Because I get exasperated. Then I feel, fuck it, I’ll have one more go and try to get my message across. It’s not that unusual when an adult is talking to a child…
I know you didn’t mean it that way, but this boils down to “get over it”, a phrase which, I think we’ve agreed, isn’t all that helpful.**
Thank you so much for your empathy.**
So you’re saying it’s a glandular problem?**
Which part of this…
…did you not understand?**
Once again, this is excellent advice – but from a psychological viewpoint still boils down to “get over it.”
Let’s have a little quiz. You (the hypothetical “you”) are a grossly overweight person. You go home, strip naked and look at yourself in the mirror. Are you more likely to think:
a) “Golly, I seem to have put on a few pounds! Time to chuck out the Ben & Jerry’s, stock up on carrot sticks and go for a jog”; or
b) “God, look at me. I am a fat, ugly, useless waste of skin. I hate my body and I hate myself.”
If the answer is b) (as it likely is), are you more likely to:
a) Suddenly develop a positive, pro-active attitude and start a diet and exercise regime, giving up what may be the only thing in your life that makes you feel remotely good (comfort food) in return for the possible (but by no means guaranteed, especially if you’ve dieted unsuccessfully before) return of losing weight; or
b) wallow in self-pity, turn to the only thing in your life that makes you feel good (comfort food again), feel guilty about that, feel worse about yourself, and so on and so on.
b) is not an easy cycle to break any more than the negative outlook engendered by depression can be overcome by attempting to think happy thoughts. Some people do break out of it, often with support of their friends and family. Some people don’t have the same sort of support network, thus making it even more difficult. And some people having underlying issues (sexual abuse, to pick an example previously mentioned, or depression) which need to be dealt with first.
You apparently successfully changed whatever behavior was causing your weight problem. Good for you; I mean that. But don’t assume that everyone has the same problems to overcome, nor the same circumstances in which to do it, that you did. And try to understand for one goddamn minute that maybe, just maybe, your nastiness is counterproductive to their attempts to do so. What you should be encouraging people to do is to explore why they do what they do rather than haranguing them for doing it.**
I know the feeling.
This is the whole fucking reason that these people (and remember I used to be one) have these problems.
This "in many cases there is a psychological component. Some people do simply have a lifestyle involving poor eating choices and little exercise, true, but often there’s issues of poor self-esteem (and, yes, depression) involved which need to be resolved before the physical issues can be effectively addressed… is just bullshit.
These deep psychological issues do NOT have to be solved before the whole eating issues gets tackled. That’s just postponement bullshit. Don’t put if off, just fucking diet and excercise. Figure it out while you’re moving. You don’t have to be eating to be thinking.
What you are experiencing, and what i sxperienced is the whole “nanny-world” thing. Awww, poor Tarantula, he’s a fattie, but it’s not his fault. * Of course it’s my fault* !!! I’m the one putting the shit in my mouth, am I not ???
Even if (once again) you discover that it is all related to some earlier trauma, so what ??? Your making yourself die. Suck it up and change. If this sounds a lot like “get over it”, with regards to the over-eating, it is “get over it”. It’s not that I’m heartless, it’s just that you’re gonna fucking die, if you don’t.
I’m very disappointed to learn that I was being dishonest. I had been genuinely happy that I’d found a method of weight loss that seemed to be working for me, and I was very pleased about the 57 pounds I thought I had lost. But, if I’m just a dishonest fuck like the rest of them, I suppose this is all an illusion and the next time I look in the mirror I’ll realize I’m just as much of a “lard-arse” as I ever was:rolleyes:
Yeah, what were you thinking! You will never be the “homest person in the fuck room” with that attitude. 
quote:
Originally posted by Mockingbird
How about : If you don’t know them and they have done nothing to bother you: LEAVE THEM ALONE.
[then I posted]
“and they have done nothing to bother you” LOL, talk about an exception that swallows the rule. Not quite Kant’s catagorical impairitive you have crafted there.
Your qualification is entirely subjective, thus for some Posters it would seem to encompass 90% of the world’s population who “bother” them. If your looking for a well thought out standard- stick with Kant.
Cite: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=bother
both·er ( P ) Pronunciation Key (bthr)
v. both·ered, both·er·ing, both·ers
v. tr.
To disturb or anger, especially by minor irritations; annoy. See Synonyms at annoy.
To make agitated or nervous; fluster.
To make confused or perplexed; puzzle.
To intrude on without invitation or warrant; disturb.
To give trouble to: a back condition that bothers her constantly.
v. intr.
To take the trouble; concern oneself.
To cause trouble.
n.
A cause or state of disturbance.
interj.
Used to express annoyance or mild irritation.
[Probably from dialectal bodder, possibly of Celtic origin.]
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Understand now?
I thought I had addressed this before, but I am unable to find it. The example that you chose holds such irony. You see, imbalances in serotonin also affect the body’s metabolism.
Here are just some of the factors that affect metabolism. Some are quite common. I have had all of these:
- Serotonin imbalance
- estrogen intake – Any woman taking birth control pills or hormone replacement therapy is more likely to gain weight.
- polycystic ovarian syndrome
- thyroid problems
- aging
Sure it does! Medication for serotonin imbalance, a change in estrogen intake, surgery for polycystic syndrome and medication for thyroid problems can all make a difference!
I agree with you that we have to take responsibility for taking care of our bodies, eating nutritiously and getting excerise. But one step that you have not addressed is educate yourself on the causes of your own problems with weight. Each person is different!
