Songs that need to go away . . .

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

All of these songs are basically one-hit wonders. I mean, in six months, are we even going to remember Lou Bega? In five years, will I be able to name a single song that one of those ubiquitous boy bands every did? Probably not.

The real songs that must die are songs that have been played over and over again for the past 10, 15, even 20 years. You know, the songs that had their day, and now only seem to pop up when you’re on a long road trip with no tape or CD player in the car? The ones that may or may not have been good when they first came out, but when there’s nothing else to listen to you would rather have a root canal than be forced to hear?

Here’s an example of your average road trip nightmare:

pfffftthtththtptththththttht…

Whoa, here she comes
watch out boy, she’ll chew you up!
Whoa, here she comes–she’s a man eater!

pfffftthtththtptththththttht…

And IyeeeeIyeeeeeeI will always love Yooooooohoooohooohoooooo…

pfffftthtththtptththththttht…

Way down yonder by the Chattahoochee,
never knew how much that muddy water meant to me…

pfffftthtththtptththththttht…

How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends?
How can we start over when the fighting never ends, oh baby…

pfffftthtththtptththththttht…

She seems to have an invisible touch,
she reaches in and grabs right hold of your heart!

pfffftthtththtptththththttht…

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us?

pfffftthtththtptththththttht…

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways

BLAM!

That last sound you just heard, ladies and gentleman, was that of our hapless motorist driving his vehicle into a bridge abutment. These are the Songs That Need To Go Away. Who knows how many countless lives have been lost?

“Buffalo Bills? Oh, yeah. The guys that always snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.” --WallyM7

42

How about … entire song TRENDS that need to go away. My #1 nomination: dance versions of 70s-80s radio hits. It is the laziest way imaginable to make a hit record and it seems like everybody and their monkey’s doing it these days.

43

KPUF-All stoner radio,
featuring the best of Pink Floyd, The Grateful Dead, Phish, The (later) Beatles and…
Other works by Pink Floyd, The Grateful Dead, Phish,The(later)Beatles along with
Techno hour every day at 7!
hmph. well i would listen.

44

My vote for song I’d like to go away: Most modern rap(DMX, Dre, and Eminem excluded), anything and everything by guys with long hair and loud giutars, and most definitely, anything by anybody who is depressed or who has mental problems.

P.S. - To all who hate teeny-boppers: We’re out there, and we’re coming for you.

View every exit as an entrance someplace else

45

I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but I can’t stand all this teeny-bopping happy horse-shit that passes for music nowadays. All of this crap sucks so bad I can’t stand even hearing people talk about Britney Simpson or Jessica Spears or Backstreet Sync and N’Boys. Or whatever. All these sorry excuses for artists who don’t even write their own music and/or songs do nothing but bring up the bile from the back of my throat. What happened to talent? What happened to heart? What happened to music that meant something, that came from the soul? Shit, if your music is gonna be mellow, it should sure as hell mean something. And it should definitely be your own. I can’t say any more how much I can’t stand it. I’m now nauseous from just thinking about this, and have to go vomit. Sorry for taking up space on your thread with my mini-rant. Noonch.

“And on the eighth day, God Created beer
to prevent the Irish from taking over
the Earth.”
~SNOOGANS~

46

“Bark at the Moon” by Ozzy Osboure. I know you don’t hear it much these days, but I’m still kicking myself for buying the album. Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach”. “Having My Baby”. I hear that one a lot in the casino where I work. “Feelings”. Whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings…

I have a fantasy of getting together with a bunch of my friends, descending on a karaoke bar, queing up so we all follow each other, and do the absolute worst songs to come out in the last thirty-five years. I bet we could empty the place out in eight minutes flat…

The trouble with Sir Launcelot is by the time he comes riding up, you’ve already married King Arthur.

47

Hey, SaxFace:
My My This here Anakin guy, may be Vader someday later…

My personal pull and plug with a shotgun?
That stupid song where the guy is 23 and acts like hes 2 to 3.

>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<

—The dragon observes

48

Drain Bead, how do you do it? Those are EXACTLY the songs that are always on the radio on car trips! ::boggle::

I do not know the “artist,” but if I hear the “song” again whose lyrics consist of the phrase (I think) “Funk soul brother check it out now” repeated over and over for twenty minutes, serious mayhem will ensue.

49

That’s “Rockefeller Skank,” by Fatboy Slim. I kinda like that one, myself…

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

The Kat House
Join the FSH Muscular Dystrophy Webring

50

If anyone here is from NY, hopefully someone will know what I’m talking about. On Z100, they’re always, and I mean like every hour on the hour, playing Sarah McLaughlan. I don’t know the name of the song, but they play it ALL THE TIME. The song is like 2 years old! Or Summer Girls by LFO. I don’t remember who said it before but they were right. I liked both Summer Girls and Girl On TV until I actually heard them about 500 times each. Speaking of lyrics that mean nothing, I nominate LFO for the most meaningless songs award.

“Shooby Doo-Wop and Scooby Snacks…” AARRGGGGHHHH!

51

The current song that must die: “Scar Tissue,” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I thought I got sick of “Under the Bridge” and “Soul to Squeeze,” but this one trumps them both. The only thing that gets me to change the radio station faster is a Shane Company Direct Diamond Importers commercial.

I also still hear Counting Crows’ “Mr. Jones” far more often than can be healthy.

He thought he was the King of America, where they pour Coca-Cola just like vintage wine.

52

Anything by Phil Collins.

Bill Hicks quote: “We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow conTINues to make records. If you’re going to kill someone, have some taste.”

You’re only as old as you look.