By “tutored” I mean vasectomizified, BTW, for those not up on their Far Side references. Two kids is it for me, and no need for the wife to keep popping pills is a bonus.
So, Dopers who’ve been through the procedure, was it relatively painless? This’ll be the first surgical operation I’ve ever had. How long was the recovery period, really?
And lastly, frozen peas in the crotch, yea or nay?
And here I was about to say that if your instructor puts on gloves and asks you to lie down and says this may sting a bit, you’re probably not in the Algebra session. 
I’ve known some guys that have had it done, and don’t recall any tales of woe and agony.
I had myself childproofed around 15 years ago.
It’s not something you’ll want to plan to run a marathon after, but the discomfort only lasted a few days to a week for me, as I recall, and the upside is huge.
If you get cauterized, like I did, just be aware that you never really do get over the sight/smell of smoke rising from your nether regions and the accompanying sizzly sound of parts of your primary sexual characteristics being seared.
I could have written this exact post.
Yea, to the bag-o-peas.
What they said.
Also… it feels like you’ve been racked in the groin. But that mostly goes away in a day or two. Cold packs really do help - especially first 24 hours. A little tylenol every few hours helps too. You’ll be walking around without much trouble the next day but you’ll feel like you’ve had a groin injury for the following week or two.
Definitely worth it though.
Try not to use a surgeon who is morally opposed to birth control and believes that Novocaine works instantly.
Try story, I had a dermatologist on the same floor as Dr. Asshole. After my V I would on occasion visit the dermatologist and I’d stick my head in Asshole’s door and tell any patient in his waiting room that they would be smart to find another doctor.
Got the big V many years ago.
The overall procedure was not terribly unpleasant. Needles in the crotchal area tended to freak me out a little, but overall, the worst part was when the doc stopped after doing the first one and said last chance to change your mind, but be aware that if you do, you’ll be half-vassed forever.
This led to an exchange of raunchy jokes between him and me that nearly chased his nurse out of the room.
Tell us more about the huge upside. Is it better than viagra?
No. I mean, how would I know?
This reminded me: the nurse was terribly disappointed in the job I did shaving myself, but commented that it’s hardly unusual for guys to do a good job at that, since it’s a first time for most of us.
You know the feeling when, after a good racking, you can finally breathe normally and walk without limping? When the worst is over, but you still have no doubt you absorbed a good shot? That’s what it felt like to me. My scrotum was the color an over ripe blueberry for a few days, then went through the whole RGBIV spectrum before returning to normal. Once I was sure it wasn’t going to fall off, I felt much better.
I had it done almost twenty years ago now. My main advice? When the doc says, take it easy for the next 72 hours, DO IT! I followed his advice and everything was fine. A friend decided after a day he was OK to go out and mow the lawn. Baaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddd idea.
So get a couple of good DVDs, a bag of ice, some Tylenol, and just lie on the couch for the weekend.
Oh, it’s also a good idea to put the cat out.
My doc gave me Percocet. Didn’t really need them, which made them all the more enjoyable.
2 kids is enough for anyone!
I went to the vet just after #2 came along knowing it would be uncomfortable and all, but worth it.
A minute or two of ouch, a day or two of sitting on the sofa with your wife waiting on you hand and foot because she’s so grateful and proud of you, and time to watch all the episodes of Arrested Development on Netflix is a no-brainer. And tell her to bring you lots of ice cream.
You deserve it, and holding the bowl in your lap is a bonus.
She can stop the pills and all the side effects they bring, and you can rest easy that you won’t have any more surprises.
Oh, and start saving for college. It’s coming up in about 9 minutes. :eek:
Damn it. I saw the op and was going to post the Far Side cartoon.
Had mine done like 20 years ago. I went to a proper urologist, went under GA, and had no problems at all - none. Was somewhat uncomfortable for a couple of days but not really in any actual pain, ever.
A couple years later a friend of mine had it done cheap at a clinic, under local. He had one ball the size of a tennis ball for two weeks and could hardly walk or stand for that time. He’s OK now, but you could imagine that if it had gone a little worse, he’d be one ball down now.
So pay up for the best guy, is the moral from this story.
Must admit, I don’t think I’ve ever been “racked” since my balls dropped, so even there I don’t really have a basis for comparison. But thanks for the datapoints, guys
On a pain scale of 1 to 10, it was less than 1.
I had mine done about three months ago. The procedure itself wasn’t too bad. I will say you should not do a whole lot for 2-4 days. I started moving stuff around, not even real heavy stuff, two days later and it hurt after that for awhile.
I will say that I have had some problems. My left side will hurt, and bad, for a day or two every so often. Enough that it sucks to walk and I can’t always have my daughters sit on my lap. I went back to the doctor who did it and he said there was nothing wrong.
I’m glad I did it, but I’m hoping that the pain I get doesn’t come very often, hopefully never again.