Clinical depression doesn’t work that way. In fact, some people with depression lose weight. (A change in weight is one of the symptoms.) Yet they still have depression. (BTW – I understand why some people can’t drag themselves out of bed when they have clinical depression. Changes in sleeping patterns is also a symptom.)
Do you think it’s possible that you may need to listen to other people’s messages too? I am 60. Hold old are you?
Tarantula, we get it. You’ve lost weight. Good for you. You are a beacon to us all. You are proud of yourself, as well you should be.
But do you have to be such a sanctimonious fuck about it? You have all the charm of an ex-smoker.
And you never answered my question – what is all the blind rage about? I can understand feeling a bit frustrated. But your reactions are way out of proportion. My best guess is that you still harbor some self-loathing towards your former self, and now you are projecting that onto anyone that reminds you of your former self.
And that is not cool.
I am an ex-smoker. Problems with written self-expression notwithstanding, I cannot write any more about this, without repeating myself (yet again).
:sigh: Each to his own.
“I am but one man, and as such cannot battle against the world. May person around me know the fight I tried to fight.”
“may *each[i/] person…”
It’s possible to inform people of your fight without judging them. You could have stated that you lost weight without calling the rest of the world lazy. You could choose to be proud of yourself without loathing others. It is possible to build yourself up without tearing down others.
Why do you instead choose to be a miserable shit?
Did I shift the blame to someone else? Did I say people shouldn’t take responsibility for resolving their own problems? Did I say someone else should make fat people diet and exercise? I don’t remember saying any of that. I simply said that the obvious problem (bad eating habits) may not be the main one, as did other people. You obviously don’t want to hear it. And your “Just Say No” approach is thus likely to be about as effective as Nancy Reagan’s was.
Coco, you just keep the chuckles coming.
Listen, I can be a bit obtuse sometimes, so put me out of my misery. Has this just been a whole routine for comedy effect, or are you really so blind to the breathtaking hypocricy of your statements in this thread, such as the above?
I mean if I’ve been whooshed then good work, it was a great bit of humour. If though you just said “each to his own” with a straight face after this OP, as well as your thread on “skinny knackers” then congratulations my man, your unconscious ability for irony is impressive.
It was perfectly effective for me. Why ? Because in this life you sometimes have to suck it up. One of those time is when you’re staring down the business end of a heart-attack. Fine - keep argueing about “the main problem”. You’ll find out soon enough what “the main problem” is when you have a fucking C.A. !!
In short - sometimes cutting through the nicely-nicely works. Some stranger did it for me on Stephens Green. Though maybe I could do the same for you. No ? Well at least I tried…
And those are some of the people for whom “eat more calories than you burn” do not apply.
Yet you keep coming back to it.
Not only that, the two can be related through certain antipsychotic medications. Lithium, for example.
Earlier, didn’t you say it was a good thing to call a spade a spade? Then don’t try to dress up your rude and obnoxious behavior as being “helpful.” It ain’t flying.
:smack:
How’d I miss that “more”? Should be “fewer” of course.
The scene: the village green
The cast: Tarantula and Roma Downey, from Touched by an Angel
RD (glowing): God loves you, you fat fucker. You’re so fat you could empty a McDonald’s in three seconds flat. Is that your belly or an apron? Heart Attack City comin’ through! Moooo-moooo!
Tarantula: Oh, my God! I see the Light now! I’ll never eat french fries again!
Mental illness is not a choice, but neither is a glandular problem. It’s a lot less simpler than you make it out to be.**
[/quote]
Not only that, the two can be related through certain antipsychotic medications. Lithium, for example. **
[/QUOTE]
If you’re going to arguw that all obese people are on Lithium, you can fuck off now, so we don’t waste our time.
And tnd Calling a “spade a spade” is useful. Jeez…
Which shows YOUR ignorance yet again tarantula.
Eating, especially “comfort” foods raises seratonin levels. Hence the term “self-medicate”.
You seem to be missing the point of the OP anyway, which was that (though rather rudely asked) the OP wanted to know “WHY” this person, and others like her didn’t “Do something about it already”.
We’ve answered you thoroughly, complete with links and the testamony from not only people who do know what they’re talking about, but from several people who personally suffer from:
1.) a rare disease
2.) emotional issues
etc
And yet you still keep going back to the simplistic and useless mantra of “eat less, exercise more”. As if it were the holy grail of information, and NOW now that you (oh great sharer of previously hidden information), have shared this with the masses…
Well, heck, in your words “it’s simple”.
But wait, then you came along and said “it’s not a question of it being hard”.
Again, if it WERE actually simple, and it WEREN’T a question of it being hard, millions of dollars a year would not be going to the diet/weight loss industry, and over 50% of Americans would NOT be fat.
IF, that is, that it were really “simple” as you claim.
The proof that it’s not is all around us.
Do I say this to mean “oh, well if it’s hard, then no one should try”?
HELL NO. It means that a hell of a lot more education and assistance needs to go to those who’ve tried and failed so many times.
And if, and until they WANT to lose it (for again, the point of the OP is WHY don’t they lose it, and after all some people have reached the point where they are happy with themSELVES and their weight is secondary), so WHAT?
It doesn’t hurt anyone else if they ARE fat.
I don’t particularly find cadaverously skinny people attractive either, but even as a fitness instructor, I don’t go around telling scrawny little people “Oh, you need to work out!!! Lift a weight dude!!! Oh, it’s SIMPLE for you skinny people, you simply triple your caloric intake and lift massive quantities of weights, oh yeah, and try sleeping a little too”.
Overly skinny people are just as unattractive (imo) as fat people are to others, but no one has the right to tell them THEY have to change so that no one has to look at them or whatever.