What about Orlando’s lost wits?
So I'm heading over the world where all the inexplicably lost stuff goes. Can I grab y'all anything?
Handmade throwing knife from my SCA days. A master armsmaker hand-ground a blade from an unusual material – spring steel. It wasn’t supposed to be a"period" medieval weapon, it was a unique fantasy piece. Long for a thrower, razor-sharp, and perfectly balanced. In tests, this thing always seemed to hit the throwing target point first and sink in heavily. It was polished black and had an oiled handle of some reddish wood – maybe rosewood?
The spring steel made it sort of flexible. It got lots of attention at Society events and the guy who made it always seemed to regret selling it to me.
I kept it in my bedroom, wrapped up, hidden in a clothes dresser drawer among seldom-worn clothes. I hadn’t taken it out in a while when we got ready to move, but I knew it was there, and made a point of fetching it from that drawer for safekeeping BEFORE any movers came into the house.
It was gone.
I’ve never seen it again, nor have any of my friends who are familiar with it. Presumably if the people who coveted it at Society events had somehow taken it, someone would have noticed it; it was the sort of thing that draws attention from people who like knives.
I would like it back; please clean it first in case there’s incriminating DNA on it.
I have three cats and a husband. All of them are famous for taking things and not putting them back where they belong. My husband is particularly bad about using my good sewing scissors for cutting things they’re not made to cut, and ruining them.
My septum, please. It was there after the surgery to realign it, it had stitches in it. Now, there’s a big hole there.
No idea where all that cartilage went.
Hey, can I get two things? You didn’t say I couldn’t, so I’m going for it…
First and most missed is the family ring my husband bought for me when our second child was born. You know the type, a birthstone for each member of the family all in a row… The best I can figure out is that I dropped it when took it off to put on hand cream. I believe it went into the mechanism for raising the footrest on the end of our couch. We turned the whole room upside down, no ring. When we finally decided the couch had served us as long is it was able, my husband cut it (the couch) apart in case the ring had gotten into the fabric somewhere. No ring. I’d much appreciate having that back.
Also, a Friday the 13th Port Dover T-shirt that my husband brought back with him for our daughter. Just as I read further upthread, it went missing between the dirty laundry hamper and the clean laundry basket. There have been several “official” t-shirts, one for each Friday the 13th… You’ll recognize it by the picture of the knights and the “700 Years of Tradition” banner. It’s brown, adult size small. Thanks again. :0)
That could screw everything up. Looking there might make the person realize why the item had been lost, and exactly what had happen, and then it would no longer be inexplicably lost and thus no longer on the aforementioned catalogue world.
I know how to get there. I know how not to get trapped there. I know how to get back. I am personally satisfied with that knowledge, because there are some things I do not wish details on. How is sausage made? I don’t want the details, thanks. What does Ann Coulter look like naked? Likewise.
My camera. When I was living in Budapest in 1995, before I came home, I decided to do a “tourism day” where I would take all the pictures that everyone back home wanted.
Once I got home I was headed to the photo shop to get the film developed. Stopped at the library and the camera was gone. Not any monetary value, but dammit, I can’t understand how the camera fell out of my coat pocket.
What about stolen items? Cause I’d love to have my Guild 12-string guitar back.
If not then how about my mother’s roller skate key? It was on a key chain that went missing around 40 years ago.
My kitty. She seems to have left home last Wednesday and hasn’t been back… 
My black Gap hoodie, which I put down in my high school in 2007 and which subsequently ran off in search of its fortune, or something. It was a good hoodie.
Oh, no! Skald, this must take precedence over all. Find the kitty!
My daughter’s cell phone. Blackberry Pearl Flip. Lost 3 months ago.
Since you began this thread, 2 missing items have spontaneously reappeared in the exact places I knew they were and had searched those exact places many times fruitlessly. Then, suddenly, they came back. Without me even having to ask you or St. Thecla for them.
Only non-living things go there, sadly. So if the kitty is there, well, ITD probably doesn’t want to know. If it was me, I’d work under the assumption that Kitty went to The World Where All Neutered Cats & Dogs Go To And Find Their Genitals Spontaneously Regenerating and Then Have Tons of Hot Pet Sex.
Argh! I can’t find the garage door opener!
Now it’s important because we use the garage door like out front door, we come and go by it almost elusively. And it can only be opened automatically. Now yesterday after walking to the store with my daughter, I put the opener next to my jacket on the counter. Now I can’t find it! I’ve looked everywhere. I just finished looking all through the garage with a flashlight, but it’s just not anywhere.
Find it please!
Skald, hurry back with the kitty. I miss her.
Hey, just wanted to say thinks for bringing this back! Doing laundry this week I went into the dirty hamper and somewhere in the middle of the clothes was this poor little t-shirt all folded up nicely surrounded by stinky socks and dirty t-shirts. It has been months, and it just appeared. Now I’m a bit worried about how you got in, but thanks, anyway!
A bus pass that had been missing for two years turned up under the passenger seat of my car yesterday. Having managed to hide through several car searches in the interim. Now if I could only find the missing gift card that I was looking for (in less than two years).
One of my treasures is a crochet book that was my mother’s. It was actually published the year I was born. It has to be in my house somewhere along with a lot of other stuff like my crochet hooks. I would never have taken it anywhere and everybody else says nope, haven’t seen it. We have looked EVERYWHERE! If you would please bring it back I will crochet you a doily. Or a bedspread. Or a tablecloth.