I was talking to him today and he hinted around about the fact that I live alone, and why I live alone, and how I would feel living with someone else, and so on. After a few minutes, I finally got it out of him that he’d really like to move out of his house (he lives with his parents) but he can’t afford his own place right now. I told him I’d think about it. But…
He has a girlfriend. Not actually a problem for me, because I’m not interested in him past friendship anyway. However, she hates me with every fiber of her being. Always has. Why? I’m not really sure, but I’m pretty certain that she thinks of me as a threat to her relationship with this guy. Something tells me that this move would only make things worse. (Well, duh.) He said he’ll talk to her after I give him my answer.
Not to mention the fact that I’ve lived alone for a few years and I’m actually pretty fond of it. Anyway, what do you think?
If you’re used to being alone, having someone there is going to stress you out. The two of you are going to get on each other’s nerves and test your friendship. On top of that, you’ll have to put up with his GF being around. Now do you really want someone who hates you hanging around your place and resenting you for living there cuz that’s where her BF lives too?
While I would NOT recommend you living with this guy, realize this: If he doesn’t live with you, there’s a reasonably good chance he’s going to go live with his girlfriend. If that’s so, you can basically kiss this friendship good-bye.
Would he be willing to help with the rent/bills/groceries? And would he be relatively easy to evict if you did not like having him living with you? If this were me, I would try to think of a really good excuse NOT to let him move in. And the girlfriend thing would scare me too.
Actually, he won’t move in with her. Well, he probably would but he can’t. She, a 16 year old, lives with her parents who, as far as I know, never really liked the idea of her going out with him, an 18 year old. As for losing him as a friend, we’ve gone through it before. It’s not going to happen and he’s made that pretty clear to his girlfriend.
**
That’s just it, though. I don’t have one. Except the fact that I would absolutely hate to be the reason that his girlfriend breaks up with him, should it ever come to that.
I’m pretty sure she’s harmless. The most she’s ever done to me is talk about me behind my back. :rolleyes:
I think the liking to live alone thing is an excellent reason. Then again, I’m an introvert. Having time to one’s self can be very important. Especially when you really want/need it, but can’t have it.
maybe that’s because that’s all she COULD do. Think about it. You haven’t given her a key to your place, right?
Well, by inviting her boyfriend to live with you, it’d be close to that. She’d be in your home, with or without your presence. In your bathroom. your kitchen. your living room.
that would spook me. I mean I can think of SEVERAL nasty things to do to some one I didn’t like if I had access to their house like that, and ** I’m ** pretty nice!
In the past, I’ve had several room mates, after living alone for many years. Cost of living and all that. Most did not work out. Two stole from me, one tried hitting on my girlfriend of the time, one dank too much, one I had to bale out of jail several times, two were real friggin’ slobs and most had trouble paying rent. I only had like two good room mates. I live alone now and like it.
Should I mention trying to divide up the basic chores - like cleaning, dishes, garbage, and mowing the lawn? Not to mention food. I had one guy who seemed to feel that if it was in the fridge, he could eat it. There was another guy who never seemed able to buy enough food so I wound up feeding him. (I mean, I’m eating steak and he’s making noodles and beans because that’s all he has left for the week. I couldn’t stand it. I had to feed him.)
I had a girl live with me for a bit, but her lovers were pain in the a**es. Arguments, drinking my booze, I’d leave my room to use the can and there would be this hairy, nude guy just leaving it and she kept piling up the bathroom trash can with used plugs! Twice I had to throw some drunken dude off of my property because he showed up wanting to hassle her. (I use to think that 3s Company was a cool situation to be in. Not so in real life!)
Nope, don’t do it. It just ain’t worth the hassle. Besides the fact that anyone you would want to date probably wouldn’t understand or like the situation. If it were a matter of needing money, etc. that would be different. But if you’ve lived by yourself for several years it’s obvious that you can make it on your own.
Okay, so I’m supposed to call him back in four hours. (9pm CST) I’m going to say no. I figured that’s what you guys would say anyway, I just needed the reassurance. Thanks guys!
Based on my own personal experiences, I have a bad feeling about this. I had a roommate whose S.O. didn’t like me. I’m straight, but my roomie was a lesbian (and a very dear friend of mine), and her S.O. was a very jealous type, who thought I might make a move on my roomie. Roomie needed a place to stay, and we got along well, so I let her move in, despite my misgivings about the S.O. situation. Things started turning up missing around the apartment. I caught her S.O. digging around in MY bedroom. When I confronted her about it, all hell broke loose, and my friendship with roomie did not survive the fallout. We barely spoke to one another for years. We eventually became friends again, but not CLOSE friends anymore.
It’s better to make your excuses now; just tell him the truth about your feelings on the matter.
