Cancel the wedding, I’m not hearing from you the kind of love and commitment that will take people though a lifetime together. I’ve been married twice (divorced once, widowed once) and I KNOW what I’m talking about. Do both of you a favor and release her to find someone who can say, “To me, she’s the most beautiful woman in the world,” not “low maintenance sex machine.” Seriously.
[/unsolicited advice]
I really think that you should go with Pearl Jam’s Better Man.
I do not see a reason in principle the OP’s proposed marriage couldn’t work. It would not be a normal marriage but given that both him and his fiancee (is she your fiancee? have you proposed?) are very “unusual” there is no point in applying normal standards. I think he’s absolutely right, actually, that approaching the situation rationally is probably more likely to be succesful.
You just have to think of this as a contract rather than a romantic symbol of love or whatever.
You are so adequate…to me…
You are so adequate…to me…
You satisfy minimum qualifications, you meet my basic needs,
You are so adequate…to meeeee…
Do you honestly think I can find an extremely beautiful woman and have a long term relationship with her given that I’ve only dated one girl in my life and people on this forum don’t like my personality much? (also I don’t work fulltime and I’ve got a mental illness and I’m 33) She’d have to be one that gets me started sexually like my fiance does because I don’t get spontaneous erections much. I think just wanting someone because of their looks is shallow or it is at least in the “Shallow Hal” movie.
OP: do you love her? Seriously, yes or no. Not, “well, if there were other girls”. Not, “this is my only chance.” Just, “do you love her?”
As for why she wants to have sex in the dark, when her fiance’s told her he doesn’t like her stomach, and the fact that he’s really not physically attracted to her (I’m sure she can tell), it’s no wonder.
Do I love her? Yes. Do I love every little thing about her? No. Do I love her overall where the positives are weighed up against the negatives? Yes.
Well I’m glad we have sex in the dark a lot since it means that there’s nothing off-putting that I’d experience. BTW she also doesn’t like oral sex and french kisses and neither do I. Well she’s given me oral sex in the past though I don’t mind receiving it.
“Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen
Her bottom is fairly flat though…
<Ignoring the side arguments in this thread and just recommending songs to the OP or others planning weddings>
if you want realism in a wedding song, try:
For My Wedding - Don Henley
(the references to prayer might make her happy. I’m not religious at all but I like the song)
if you want to sweeten it up a bit but still be weird:
The Luckiest - Ben Folds
if you’re country or can fake it for 4 minutes:
Crazy Girl - Eli Young Band
I’m Only Me When I’m With You - Taylor Swift
cheesy to the max:
Everywhere I Turn - Bryan White (note he says he sees her everywhere, not that she’s a supermodel!)
I’m Into Something Good - Herman’s Hermits
That one isn’t suitable though… “she’s everything I’ve been dreaming of”
Actually, I don’t care that much about you. Do HER the favor. As a marriage, this is doomed. Why not just be FWB? Marriage is difficult enough when it starts out with both of you head over heels in love.
So you’re saying I’m not allowed to get married unless I somehow find a woman that to me is “most beautiful woman in the world”? She’s said that I’m her favorite boyfriend and also that she’ll love me forever, etc.
So how many years do you think it will last?
BTW in this thread
I don’t think anyone thought I could get back to together with her… but I’ve been back together with her for more than two years. BTW I originally broke up with her due to people just like you that said I should do her a favor and let her go…
Because she wants marriage… she said that if I don’t get married with her we’d have to break up sooner or later.
What about arranged marriages etc that usually don’t end in divorce? They often don’t begin head over heels… I think it is better to start a marriage after that phase is over because it means you’re not jumping into something with temporary rose coloured glasses. I’d have a good idea about what long-term married life would be like already.
BTW my fiance told me once or twice that I’m the first boyfriend of hers that her brother’s liked… and that’s good because we’re probably going to all move in together after the wedding.
I was browsing this webpage:
http://www.easyweddings.com.au/Music/FirstDanceSongs/
And came across Bad English “When I see you smile”… I started getting teary and was choking up - that happens from time to time during movies and some life events…
I had been favouring the song mentioned in the opening post but maybe I’ll dance the first dance to this song…
On the second play of that youtube video I started properly crying tears… BTW since I’ve known my fiance I’ve come a long way. I started and finished my second university degree and am working a lot more than I’ve ever worked…
No one said anything about “rose-colored glasses”. But all you do is talk about her flaws. Not about how much you love her. It’s more like you’re only marrying her just for the sake of getting married. When you love someone, you know they have flaws, but they don’t bother you, because the good outweighs the bad. You don’t keep going on and on about how she’s NOT “everything you dreamed of.” Just that you love them and they’re your best friend. If you would dump her for someone better – and it seems like you feel that way – DON’T GET MARRIED!!!
You admit you’re not exactly Mr. Handsome either.
How about, “Your Song”, from Elton John?
Oh, THAT sounds like a great idea! :smack:
For some reason the DK’s “Too Drunk to Fuck” comes to mind, but I can’t say why. (I’m drunk right now.)
It is called a synonym. ThelmaLou said “Marriage is difficult enough when it starts out with both of you head over heels in love.” i.e. they’re initially head over heels - and in that temporary phase they’d see each other in a better light.
In the thread where I talked about us getting back together and went ahead and did it I’m not sure I mentioned her flaws at all. And her flaws aren’t “all” I talk about in this thread… I’ve mentioned quite a few things I like about her. BTW to expand on my comment that I like how she’s very financially responsible - she has saved up a large sum of money, and also she doesn’t give any money for church offerings. (BTW I’m an atheist though all of my close relatives are Christian) Things like that are often more attractive to me than looks.
You wanted a yes or no answer about whether I loved her. I gave you one and also said that her positives outweigh her negatives.
Well I don’t want to lose her and BTW since I was a teenager I’ve always wanted to get married.
If people who love each other don’t bother each other why do they sometimes have big arguments? Why get so emotional about something that doesn’t bother them? Or maybe you think they don’t really love each other?
Well I want songs that have lyrics I agree with. I think it is more efficient to list the lines in a problem song that are inaccurate than list all of the lines that I agree with.
If I was married to her I would stay with her…
According to my fiance I’m gorgeous, a spunk, hotter than the sun, the apple of her eye, the best thing since sliced bread, etc. Though to a model I’m nothing special so it is easier to just stick with my fiance than to try and get in a long term relationship with a model-type. Many people here think it is necessary to not be repulsed by any physical aspect of your partner… I can live with it and appreciate other aspects of her more…
I find that song boring with no real passion.