Somebody dump somebody and LEAVE ME ALONE!

The BBQ Pit
1

I have two friends. They have dated for TWO FREAKING YEARS.

Same old crap.

HER: “He doesn’t pay enough attention to me or make me a priorty, but I love him. What do I do?”

HIM: “She’s so demdaing of my time and attention, but I love her. What do I do?”

She throws a fit about every two-three months regarding this until he pays attention to her just enough that she stops her fit, for another two-three months.

YOU ARE NOT COMPATIBLE! You are both miserable a hefty percentage of the time.

I’m tired of being “the friend in the middle” and listening to your pathetic stories and rants about each other behind your SO’s back. I have already told both of you that I think you are incompatible. SOMEBODY DUMP SOMEBODY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

2

BTW, any advice would be helpful here…

3

I’d advise taking the one you’re better friends with, sitting him or her down and saying, “Look, you and <the other person> just don’t work. And if you keep making me the one in the middle, I’m just going to take myself out of it entirely. I can’t handle it anymore, and I like you both, and I want to be your friend, but I can’t deal with it.”

Then tell the other one, so he or she doesn’t think you’re just trying to break them up for whatever reason.

I’ve had this one done to me, and it really helped us all. We’re all still friends.

4

  1. Print up an edited version of the OP on a two-inch column using a font that looks like the local paper’s. Photocopy it (and scrawl “Dear Abby” across the top in handwriting unlike your own), and mail it to each of them, anonymously. Let them work it out.

  2. Introduce each of them to somebody new.

  3. Move away with no forwarding address and don’t come back until you’ve heard they have broken up or gotten married.

  4. The next time either of them starts, ask “Will this rant be different than the rant from 1/21/02, 10/23/01, 7/27/01, 4/28/01, etc.?”

5

Sorry to hear your situation, but IMHO, the only way to help this situation is, most likely, to sit each other down and tell them, “You guys seem to fight constantly, and you’re putting me in the middle. From now on, I cannot and will not participate. I want to continue being both of your friends (assuming you do), and the only way to do this is that I don’t listen you two ranting about each other to me.” the unfortunate likelihood is that they will be less friends with you for your trouble. If you want them as the friends they are now, grin and bear it. There’s nothing you can do that won’t look and feel like jealousy or covetousness.

It sounds like you’ve figured out that telling them to break up will only unite them - against you. I don’t recommend the “You two are incompatible” speech, but only because love (or whatever this is) knows no logic, and they will either not take your advice “because you just don’t understand their love,” or they will resent you. good luck

6

You want somebody to dump somebody?!? Why, you asked at just the right time! :rolleyes: I recommend you read this thread… now, that having been said, I will now leave you alone. :smiley:

Seriously though, that really sucks when you’re constantly being put in the middle like that between two friends. All I can do is echo the advice of those who have come before me. Best of luck! :slight_smile: