Depends what you mean by “a bunch”. A couple of pistols and a few magazines (which can hold up to 30 rounds each) would fit comfortably in a backpack, along with extra clothes, etc.
That noted, it only takes one gun (and round of ammo) to kill you. The same can be accomplished with a knife, most hand tools, a shoestring, a brick, a rock, a baseball bat, or even bare hands.
On the up side, the guy is nuts, currently confined, and over 700 miles away. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. If you’re not comfortable with owning a gun, get yourself some pepper spray (if legal in your area), or even wasp & hornet spray, which is almost as effective, and keep a can by your door, another by your bed, maybe one in the car and/or in your desk at the office.
Yes, these are good ideas. I can get a picture of him, there are fairly recent ones on the sex offenders sites for his state. The question is, should I or should I not stir up that kind of drama at work? At this point, I’m considering talking to my direct manager and our branch manager and see what they think. I’m hesitant to do that, though, due to the odds being so low that this guy actually does anything. I think I’m going to have to sleep on it, because I just can’t decide what the right thing to do is.
I’m thinking you should see if you can get a picture of him. Pass it around, send to security, etc…
Can’t you see if you can have charges filed against him?
It might sound odd, but I’m not as worried about myself. I figure if someone wants to get me, they will. I’m more worried about something happening at my work. I tend to give out my work address to keep my personal address away from my family that I stay away from. I’m afraid now that will bite me in the ass because I feel like I’ve inadvertently exposed people to danger. I think that’s why I was thinking a “bunch” of guns.
We put the wasp spray on the shopping list, hubby read about it somewhere on the internet, we just never bothered with it before. We’re also considering getting a shotgun. We live in a secluded area and it really might not be a bad idea. We’ll have to get some kind of training. We don’t know the first thing about guns.
But overall, I need to be mindful that the odds are small. He is 700 miles away. He’s broke and homeless. And just because he feels like killing me doesn’t mean he will.
I knew putting this out there for you all was a good idea. Your thoughts are helping me see things from a different angle, and as I type my replies things are occurring to me that didn’t before.
For sure get the hospital to notify you when he’s released if possible. Then at least you’ll know you don’t have to worry until then. I do think you should let people at work know though. I had an episode at work with someone else’s drama that would have been a lot easier to deal with if we’d been forewarned.
The attorney is closer so he’ll kill him first. Call the attorney and make arrangements for him to call you every morning. The day he doesn’t call, watch out!
To be serious, in addition to getting a recent photograph, can the police department that called you send written documentation that they have warned you of a credible threat against you? If it did come down to a situation were you had to use self defense, such documentation would be useful to demonstrate that you had a reasonable fear for your life.
I’m not one of those OMG FACEBOOK SCARY type people, but given what’s going on, if I were in your shoes I would have you and your daughter lock down your facebook pages that all non-friends can see is your (current) name and current profile picture and change the setting (at least for the next few months) so that people can’t search for you. New friends will still be able to find your daughter (I think) by searching through other friends but a random stranger shouldn’t be able to type her name into the search bar.
Also, you should both change the setting so you can’t get messages from people that aren’t friends. If he does try to contact either of you that way, it’ll avoid getting you worked up and since he can’t send it, hopefully he’ll blow off the steam composing it and then wander away from the computer.
If you’re feeling paranoid, you might also make some of your relatives aware that’s he’s making noise again and that if he contacts any of them they shouldn’t give out your phone number/address/new last name/email address etc. The best response is probably “I don’t know, I haven’t talked to her in a few months”. It’s better then “no” because he doesn’t think you’re hiding anything, you’re saying “this is what I know, no matter what you say, I don’t have anything else to give you”. It’ not true, but people are less likely to argue with it.
Lastly, I might call the PD that started this and talk to them myself. Just to hear the tone in their voice. I know what they have to say, but sometimes the tone is what tells you what you need to know. Does it sound like they’re saying ‘don’t worry, he does this all the time’ or do they sound serious? You might even be able to get the attorney’s name and talk to him.
According to all the movies I’ve seen, your first response should be to take a shower and wait for the police to tell you “THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!”
Now that I have that off my chest - has your cousin had any contact with her (presumably) ex-husband? Has she gotten any threats? I assume the hospitalization is for psychological reasons. The police already know about it, which is a good thing. I would be cautious rather than paranoid, and you already have loud dogs, which is an excellent alarm system.
