all the questions I’ve wanted to ask her. She hasn’t replied to that e-mail yet.

My best female friend moved to Jordan for two years.

I may be able to get a full-time job here in September, but no one’s really sure, and I’m not sure if I want to live here. On top of that, there’s no good jobs anywhere else either. (The journalism economy is doing worse than the overall.)

I have to turn in my car’s lease soon. So I have to find a new car. This is hard when you don’t know when and where your next job is and how much it will pay.

I’ve been in a major, major funk for a week now. And I think something is seriously wrong with me? The problem is I’m only an intern and I have NO health insurance, so I can’t seek any help, really, even though I know I should. If anyone knows any alternatives, I’d appreciate them. I know that sometimes problems seem bigger than they are, but given that my career, my friendships, my relationships, my transportation and my mental health are all whacked out at once, I think my concerns may actually be valid. Again, any advice is appreciated.

2

Okay, I’m a chronic depression sufferer, and I can relate to what you’re saying here. That said, I think you should get evaluated by a professional. It’s possible you do have clinical depression. Based off of this posting, though, I’d say no. This just sounds more like a run of bad luck than anything else. Life has a way of sucking sometimes. And it sometimes seems that all the bad shit just accumulates and hits at once. I think we just remember those times more. Like I said, go get checked out. But I wouldn’t be surprised if the answer is “no.”

3

You really know something is actually mentally wrong with you when things are going great but you are still depressed. Feeling depressed is a part of life, hopefully a small part. Your life is going through major changes now and I’d be more worried about you if you were skipping and singing down the street in a happy voice.

Superdude offers good advice. And even if you aren’t clinically depressed, sometimes talking to a therapist can help you get through rough times.

4

Well, it sounds as if you have good reason to feel rotten. I do agree with Superdude, that it does not really sound like clinical depression.
But then again, wether you are clinically depressed or not, you are not feeling well, and therefore you should try to do something about it.
Do not keep it to yourself. Posting a message was a good thing, I reckon, but also try to talk to your friends, even if it involves long distance telephone calls. They’re expensive, but you cannot put a price on your happiness.

When talking to friends, do not beat about the bush, i.e. do pretend your fine, when your not. I would so much prefer a friend “bothering” me with their problems, than them feeling alone and sad because they do not want to disturb me. Ask for help, that’s what friends are for.

Do not make two problems out of one. A lot of people I know who are depressed, are, on top of this, depressed about the fact that they are depressed. It is the feeling that everyone else is having a good time, and that you SHOULD be having a good time. Well, they don’t and you shouldn’t. You are feeling unhappy for a good reason (actually, feeling depressed does not even require reasons). Accept how you feel, do NOT feel ashamed of it

Maybe this seems a little oversimplying, but, when thing get on top of me I make a list (mental or paper) that states very speficically what is bothering me. Some things you cannot do anything about, but some things are quite managable when taken on their own. This way it does not seem like such a mountain to climb and solving even one little thing will (hopefully) make you feel better.

Hope this helps at least somewhat, and that I did not come over all Deanna Troi here.
Good luck!

5

What?? You mean you haven’t gone to the beach yet like I told you to? :wink:

Just kidding, of course–what I mean is that since it’s circumstances that are tough, do what you can to change your circumstances, even in small ways. And if that’s not enough, then here’s a thread in GQ right now with suggestions for getting mental health treatment without insurance. Good luck.

6

I think the minimum “guideline” for a depression diagnosis is that the drag-ass, negative feelings have been going on for two weeks or more.

That doesn’t mean that you might not have situational depression. Hell, your friends are far away, your girl just dumped you, you moved recently…all major stressors!

My advice: get yourself busy. Exercise, get out of the house, do some things. Then see if it goes away. I’d find a resource guide for Grand Rapids and see what immediate volunteer opportunities there are. Maybe you can help build a Habitat for Humanity house. Maybe you can help the parks department pull out mustard garlic. Maybe you can help coach special olympics. Maybe the local shelter needs help sorting donations. In doing these things, you will probably meet people. Even if they are not people you’d consider “friends,” it’ll be better than sitting around brooding about how many bad turns your life has taken lately.

I’ve been going through a real bad time lately. One week, my husband and I just made sure we left the house every single night. I just had to get out of the damned house, and it helped a lot, surprisingly. If you can get out and be doing something uplifting at the same time, it could be a big boost. Or at least would occupy your mind for a while.

In another few weeks, reevaluate your mood and then it might be time to seek help.

7

If you’re an intern, then you are affiliated with some university, yes? Well, I know that at my school we had a mental counseling center that was free, available to all students and affiliates. Find out about that. I know when I was having a rough period I availed myself of their services, and I’m glad I did. Good luck to you.

8

I feel your pain. I moved to Louisville, KY from Philly for a few years. Talk about a culture shock. Eventually, I fell in love with the place. Don’t write off Grand Rapids, just yet.

You are lucky, in that your fellow dopers have given you some pretty sound advice. I agree with CrankyAsAnOldMan. Don’t give in to it, keep busy. Find out about your new city. Nothing brings you down like boredom.

Things have a funny way of turning out OK. I’m sure they will for you, as well.

9

So, frock, does that mean that you still live in Louisville, KY? The very same town in which thinksnow and myself reside?

10

I agree with above. I went/am going thru the same thing right now. It
started when my girlfriend dumped me a week after Valentines Day(all that
money I wasted :mad: ), and then started something up 13 days with an old
boyfriend. Then it all started rolling downhill.

It was really bad for a while, but I still feel like shit. Friends to keep
you busy is something that’ll help, either email or phone. Now that it’s
finally warmed up here in the midwest I get my butt outside and go for a
long bike ride after work every night, and the endorphins or whatever it is
really help. Play some rock music real loud. I’ve been listening to a lot of music I listenend to in college, old punk and ska music.

You’ve got the wild mood swings I bet, don’t worry it happens. There’s
nothing worse than someone telling you to get over it, and do this or that.
You’re trying and it’ll take some time, who know how long, don’t worry how
long it takes. This message board really helped me too, I can talk and
whine and laugh without anyone knowing how much I’m hurting(hell, I just
started crying right now).

Speaking of this message board, I don’t know how far you are from Ann
Arbor, but I think there’s this Art Fair going on with a lot of the
characters from here going to it, check it out. Warning!! If it’s anything
like ours last week you’ll have a Yuppie Overload!!

Don’t do anything rash, life goes on-eventually. :wink:

11

I have recently moved back to Philly. But, I miss it there sooooooo much. I was a Sparks kid.(Don’t know if you are familiar with the club. I think it’s closed now.) Which reminds me, if you ever do a KY Dopefest count me in. Any excuse to go back.

Sorry to hijack the thread.

12

SNenc, I’ll agree with the other Dopers here and say your depression is probably more situational than anything else. That’s not to say it isn’t a problem, though. If left unchecked, it could become full-blown clinical depression.

The suggestions given by the others here are good ones, though. I strongly encourage you to try them. Talk to a professional, too, if you can find one (Catholic Social Services works on a sliding scale, and you do NOT have to be Catholic to use them!).

And tlmtlm59 is precisely right: We are planning a get together this weekend (Saturday, to be exact) at the Ann Arbor Art Fair. Join us, if you can! If you’d like more information, email me at flintdope@hotmail.com, or check the thread titled “Hey, Any Dopers Wanna Go To The Ann Arbor Art Fair?”

13

Got a car? Put some good tuneage on, and make the drive. What is it, 2 hours? 2 1/2? It’ll kill some good time on Saturday, plus you’ll get to meet some cool Dopers. I’d love to meet you!

14

While I appreciate the invite to the Ann Arbor art fair, I already have plans involving musical genius Stevie Wonder at Hart Plaza… but thanks!

Actually, things are looking up. The breakup with my ex is no longer “nasty” and has been resolved in the best possible way — with our frienship intact.

Now there’s just the trivial things of my career and health insurance to worry about. I suspect my job will offer to extend my internship until the money’s free to hire me full time. But since I’m going to have a new car payment next month, which will definitely be higher than the one I have now, I need a pay boost. Plus, I have asthma, and going into a seasonal change without health coverage is ill advised.

I could take a job at a smaller paper that would give me instant benefits and, hopefully, coworkers that are actually in my demographic. But the paper here is easily the biggest one I can get a job at in these economic conditions.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire, folks…