My son Jack’s girlfriend (they’re both 17) will be spending the holidays with me (as well as with my ex-husband down the block). I love this girl and have no problem having her with me. I’m upset at the reason she’ll be staying with us.
Thank goodness I got a holiday bonus and that my older children are willing to do with less this year so that we can do what we can for her. I gave her shopping cash when I gave cash to my son and I’m filling her stocking, but she won’t have the greatest holiday.
Why?
Her mother is going to Texas on the 23rd and returning on the 27th or later.
For a job?
To see ailing family members?
No.
To see a guy.
She’s leaving her precious child with me over the holidays so that she can be with a man. She offered me the use of her car while she’s on vacation. I declined.
Yesterday, she was supposed to take her daughter shopping.
“Nadine” waited ALL DAY for her to show - she came at 8:30 last night and took “Nadine” with her to get some “wings”. I learned that they would be meeting a guy who would be buying the wings. I almost asked her to leave “Nadine” with me but she’s her child and I hoped they might make it to a mall or something for a treat for “Nadine”.
She dropped her precious baby off after 11 and that’s that. No gifts, no money - nothing to make her holiday nice.
I let "Nadine"and Jack do all the decorating and “Nadine” told me that this has been her happiest Christmas ever.
It is sad. These are the events that make us who we are. I don’t understand how parents can’t understand this. The same events shaped who they became and how they acted.
I’d say it was appalling, but I’m sure there are even worse mothers.
In any case, you are to be congratulated for giving the poor girl a real Christmas and to show her that not all parents are self-centered idiots. On the bright side, she is going to remember you very fondly, no matter how things end up with her and your son.
Some mothers shouldn’t have children? If they didn’t have children, they wouldn’t be mothers, now would they?
HA! Try to out-logic me!
But seriously, I’m sure that this will work out fine. Relationships in which the woman travels halfway across the country to spend a major holiday with the man of her Internet dreams often work out for her, both romantically and financially. Let us know when to tune in to Judge Judy.
Nadine may not be the only one who has the best christmas ever in your household.
You’ve done a kind thing, not only taking her in, but making sure that she has presents and fun and a real christmas just like your own kids.
So very many people would have made excuses as to why they “couldn’t manage” any one of those things.
You’ve shown your kids and “Nadine” what christmas really should mean.
All in all, it’s Nadine’s “mom” that’s going to lose out, because she doesn’t get what it means to be a family, and quite likely she never will. Whether or not Nadine and Jack are meant to spend the rest of their lives together, I bet Nadine will always remember her christmas with you all, and have a fond place in her heart for your family.
My parents took in one of my friends for awhile at about that age. He had two parents, still married to each other and living in the same house… but his parents were so wrapped up in their own problems that they went days without ever speaking to or even noticing their only child. I know my parents contacted his, and told them where he was, but I honestly don’t think it really ever registered with them, or that they would have noticed he wasn’t around.
My friend is now a grown man and married with a family of his own. But he still loves my parents, stops by to see them from time to time, and if at any time any member of my family needed his help, he’d be there in a instant. He’s never forgotten - and I’ve never forgotten either… the night they took him in, and the time he stayed with us. It was my first realization of my parents as people, outside of their role as my parents and that my parents were good people - people I wanted to be like. I was still a teenager, and I still argued with and defied my parents… but after that night I never ever once thought “I hate them” or “they are mean/evil/punishing me for fun”.
Thank you for taking her in. This is likely to be the best Christmas she’s ever had. It’s going to be a special one for you and your family, for sure. Enjoy it… It’s going to be full of “firsts”, for everyone. The little things are going to go a long way.
There’s something wrong with Nadine’s mom (possibly just pathological selfishness). I completely agree with the title of the thread - she shouldn’t have had kids. Maybe she figures that at 17, Nadine is old enough to be on her own for a couple of days (and she is), but not at Christmas, for God’s sake! Good for you and your family for taking her in, jali.
This is likely to be the best Christmas she’s ever had. It’s going to be a special one for you and your family, for sure. Enjoy it… It’s going to be full of “firsts”, for everyone. The little things are going to go a long way.