Just got snipped last week. Hurts like hell now. Anyone else have fun stories to share to ease my pain? Some of my highlights:
10 mg of valium apparently does nothing to me (it felt like I drank a single beer)
the anaesthetic didn’t really “take” on the second side. Much more ouch, both during the procedure and now
the literature never got out of medical-speak long enough to mention that “scrotal support”=“jock strap”, not merely briefs. (Hell, if they didn’t want to be vulgar, they could have said “athletic supporter”–that’s what the sporting goods store calls it.) So I went around with just my jockeys as “support” for far too many days.
this procedure appears to be a quick way to get a taste of what old age will be like–pain, baggy pants, difficulty walking and standing up, inability to pick up anything above 10lbs., frequent return visits to the urologist
First and foremost… if you have not already done so, go to the frozen food section of your local supermarket and get a few packages of frozen peas. 1) they retain cold well. 2) They form to the area that needs cooling.
My doctor was kind enough to specify either a jockstrap or bikini briefs, he said that my normal (boxers) or even tighty whities was asking for lots more pain.
I took at least three days off to sit on ice packs before even attempting to return to work.
Giving samples afterward (to assure that the surgery was successful and your inate healing ability isn’t more powerful than the doctor’s knife) can be fun if you’ve got help.
The recovery wasn’t all that bad in retrospect, but if you don’t already shave down there, you might consider it rather than going through the itchy hell that is regrowing your short and curlys.
If you haven’t discovered it already, gold bond medicated powder is your friend.
I got mine done a little over 10 years ago. I was having surgery for a hydroseal in my left one, so I had the deed done along with the surgery. I slept through the whole thing and had very little pain afterwards. Also strangely I’ve had nearly zero sex since the operation, my sex drive hasn’t changed but my S.O.s dropped like a rock.
I really wish I could have gotten snipped (20 years) sooner.
Had to window-shop urologists to get one who would snip me (age: 24, unmarried, no kids) but found one.
Had to shave myself, they gave me a kit. Got @#%@ razor burn. Ow ow ow.
Snipping was painless. I had someone pick me up and take me home afterwards, but I felt like I could have walked home. Mild swelling next 3 days. I took it easy, always feeling like I could’ve pushed it. By end of week, could run up stairs skipping steps.
Got one varicocele, makes me lopsided, they said not worth addressing unless painful or hemorrhaging.
Providing fresh ejaculate sample for testing later on was self-consciousness city, man!
Has it been that long since I last related my vasectomy story? I guess so…
My doctor (the esteemed Dr. Marquis de Sade) used his extra rusty and dull butter knife to perform my surgery, all the while keeping up this stupid chatter that made me want to scream “Just shut the fuck up and watch what you’re doing!” Unfortunately, he had my testicles in one hand and an implement of torture in the other, at the time. I wisely kept my mouth shut (I couldn’t have talked through the gritted teeth, anyway).
The anasthetic (I can never spell that) wasn’t working - I was in severe pain and did manage to tell him so several times. “Really, hmmm…it shouldn’t be hurting at all. But, if you say so, I’ll give you some more.” I think I had 6 shots into my nuts (12 total).
After all is said and done, I go home (my ex-mother in law took me to the doctor and had wanted to stop for some shopping on the way home) and after about an hour have a systemic reaction to the stress, the pain, and all the drugs. I’m as sick as a dog and as I shuffle to the toilet to throw up I pass out and hit my head. Now, I’m laying on my bathroom floor, bleeding from a scalp laceration, with my jock stuffed with frozen peas, my nuts aching like they’ve been stepped on my Dumbo’s mother, and my own vomit covering my lap. I don’t think I’ve ever been more miserable in my life.
As I’ve said before - I could have accomplished the same effect with two bricks.
plnnr, Um,…OK…, so youre saying that I should run out and get one? Ive been putting it off for about a year now. I may never go after reading this thread.
I had my lines cut about fourteen years ago. No pain or swelling at all; I was back to normal in a day or two, although I was careful not to lift weighty objects for about a week or so. I never heard about the frozen peas idea, they sent me home with two rubber gloves filled with ice.
It was just slightly ironic that the resident who was observing/assisting the procedure happened to be the same resident who observed/assisted in the delivery of my second (and last!) child.
The only regret I have is that there are so few social occasions where I can show people my scars.
Yeah, the anasthetic didn’t take on the second side for me, either. Good thing it was the second side, because had it been the first, I might have chickened out on finishing it. Never been in such pain in my life.
Oddly, though, I wasn’t bothered much by it afterwards. I could walk out under my own power, and didn’t need the codeine pills at all. I took them just before bedtime just in case (I really hate waking up for any reason in the middle of the night).
