So, it turns out...men really, really like boobs.

[brujaja]

@The_Seventh_Deadly_Finn

Well, I’m a straight guy and I don’t like 'em. Almost all of my girlfriends have had C or above, too, which figures, I guess. My dream woman is A to A-and-a-half.

FWIWWINM, I think a small-breasted figure carries a few extra pounds much more gracefully than a large-breasted one.

Also, though no one asked, I would like to take this opportunity to cast my vote for pubic hair.*

*I mean, not as a condiment or anything… you know what I’m talking about.

I have submitted your name for canonization. Are you single?

[carnivorousplant]

@MOIDALIZE

Appalling lack of pictures in this thread.

Gawd dam right.

[brujaja]

@MOIDALIZE

Appalling lack of pictures in this thread.

Heaven forbid.

[MOIDALIZE]

@brujaja

Heaven forbid.

You look familiar…were you in the Commodore 128 version of Strip Poker?

[DrDeth]

@Lucretia

You know, I wore those things for an hour, max, and the reaction I got actually gave me a real insight into why women get these. The male attention was…rather intense. From professional men, whom I deal with on a professional basis, who know that these were essentiallly water filled balloons.

Perhaps they were just going along with the joke?

[Chronos]

Being asexual I am, fortunately, immune to the breast fetishization which has become so common that it’s accepted as natural.

In addition to the ancient sculptures of nude women archaeologists have found (usually identified as fertility symbols), why do you think big breasts evolved in the first place? An AA cup is plenty for purposes of feeding young, and most of our ape brethren (or rather, sistren) don’t have anything larger than that. All that fatty tissue (and yes, it is mostly fat, and no, that’s not a bad thing) that turns an AA cup into a D is there strictly because men like it, and have continued to like it for a long enough time for evolution to work its mojo.

[Mojo_Pin]

@Chronos

In addition to the ancient sculptures of nude women archaeologists have found (usually identified as fertility symbols), why do you think big breasts evolved in the first place? An AA cup is plenty for purposes of feeding young, and most of our ape brethren (or rather, sistren) don’t have anything larger than that. All that fatty tissue (and yes, it is mostly fat, and no, that’s not a bad thing) that turns an AA cup into a D is there strictly because men like it, and have continued to like it for a long enough time for evolution to work its mojo.

Are you sure? I disagree with the kind of hack evolutionary biology that insists that any feature that exists must have been actively selected for. It might just happen to be.

Just to play the opposing voice, I’d make a couple points: first, the ape breasts claim needs to be backed up. Even if it’s true, it’s not very significant considering apes generally have much less subcutaneous fat than humans do anyway (ever see how ripped a chimp is under all that hair?). Your question “why do you think big breasts evolved in the first place?” is a little misplaced imo. Really big breasts seem to be rarer than small breasts (discounting obese people), and fit ladies have decidedly non-huge breasts.

I’d guess that it’s somewhat reasonable that breasts are more easily variable in size than say the length of an arm or a leg, or the size of a nose. And accordingly, preference for breast size is just as variable. Huge breasts, like tiny breasts, are just a part of human variability, and people culturally tend to obsess over it (America, whoever made those fertility sculptures) or not (some cultures that don’t wear much clothing?). I find large breasts unattractive, and I know enough people who agree with my tastes in more modest sizes to at least raise a question to your theory of a genetic predisposition for big breasts. I’m curious how big breasts really got before agriculture and the obesity epidemic, when humanity spent the longest time evolving.

I realize that this is a leeetle bit heated for MPSIMS, but I wrote it up, I might as well post it…

[Lumpy]

@Der Trihs

I do have this image of a woman walking down the street, there’s a little balloon-deflating wheeeeeee noise and one of her breasts suddenly shrinks.

Well there was the episode or Royal Pains in which socialite “New Parts” Newberg suffered a “flat”.

@carnivorousplant

Well, yes, but the French say they should fit into a white wine glass.

I’d have said a brandy sniffer.

@Quartz

Breasts are good, up to a certain size; brains are better.

Q: What do breasts and brains have in common? A: they’re the obsession of zombies.

[beowulff]

@SmashTheState

It wasn’t until the industrial revolution that the main sexual attractor for men moved from the buttocks to the breasts. It’s no coincidence that the near-universal male obsession with breasts occured at the same time female employment outside the home was causing a dramatic rise in bottle-feeding.

This is the Straight Dope - extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

[carnivorousplant]

@Lumpy

I’d have said a brandy sniffer.

Experiment! Experiment!

[Shodan]

@fisha

Must.not.post.pics.of.boobs.no.matter.how.provoked

provokeprovoke

Regards,
Shodan

[Silvorange]

@Quartz

Breasts are good, up to a certain size; brains are better.

Brains are better for doing what brains do, which does not include bouncing and producing milk. It’s a good thing intelligence and bustiness are not mutually exclusive.

[Chronos]

Your question “why do you think big breasts evolved in the first place?” is a little misplaced imo. Really big breasts seem to be rarer than small breasts (discounting obese people), and fit ladies have decidedly non-huge breasts.

You’re setting the wrong standards for “really big”. I’m not talking about Dolly Parton, here… I’m talking about the natural breasts that almost all human women have. Even most women that we’d consider “flat-chested” still have breasts of a size unheard-of among our closest relatives. By ape standards, Keira Knightly (32A, from what I can Google) has huge boobs.

[DrDeth]

@fisha

Must.not.post.pics.of.boobs.no.matter.how.provoked
.

Here ya go.

Booby

[carnivorousplant]

What a booby I was to follow that link.

[JRDelirious]

@SmashTheState

Being asexual I am, fortunately…

:dubious:
Darn, not the appropriate thread to react to this…

(she says) it’s bad form to play with someone’s boobies and then just leave.

Well, yes, of course. That would be rude. Could lead to a case of blueboobs.

[Mister_Rik]

@cmyk

Sometimes, when I’m bored, or just feeling down, I’ll open up a text window a type this:

( . Y . )

and just stare and stare and stare… and oh how much better I feel.

I’m far from being a “tit man”. I prefer this one:

( | ) ( \ ) ( | ) ( / ) Shake it Baby!

@Jimmy_Joe_Meager

I wonder what the reaction would be to a guy walking around with his crotch stuffed with… you know what I mean. I suspect most guys would notice, perhaps laugh, because we’d know it was a joke. Women, however, I suspect would be a little more… :eek:, then :), then :D, then to their girlfriends, then :smack: the next day.

Here you go (NSFW)

[ElvisL1ves]

The Number 1 site for the 2 things guys love most:

Explosions and Boobs

Just what it says it is.

[Hyperelastic]

@WordMan

I read this thread, and didn’t see this, so think I am the first to post this: one added plot twist - the guys had EBIC: explicit boobie inspection clearance. You were havng fun, it involved your boobs, ergo: men get to look at your boobs and no one can bust 'em for it.

I was scrolling down to see if someone thought of this and lo you have. Not only were they beeeg, they could be stared at openly. And joked about, I’ll bet.

I hate to tell the OP, but spankage probably ensued.

[fisha]

@Shodan

provokeprovoke

Regards,
Shodan

You’ve already seen 'em.

You remember that 'dopefest a couple years back? Long lunch, nice Italian restaurant, a couple of drinks?

Oh…you mean naked. Nevermind, then.