I second The Gift of Fear, and, if he contacts you in any way, do not respond. Tell the police, tell your neighbors, but do not respond to him.
Credible? Pffft. Why not tie a can to your tail & yell “Aunty Em! Aunty Em!”? I’ve had my share of stalkers and they all have one thing in common: They’re Gutless.
I mean if you want to change your whole way of life & live the rest of it smelling like gun-oil and firecrackers, that’s on you. When the neighbors know to question strange cars and the cops are aware and regularly run plates of people going in & out of your neighborhood and corp security have a pictures of the stalkers and cameras on the building roof, then maybe you should get on living your life? People know, the Cops know, and if there’s any proof of them coming to your state or weirdly showing up
near you at a mall or a concert, the evidince will be over-whelming. If anything gets tried, I don’t care if they have enough money to have Dershowitz and Allred taking turns felatiating and rimming the judge: Jail/Insane Asylum, No Saving Throw.
Glad they don’t have kids; nothing shows unfit-to-parent like stalking someone in person over state lines. Wish we had a DYFS person here to explain just how fast they’d lose their kids doing that.
If they come to you to come at you, ok, but when planning battle between you and your stalker thats 800 miles away, Of What One Thing must you be sure?
I wouldn’t underestimate him. He has nothing left to lose, and nothing else to focus on. No job, no home, no money. Once he gets out of the hospital his mind will run back to the same old tracks it has always run down.
I would say the chances are low that he actually does anything, but if he does, it will be devastating. It will only take one dose of the wrong street drug to spur him to actions he wouldn’t normally take. When a person is homeless and desperate, drugs generally follow. And once the drugs come into the picture, any predictability based on past actions (or lack of action in this case) flies out the window.
IMHO you have a responsibility to let your neighbors and the receptionist/security at work know what’s happening. You don’t need to tell them the whole story, just that in the far past you helped put a criminal in prison, and now he is out,and the mental hospital has warned you that he’s making threats. Provide them with a name and photograph so that they can thwart him if needed.
Be sure your Op-sec is good. Do you automatically lock your car when you get out of it? Do you walk a little farther in the parking lot if it means you’ll be following a lighted path? Is every door in the house locked before you sleep at night? These habits tend to fall off when living in the country, but it’s time to re-invigorate them.
kayT, They are going to notify me of his release. That’s a good thing, as it gives me some time to sort through this.
Dag, Let him go after the attorney first! :eek: After what he put my daughter and myself through on the stand, I have nothing but disgust for him. Hubby points out that everyone is entitled to legal representation, even child molesters; and in my head I know that to be true. In my heart it makes me ill that he defended this molester like that. I have zero concern for his safety.
I do take comfort that both the local and the out-of-state LE know about the threat.
Ok, Facebook settings. Most excellent point. I will do that right away. I have two pages, one personal, one work related. My personal is locked down because I try to stay out of my family’s line of fire. It’s not that I hide, per se, as much as I don’t advertise, you know what I mean? But I don’t believe I’ve been as careful with my work one and I appreciate the reminder.
I only talk to a couple of relatives, and unfortunately, I have to be very guarded with them, too. While I don’t believe they would purposely give my work address, I would assume they have given my general location. I know it sounds odd, but if that side of the family were to catch wind of this, I’m afraid they’d egg him on… just to cause trouble for me. Taking this to court has not been forgiven.
I did talk to the out of state police department. I really couldn’t tell much by tone. Apparently, neither could the local cop because he repeated what the first officer said almost word for word. They can’t tell me to worry, they can’t tell me to not worry. And they don’t think he has the means to get here.
The original cop and I did kind of laugh at the time it took to track me… I’ve had several addresses and a couple of names since then.
I will keep this in mind. As of right now, I hesitate to bring the court into this. Not saying I won’t, but it’s pretty difficult to file that kind of thing and keep one’s location private at the same time. I will put more thought into this, though.
Ok, the shower thing cracked me up!
I don’t speak to that cousin anymore. And yes, the hospitalization is for psychological reasons. I agree with the rest of your post. Especially the “cautious rather than paranoid”, and not responding if he contacts me. Thank you for the prayers for my safety, I appreciate that.
