Bryan Ferry - Let’s Stick Together
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Let’s-Stick-Together-lyrics-Bryan-Ferry/834E8F1EF0DBF7C248256A1800267ADD
That part about water is true for me - I only really missed her a few days after I broke up with her…
I’ve loved the following song since I was a kid:
Huey Lewis and The News - Stuck With You
Foreigner - I Want To Know What Love Is
“I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me”
? It’s a metaphor.
Well then I mean it is a metaphor that is similar to another metaphor that someone used. I mean one metaphor implies the other (“head over hills” vs “rose colored glasses”)
My fiance sent me a text message:
“[her 12 year old neice] just told me she thinks u are a hottie. Love [name]xxoo”
That was a bit weird…
anyway our relationship is a bit complex and varied and I forgot one aspect of it…
I’ve given her a few medals and a trophy that says she’s the world’s best or greatest lover…
I also gave her a door knob hanger that says the world’s greatest lover sleeps here and it shows two feet within two spread apart feet. She’s had that on her bedroom door for many months and she doesn’t mind if her relatives notice it.
I think my statement that she’s the world’s greatest lover is more accurate than some others saying their wife is the prettiest. Also I’d rather be in a relationship with the world’s greatest lover than the prettiest in the world. Like I said she’s a low maintenance sex machine. Though she also gives other types of affection such as using words. She also used to stroke her boyfriends chests until they fell asleep… it tickled me a bit too much though so she avoids doing that much.
Well I replied “
thx” to that message and she replied:
“Ur sweeter than all the sugar in the world baby cakes…” If she only knew my hidden life on this message board, secretly expressing some not-so-sweet thoughts…
I replied “ur sweeter than all the sugar in the universe”
An earlier post brought to mind Sister Moon by Sting. It’s ostensibly about the moon, but presents like a love song. I think these lines especially would be meaningful for you and your fiance:
My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun
My hunger for her explains everything I’ve done
…
I’d go out of my mind, but for you
So it references Shakespeare’s sonnet about loving the woman despite her physical imperfections, and also says that she’s been a strong motivator in your life, and she’s helping you with your journey to recovery.
BTW, despite the naysayers, I don’t see why this marriage couldn’t work. As you say, it’s like an arranged marriage, based on rational decision rather than the more Western passion. The problem I foresee is that what seems acceptable to you now may not be in the future. As people age they generally become even less physically attractive - and if that’s an issue to you now, it may be even more so later. But as you rightly say, personality is more important, and it seems that you two get along well. Do you have similar values and goals for the future?
With age some things might improve - e.g. as her hair greys and whitens the hair on her body would be less noticeable. (I gave her an epilator device because she didn’t shave her legs much and she thanked me a lot for it though she seems very reluctant to use it on her “snail trail”) Also I am attracted to some old women.
Our medium term plans are to move in together in a four bedroom house with another couple. The other girl is very good at cooking and cooks up impressive meals though the servings are a bit excessive and everyone except me is quite overweight. Well my fiance is only overweight on the belly and boobs - she’s thin otherwise. Anyway my fiance is a bit unsure as to whether she wants a kid and I’m similar though I’d prefer not to have one. She likes that I’ve been working quite a bit lately and she wants a job too. I’m encouraging her to study aged care since that seems like a good thing for her. We both also want to visit certain countries overseas since we haven’t gone overseas yet.
It sounds like you’ve all thought about this. Of course there can be good and bad things about living with others. You’ll have support (and cooking), but you’ll probably need chore charts or schedules to make sure nobody feels like they’re doing all the work. (Maybe you could ask for a new set of dishes for a wedding gift - smaller plates mean smaller serving sizes.)
It’s great that you’re working some now. And it sounds like you’re being very supportive of your fiance’s future as well (as long as she doesn’t feel she’s being pushed). So, work first, then save up money for those trips together (which, from the sound of it, she would be very good at doing).
Pretty much.
If I’m not mistaken, arranged marriages usually take place in close-knit, well-structured communities where the couple has an extended support system that helps them have a strong partnership. There is not only serious pressure from this system to stay married, but ongoing help is available in the way of child care, shoulders to cry on, loving people to celebrate your milestones with you, and possibly financial help, too.
While in no way endorsing the OP’s views, taking the actual question at face value, there’s the lovely SA group Freshly Ground (some may recognise them from the Football World Cup theme song with Shakira) with Pot Belly
This thread is making me all sentimental. All the sweet but realistic love songs, everybody talking about how their significant others are the most beautiful people in the world despite physical flaws… I’m seriously tearing up. It’s true that physical attraction can totally be in the eye of the beholder.
My boyfriend is quite a bit older than me and objectively kind of ugly. He’s got horrible teeth and wrinkles and freckles and stupid tattoos. But to me, he’s the sexiest man alive. He’s more physically fit than kids half his age, for one thing. I love his hair and his eyes and his hands and his smile (even though his teeth are gross!) and the way he smells after he’s been working all day.
That said, the first thing that popped into my head was this: Woman-Anti Nowhere LeagueYou could even play it at your wedding, if you only pay the first verse!
And to the OP: I think you guys need to work on establishing a little more financial and social independence from your respective families before you even think about getting married. You’re grown-ups now and what you think about each other is wayyyy more important than what her brothers think, for example.
Oh, I see. Then you’re right that the metaphor “wearing rose-colored glasses” is sort of synonymous with the metaphor “being head over heels”.
However, just so I don’t pass out from Baffled Nitpicker Syndrome, I’ll note that strictly speaking “head over hills” is incorrect: “head over heels” is supposed to symbolize being topsy-turvy, so in love you’re turning somersaults, don’t know which end is up.
We visit our own parents very regularly and visit each other’s parents quite regularly. We also are friends with each other’s siblings and are sometimes friends with each other’s friends.
I’m even a fan of the Tears for Fears song - I just wasn’t thinking…
Well actually sometimes relatives, etc, think that we should just live together without the other couple… and we don’t care that much what others think.
I know what a metaphor is. I also know a big fat trainwreck when I see it.
I just think it’s sad that all we hear about is how ugly she is. No one’s saying she has to be Kate Upton. And if the good outweighs the bad – why is the bad all you talk about?
And marriage will be difficult, no matter what. Relationships take work.
See this for example:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15528707&postcount=125
I disagreed that the marriage is doomed… I didn’t say that the marriage wouldn’t be difficult.
It’s not that you’re not allowed, it’s that it’s generally not a good idea. Because when you love someone enough to get through the utter shitstorm that life will sometimes be together, they look really fucking awesome to you, no matter what. Wrinkles, acne, buck teeth, sagging tits, crazy old man eyebrows, back hair, huge scars…all that shit doesn’t matter. You see those things, but you don’t see them, iyswim. What you see is, well, stunning. Heart-pounding. Hot as hell. If you’re starting out without that, if what you see is actually so disgusting you can’t even look at her…the deck is stacked against you even before the shit hits the fan.
There’s a difference between ‘head over heels’ and ‘rose colored glasses.’ A big, big difference. Rose colored glasses are very temporary and nobody should ever marry someone during that phase. But if you’re doing it right, the head over heels is never over, no matter how well you know each other and how few illusions you have.
I am in awe of this performance.