I just saw Wicked on stage. Let me tell you Elphaba (aka the Wicked Witch of the West) with her green skin and pointed black hat looked like a million bucks!
Please don’t have kids with this woman.
I’ll chip in for your vasectomy, seriously.
I…I don’t say this often, but please, please think long and hard about whether you want to be married to this (probably very attractive to somebody who isn’t you) woman.
“Meeskite” from Cabaret?
"Meeskite, meeskite
No one ever saw a bigger
Meeskite, meeskite
Ev’rywhere a flaw
And maybe that is the reason why
I’m going to love her, until I die!
Meeskite, meeskite
Oh, it is a pleasure, she’s a
Meeskite, meeskite
She’s the one I’ll treasure
For I thought there could never be
A bigger meeskite, than me!"
You probably don’t want to play this one at your wedding reception even though it has a happy ending.
Me and my parents don’t think we should have kids but my fiance wants to have one though she is a bit unsure due to me not wanting one.
Well I’m in my thirties and she’s the first girl I’ve ever dated or properly kissed or held hands with. i.e. I don’t have many other prospects. I guess it is possible I could meet someone else, but then only a small percentage of those would end up in a long term relationship.
She has quite a few admirers which makes me more attracted to her… if I didn’t get married to her I’d eventually have to break up with her because marriage is very important to her.
BTW for the last year or so she prefers sex in the dark… I’m not sure why though since I haven’t asked her.
I try to avoiding being dishonest.
I think it is better to praise her using words I truly agree with. e.g. a long time ago I told her she has about the best personality I could imagine. (though she has major anxiety about going out to restaurants though I find them boring and expensive anyway…) She gave me a big hug about that.
BTW I think a large percentage e.g. 25% or something of people end up having affairs… I think it is better to be privately honest about my feelings regarding her physical attractiveness and be very committed and quite affectionate than to act nice and pretend everything is fine and have affairs.
BTW I really like a lot of things about her appearance like her cheekbones, lack of tendons in her neck, lack of tendons/veins in the back of her hands, her hair in its various hairstyles, the side of her waist (luckily it goes in a bit despite her huge belly), what her face looks like when she’s happy or pulling one of her funny faces… I focus on that and tell her I like that…
The thing about her belly is that it seems possible that she could change that and she often tries to watch what she eats. If it was something that was very unlikely to change I’d be more accepting I think. I mainly just hope her belly doesn’t get much worse…
Kids, my ass. Do the poor lady a favor and don’t marry her.
Seriously. IT’S YOUR WEDDING, ffs. If you can’t whomp up a little enthusiasm then, when can you? And she deserves so, so much more than someone who’s so unenthusiastic about her.
Pretty much every single post you make convinces me more that you and this woman should not get married.
Well in the original post I did post a song that might get played at our wedding and that is very upbeat and positive. Just because this thread is a bit depressing it doesn’t mean that all of my interactions with her. BTW I’m a fan of John Gottman and he found that in happy marriages there is a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions.
BTW a lot of people would marry in their “honeymoon” phase which apparent lasts about 1-3 years… at least I don’t think it’s downhill from here since I can already see her in a realistic light.
Well she’d be able to find someone else quite easily but what about me? I’d be lucky to find someone at all let alone someone I think is very compatible with me. I considered “mail order” brides but they usually wouldn’t be so good at English so I don’t think I’d feel such a connection. BTW our families are both extremely close… our families are good friends with each other including the siblings on both sides.
You don’t say…
PLEASE, don’t keep these lovely thoughts to yourself.
Afterall, what woman hasn’t yearned to hear the tender, poignant words “Honey, I love the way I can’t see the tendons in your neck!”
Dear Og. You know, I cleaned up all right when I was younger, but lots (and I mean LOTS) of hardships later have taken a toll on me. I’m extremely overweight, my teeth need work and no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to get any relief for my dry scalp. But all that said, my husband still tells me I’m beautiful. Now we’ve been married almost 20 years and he’s dealt with some of the most awful stuff imaginable with me (mental health issues and in-laws from hell, to name just two), so the road hasn’t been the easiest for him, either. He’s gained and lost and gained a ton of weight. He’s had health scares a plenty, problems with his teeth and is now unemployed and on disability.
Know what though? I still think he’s the most handsome man in the world to me. Sure, we’re no Kate Beckinsale or Jeremy Renner, but the love we have for each other blinds us to the unimportant facts of lack of physical perfection. And I seriously agree with some others that you should set her free. Whether or not you find anyone else is irrelevant. She deserves a significant other who can appreciate all of her unqualified. Mostly, she needs to be safe in a relationship where her partner has her back and wants the same things she does, like children. She should not be forced to settle because she doesn’t understand how very unmatched she is to your warped ideas.
I feel so incredibly sorry for her and you for not realizing what is paramount in life.
Not gonna say it, not gonna say it.
(BTW, what do YOU look like?)
You’re talking about more than just a lack of physical perfection… a crooked tooth is a lack of physical perfection… you are also able to describe the main flaws in the same way that I am aware of her flaws. (more or less)
Guess what? I did do that! I told her on the phone (yeah I now know it’s normal to do that in person - but like I’ve said she’s the first/only person I’ve dated). I said that I “didn’t love her enough”. Based on what my mum said I later sent this message:
“Sorry 4 hurting u. I hope we can be friends oneday if thats ok with u”
Her reply:
“Leave me alone from [name]”
A few days later:
“Im finally missing u 2day. Thx 4 being my first girlfriend n treating me so good. Well i’ll leave u alone.”
Later:
“Its selfish n probably too late to say but i want 2 get back together. If we did i’d b pretty selfish. Bye”
“I think i’ll ring tonight to try n get back together with u”
“I shouldnt hav broken up with u”
That night I rang up her phone and her brother answered. He told me she isn’t interested and I said I understand.
Anyway we stayed in contact for various reasons - partly because she was friends with my family and we just grew closer and closer together.
Well, it’s her funeral then. I really think she deserves better.
Of course it is relevant! If there were 100 other girls lining up makes a lot of difference to whether she is the only other woman in the world…
Well I know of one guy who wrote in a valentine’s day that she is truly beautiful… though she is put off by how mentally unstable he is.
I’m not completely against children - I just don’t explicitly desire them. BTW like I said earlier, my parents don’t think we should have children. We are going to be living with another soon to be married couple in the future and they’ll probably have kids and she can help raise them… BTW she’s not even sure she’s up to having any type of job and some say that kids are a full time job.
You hardly know how matched we are. BTW a previous boyfriend of hers was a mormon and wanted other wives, etc.
I guess you think we should break up because our love isn’t as blind as yours. If we have problems we can decide ourselves whether to break up. It seems weird to break up due to the disapproval from someone I’ve just heard from on the Internet. Well sorry you feel so “incredibly sorry” for us. I think it is worse for someone to have an affair and/or have a divorce.
What about me then? Is she the best I can hope for? BTW for a while I had very low self-esteem and thought I was perceived as a creepy guy based on some feedback I’d received. I heard that to truly love others you’ve first got to love yourself…
I used to only be attracted to very pretty girls - who were in demand. Also I didn’t know how to connect with them and start a reciprocal relationship. Well not as far as dating goes.
Panheads Forever by David Allan Coe. On the surface it’s about a motorcycle, but it’s also a metaphor about your low-maintenance sex machine.