…when I leaned over the sink this morning a boulder fell out of my nose!
…I’m afraid to smile for fear that my face will split in half and fall off my skull!
…the US Forest Service has declared a Red Flag alert for my hair!
…my hands are worse than sandpaper.
…every orifice in my head requires drops of some kind to keep it functional.
…I’m afraid that the pile of firewood in the backyard may ignite itself just out of spite!
I urinated dust.
…I turned in my acne cream for cold cream. True.
Well, frak, guys. Hang in there.
Here in Australia it’s so dry we’re pinning the stamps to the envelopes.
I sat in my hot tub for 20 minutes and when I got out I was completely dry!
Just give us a few months, we’ll be bitching about the rain (well, I won’t, but everyone else will).
Er, possibly this weekend, even.
Anyhow, there has been this special electricity in the air. And I don’t mean that in a good way.
It’s dry? What are you talking about? You mean because it hasn’t rained in a while? It’s not supposed to rain here! Last year was just a freak incident.