We married at the courthouse without telling anyone. We had no money: zero. It was a stretch to pay come up with the $100 for the fees and the rings. We needed to get married right then so that I would have insurance. If anyone was hurt that we didn’t put a couple thousand bucks–and that’s for a pretty crappy wedding–on a credit card and pay it off one minimum payment at a time over the next couple years until we graduated, they can go screw themselves.
But as far as I know, no one was hurt. My family is very openminded, and my friends know me: I am not the type.
I would not care at all. The only thing I like about weddings is the liquor. It’d take longer for me to grok that they’re married and think of them as spouses instead of partners, but I’d get over it.
I’ll take one of those chocolate souffles from your other thread, please.
I think there’s more focus in America on weddings and not enough focus on being married. Personally, I have no real use for ceremonies, so weddings are largely superfluous.
Having gone through this tortuous event once, and now winding down said tortuous event (as in throws of divorce): weddings suck.
Everything about weddings suck. I don’t want to go to yours. I hated mine for a billion reasons, and half end in divorce anyway. I haven’t been to a wedding in a few years and would be glad if they were outlawed.
It’s an expensive outdated fairy princess ceremony from days of yore. Get the legal certificate from city hall if you want. I don’t care to attend. I’m dreading the next wedding I have to go to.
Skald, I gotta change my vote. I voted that I’d be upset (thinking if my son did it, I’d be really upset). But then thinking MORE about it, if that’s what he needed to do for whatever reason, then you know what? What makes him happy is important, not my reaction. So change me to “I’d be cool with it.”
Well I know you can’t REALLY change it (or can you? I’ve never done a poll so I don’t know.) but I’m in the I’d be ok with it camp.
If my brother eloped, I’d congratulate him and send a gift. I really wouldn’t care. Knowing how he is, it’ll be a shock if he ever even marries; I’ve never once expected any kind of traditional wedding. That’s just not him.
At my last cousin’s wedding, my mom expressed her thoughts to me that she cannot imagine anything worse than having to be involved in planning such a thing and we should both feel free to elope. I don’t think it would cause much drama.
The plot of Brewster’s Millions would’ve gone by much faster if he had an expensive wedding. Married a Kardashian or something. It would be harder to convince the guests and wife that no presents means no presents.
I’d be fine with whatever my loved one decided, whether that was to elope or to have a wedding. Least Original User Name Ever and I eloped. Everyone thought it was great, except his mom. Surprisingly, she stopped making references to it within the first year. I thought we were going to have to deal with the fallout until one of us died. My mom and grandma both encouraged me to elope, although I’d already made the decision by the time we discussed the topic. My mother-in-law thinks that my mom was okay with it because my brother isn’t married, so my mom still has a chance for a wedding (LOUNE is an only child). When I told my mom that, she said, “For all we know, your brother could be secretly married already!” And we’re okay with that.
Okay, so at least one close friend was disappointed that she couldn’t be there, but she also knew years ago that I wanted to elope if I ever got married. She ultimately understood.
This. Their wedding is about what they want to do. I’m still going to love them whether they elope or have a big honking bash. I might love them more if they elope, come to think on it.
It seems to me that having weddings doesn’t solve this problem, because there are always people that aren’t invited. I’ve never been hurt when someone eloped, but I have felt excluded when I wasn’t invited to a wedding I expected to be invited to, even when I basically understood why. The larger the wedding is, the more this happens, not less: if someone invites no one, and I am not invited, it’s fine. If they invite just family, and I am not invited, it’s fine. But as they invite wider and wider circles, more and more people are going to feel excluded because they see that the list they didn’t make is a pretty long one.
Although the OP specifies “someone you love dearly” I don’t know that its very likely that you aren’t going to get invited to a large wedding for someone you love dearly, unless that love isn’t reciprocated or you have a huge circle of people you love dearly.
I think we are talking about sister/brother/child/best friend. The sort of people that if you do a destination wedding in Mexico (another idea I dislike), might travel.
Well, yes, but if the upshot it “If you elope, you risk hurting feelings”, my point is that that cycle never stops. Intimate family wedding? There will be a very good friend who thought she was “part of the family”. Invite her? There will be a childhood friend that was even closer, once, but isn’t now, who will be hurt. Or an aunt, who doesn’t understand why your friend was there, but she, who changed your diapers and hosted your second birthday party, wasn’t invited. Love dearly/not love dearly is a really blurry line.