Hey you’re right:
On second thoughts most of her past relationships went really badly… one of them greatly contributed to her getting hospitalised for schizophrenia. I think she already knows that I don’t like her belly… I’ve talked about what she can do about it many times. Perhaps the main problem she’d have is that I’m talking to the public about this.
The first song that your OP brought to mind was Weird Al’s Good Enough For Now.
This is a bad thing.
I like that song… “I honestly can say you’re an above-average lady You’re almost just what I’ve been looking for” though it is setting the bar fairly high.
“You Got What it Takes” by Marv Johnson
“If You Want to Be Happy” by Jimmy Soul.
Tim Minchin - If I Didn’t Have You
But I’m just saying
I don’t think you’re special
I mean… I think you’re special
But
You fall within a bell curve
I can’t believe that there is a song with those lyrics!
It’s clever how the song title doesn’t give anything away…
Pete Townshend - A Little Is Enough
“Common sense would tell me
Not to try to continue
But I’m after a piece
Of that diamond in you”
This reminds me of trying to pick out a greeting card for a failure of a relative. Fathers Day and Mothers Day, in particular - you haven’t cut them out of your life and you all just rub along, but when The Big Day rolls around, trying to buy them a card can be troublesome. The cards out there are so full of glurge you want to vomit, and unless you’re doing it ironically, how can you give a card that says “To the greatest mom/dad in the world”?
Maybe you should look to the future:
Grow Old With You - Adam Sandler
And even further:
Extremely Old With You - Paul and Storm
Joe Cocker’s “You Are So Beautiful” fits: the woman is beautiful to him, if not to anyone else.
Urgh, please don’t do that either. It’s gross.
Seriously.
This.
How about Joe Cocker: “You are so beautiful… to me.” (ETA, like **Reality Chuck **said.)
The Rolling Stones’ “Factory Girl” off Beggars Banquest. I especially like this verse:
“Waiting for a girl and her knees are much too fat
Waiting for a girl who wears scarves instead of hats
Her zipper’s broken down the back
Waiting for a factory girl”
I’m gonna start working on a song about my “low maintenance sex machine.”
It really sounds as if the OP thinks their ought to be a more rigorous maintenance schedule, though.
Yeah but that’s the thing: who takes the printed words on a card that seriously? They’re just standard lovey-dovey statements and the important thing is the handwritten part and/or the fact that you actually cared enough to get a card.
Similarly, I doubt that a woman serenaded with a song like Betcha by golly wow would actually take seriously lines like “Candyland appears each time you smile” or “You’re a genie in disguise”. Love songs are full of hyperbole (OK, metaphor in the case of BBGW). They’re not meant to be taken literally, line by line.
Yeah but in this case the woman isn’t even an unqualified beauty to the OP.
“You are so beautiful…to me (apart from the stuff I find repulsive)”.
Get on the scene
Like a low maintenance sex machine!
Huh!
Get a blank card and on the inside write, “Thinking of you on this special occasion. Happy ______ Day, love, [NAME]”
If that’s too glurgey, I respectfully submit that the relationship is in such a state that no card is necessary.
John, if you are looking for a love song to tell your beloved how you feel, ipso facto you find her beautiful.
“You’re the Ford Falcon of chicks, baby!
If you could move a little faster, maybe even a Pinto!”