it’s highly improbable that i’d be in a room without some form of weapon (well, maybe the bathroom), but i pity any burgular that would try to break in via the bedroom, where i spend most of my time… (on the *computer, you pervs )
lets see, in the bedroom i’d have a choice of the following implements of self-defense;
6-D Maglite
3-D Maglite
Spyderco Chinook
Spyderco Harpy
Spyderco Native
Spyderco Dodo SE and PE
Taurus 689 .357 Magnum
Mossberg Model 500 12-gauge
Parker VH grade 12-gauge side-by-side
Well, if I was in my bedroom and heard them come in from the front or side door downstairs, I’d go for the throwing method: I’d have to get past them to get out and I’ve got any number of things within arms reach (eg, big ol’ case of floppies, empty drinking glass, a handful of rocks [on my desk, don’t ask]).
If I were downstairs, I’d run like hell. Nine years of martial arts training and I might stand a chance if he was unarmed, but I know from those nine years that the best way to survive a real honest-to-god fight is to not get in one.
We be out at 40th and Plum.
911 is a waste of time, too far out … takes forever …
No neighbors to hear…
Guns and knives and clubs and much ‘tude’ inhabit the place…
We practice … < veg > With live amo … Ain’t afraid to make a mess in the house…
The rottweiler/german shepherd would make a ton of noise and pit/lab would go into attack mode. The pit/lab is a really sweet dog once you’re introduced, but until then, watch out.
Course if I wanted to do some serious damage I’d release the blue-front amazon parrot on him.
There is a significant chance that I’d freeze, but I’ve surprised myself before in crisis situations, so provided my brain is still functioning I’d probably grab my walking cane and start swinging at his face.
Yes, that would make a very good weapon: he (she?) is loud, distracting and will hang on with that bone-crushing beak until he/she is good and ready to let go.
If he didn’t have any weapons, I’d most likely jump him. I’m a big guy, stronger than many, and large enough that I’d knock most people straight on their asses if I grabbed them and fell forward. I’m used to standing up when I get jumped anyway – I used to work with a guy whose idea of entertainment was running down the hallway and jumping me from behind. He was about 6’ and 180lbs, and he never managed to knock me over. I’m also surprisingly mobile for someone my size, so I’d not be overly concerned.
If said psycho did have a weapon, I’d try my best to get away – bedroom window, front door, whatever – but if I couldn’t, back to step one.
I have never had to test this, and I hope never to have to.
For this to be at all interesting we’d have to assume that my dog (a protective and loud lab/chow mix) is off somewhere. She wouldn’t let a pizza delivery guy or a mailman get off without serious barking and possibly chompage, let alone a more combative intruder.
So. She’s gone, I’m in the kitchen and some guy’s broken through the window and is headed straight toward me. I startle very easily - I’d probably scream like a girl and back away as quickly as I could. If I already had something weapon-like in my hand I may try to swing it at him ineffectively, but I can’t imagine I’d try to do much else but head to the foyer as fast as I could to get outside and find help.
I guess it’d be more interesting with the dog. Once, when she was still living with my girlfriend’s parents, she got loose as the mailman brought something to the door. She was caught before she tried anything, but she got some snarling quality-time in with the poor guy. His frightened yelp and “oh … god …” still give me the creeps. No - any intruder would have to deal with her before he got to me, and I’m okay with that.
The intruder would breifly ponder what the quiet click, click, click, click, click sound was right before his skull was caved in by a D-Link 604 swung by five 3 foot pieces of CAT-5 plugged into its sockets.
How was that for a packet collision motherfucker…you stay right there while I go get a monitor.
I’m pretty careful—I lock my car doors while driving and don’t have the windows down when not in motion. I had a guy try to get in on the driver’s side at a stoplight years ago. My doors were locked then and it still scared me badly, so lesson learned and confirmed.
I lock my doors and security screens when home. That intruder would have to be pretty strong and pretty psycho to get in the house. I hope I wouldn’t freeze up and would flee out the back door. It’s a long, straight shot from front door to back door; I bet I could be out even if frozen in surprise for a second.
I was single for years and I’ve had my share of overzealous dates when I lived alone. I’m not averse to causing a scene to keep myself safe. So if forced to engage hand to hand with a psycho, I would scream and bite and gouge. I like my life and mean to keep on living it.
Here’s what happened to me last night. It’s 10:30 PM and I’m dozing off at the PC. There’s a sharp “RAP RAP RAP” on the door and I instantly snap to being awake, but still quite disoriented and groggy.
I’m in a semi-panic because the only thing I can think (and not all cylinders are firing in this groggy state) is that something has happened to one of my kids (they live with their mother) or there is some other dire emergency. I’m half awake stumbling to the door shouting “I’m coming I’m coming”. I’m 20 feet from the door when it is opened, and there are two college kids standing there asking if their friend, a girl with red hair, is in the house, in a semi-accusing tone . I say “No!” irritatedly and they turn from the door.
