Social phobias. Open letter. A quick word to hopefully make me feel a bit better.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I need a word with y’all. I’ve been… out of sorts for a while.

I post things here, and I come across as nuts. A neighbor is nice to me, and my head explodes. I rant about elephants. I post bizarre stuff in dating related threads. Something’s not right. Well, that’s because something’s not entirely right.

For some time, up until around the most recent Christmas, I spent some time being… reclusive. In a way that’s not entirely healthy. It’s not exactly the first time. It comes and goes. This time was different, though. More serious. More self-destructive. Much less fun than before. I’m sort of trying to get back into the world now, but it’s strange. And this time around, it’s baby steps. It’s like my head has been reset to an earlier version, in some ways. I’m working on installing all the upgrades, all over again. Sometimes, the input is confusing, and my output is… well, “syntax error”. One side of it is that small inputs feel overwhelming. It’s like suddenly taking off my ear protection, and realizing that I’m in the middle of a noisy rock concert.

I’m, well, talking to professionals. They’re just saying “social phobias”. Whatever that means. I dunno. Everyone involved seems a bit bemused, for the most part. I’m being poked at a bit. No one is behaving like it’s anything major. Sometimes, I feel perfectly fine. Nothing wrong with me! But then there are times when I feel batshit weird, so there’s clearly something.

I’m not crazy, or dangerous, or anything. But, you know. I post a thread, and it seems weird. Well, it’s partly because, oh yeah, there’s this thing. That I’m not mentioning. So, well, if I am going to be posting, and not get myself banned for random batshittery, I should probably mention it. So, now I’ve mentioned it.

Not that anyone was actually wondering. But I’m been feeling paranoid, too.

So, yeah. I’m not an entirely functional Bigfoot these day. I’m also working on my… socio-economic situation. Which kind of got blown to smithereens, too. It’s an adventure of sorts.

I probably shouldn’t post here at all at the moment. But, well, I’ve been posting here for a long time by now. It’s habit. And it’s tricky not to. If any mods want to put me on enforced probation, though, that’d be understandable, too. Whatever seems best.

2

Well I’m glad to hear your talking to some people, getting probed a titch and opening up to us. We appreciate the heads up and only wish you well.

There are a lot of people on this board who face struggles with different stripes of social anxieties, phobias and numerous other weirdnesses. They still find a way to contribute and I’m sure you can too! So, like, try not to feel too out of place, you’re def not alone!

Just keep talking, don’t go radio silent on us, that’s the worst. We fret. We fuss. We worry. So please take good care of yourself!

You’re moving in all the right directions, so just keep on with it. Wishing you nothing but the best in your very interesting journey! Good Luck!

3

I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time! If your professionals aren’t helping you, get new ones. Sometimes it takes awhile to find a good match. In the meantime, I’m glad you’re posting about your situation. It took a lot of courage. It sounds like you need and want support, but can’t figure out how to get it in your physical life, so you asked here. I think that’s great and hope you will continue to do so. I hope no one’s a jerk, but if they are I have no problem using the report button.

4

Thank you.

I’m taking a break from the boards. The last few days have been… I think “terrifying” is the proper word for it. A few things seem to be a lot less OK than I thought. I need to talk to some people.

But it’ll be fine!

See y’all around.

5

Check back in soon, Bigfoot, even just a word to let us know that you’re OK.

Wishing you peace.
mmm

6

Hang in there. Emotions are cognitions—they don’t exist as tasty little chocolate bonbons, they serve an information-providing purpose. The complex ones are often the backs of our heads sorting stuff out that the fronts of our heads can’t get to via logic and linear thought.

Oh, and take some comfort in the fact that the people you’re talking to about this are actually there.