Now here’s the interesting part. I’m so groggy it doesn’t strike me until they turn to leave that these little shits OPENED MY FUCKING DOOR at 10:30 at night. ( i generally lock it just before I go to bed). By the time I’ve got the presence of mind to be outraged they’re getting in their car to leave. There wee numerous college parties on my block last night so I imagine their pal was at one of them.
Before that happened I would have had all sorts of fancy baseball bat kung fu I might fantasize about doing to intruders, and frankly I don’t worry much about intruders because of my size (which is one of the reason I don’t usually worry about locking the door while I’m in the house), but that incident was wake up call. If you’re woken out of a sound snooze your judgement & reactions are not anywhere near optimum. I mean here I am in my house and these little bastards OPEN MY DOOR and put me on the defensive when I should have been bellowing at them for daring to open my door. It still rankles me, but it goes to show you you can’t always count on what your reactions will be in a perceived emergency.
The one time I was in a similar situation, I fought back. It was 1999 outside of my apartment two guys, 19 and 20, tried an attempted armed robbery by grabbing me from behind. I punched and kicked and it was only at the last second that I realized that they both had knives so I hit the shorter one in the face as hard as I could and started running. I was in good shape at the time and knew I could outrun them. I ran around the building to little known entrance and was on the phone with 911 within two minutes.
The guys went one to do 3 more (successful) armed robberies in the next hour before they were caught. Turns out they had gotten out of prison two months earlier for multiple violent crimes including stabbing and hitting a delivery man over the head with a pipe to rob him causing permanent brain damage. The odd thing was that the police knew exactly who I was talking about (this is in the city of Boston) and were waiting for something like this to happen. The arresting officer was the largest white man I have ever seen in my life and said he had to open fire on them the last time so the cooperated in this arrest.
I picked them out of a line-up that night and that case followed me for a few years. The police visited me a few times to review hooded sweatshirts and scarfes they threw in a dumpster.
One of them plead and got three years starting right away. I later moved 40 miles away and I was working in the yard 3 years later when a Private Investigator showed up. He worked for the defense and wanted to know if I could identify them again. I did easily. Then I had to go meet with the Boston DA twice about testifying and I finally got a call that the second one plead to 5 years. He will be getting out next year.
That makes me the 4th person in my family to have a violent felony attempted against the. Daddy got kidnapped for 12 hours by a man that hid in the back seat of his car in Shreveport, LA then attempted murder and he fought and broke away. The purpetrator got life. Grandpa on my mother’s side got duct taped and help hostage with his the-wife. They took everything but he was Ok after he broke out of his binds 10 hours later. Grandma mentioned above was held hostage and talked the guy to sleep. Little brother was attacked at a truck stop on a rural stretch of highway on 1-10 in Louisiana. He insists that he jabbed the guys eye out with his keys and there was plenty of blood on them but the emergency rooms could not locate anyone with that type of injury.
I belive you have to use your best judgment but it is usually best to fight or break away and hall tail.
It would make a great weapon. You’d think it breaks easily if you’d miss, but it doesn’t. I smashed my previous bass on purpose, and it took a good while.
Besides, it would be so unexpected that you’d have the psychological advantage.
That’s not a bad idea if you’re familiar with the use of an escrima stick. If you do use a full sized bat, I would suggest holding it not like you were swinging at a ball, but like a sword - right hand high on the grip, left hand low (reverse if you’re left handed). Turn your wrists together so they line up vertically. When you strike, push your top hand forward and pull your bottom hand back, and also get your hips and sholders into the movement. You’ll lose a bit of reach and power compared to a batter’s stance, but you’ll gain much more speed and control which is what you need.
The groin is a good target if you can hit it square, but the problem is that it’s really not an easy target because the legs are in the way, and most guys will instinctively protect it. If you have a blunt weapon like a bat or bass guitar (which you’d want to use edgewise), aim for the side of the knee, ankle, elbow, or jaw below the ear.
To answer this, try a different approach to the question…
If you were a psycho breaking into someones home, prepared for any physical resistance you may meet, what would shake you off your course?
If a guy breaks into your house, chances are he’s anticipated any phsyical confrontation he may meet, so any tall tales of “I’ll kick his ass” probably wont cut it. You will have to do something to startle, shock and confuse him, so he realises that his plans gone to shit and it probably isnt worht the bother to stick around.
he is human, after all, so whatever would shock and confuse you will also work for him. So, if he startled you with a loud noise, a loud noise will startle him. My suggestion is to go ape shit screaming and roaring, flap your arms in a thretening baboon-style and mabe pick up a vase or something and throw it through a window. Just go mental. he will probably be fairly startled, perplexed and confused, realise that this isnt worth the bother, and bugger off. And anything you break trying this method will be covered by your home insurance anyway.
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