Today I get in to work and there’s a little folder on my chair. See, they like to give people cards for various reasons, and they put all of our names on a list, then stick it to the interoffice envelope and pass it around. You cross your name off, etc.
No big whoop. HOWEVER, I see that this particular card is for a freelancer we have whose husband is having surgery.
I’ve had surgery FOUR fucking times since I started at this piece of shit company and not once has anyone even so much as asked me if I’m ok. I had surgery one month ago and no one acknowledged it. Not my manager, or my boss, or anyone else who knew about it.
I can see trying to protect someone’s privacy, but is there a reason a boss can’t send you a little email or phone you just to see if you’re doing ok?
I’ve signed birthday card after birthday card for people on this team, yet in three years I’ve never once gotten a card for mine. My birthday is tomorrow, and we’ll just see. I’d bet money I won’t hear a word about it or receive any acknowlegement whatsoever.
I honestly would not care if they didn’t put that fucking folder on my chair to sign something every other day. It matters not that they don’t care enough about a sick employee to even ask if I’m ok, but don’t do it for everyone else and then leave me out. That’s just shitty.
I’m not saying it’s a conspiracy, but whoever is in charge of the fucking cards and shit obviously doesn’t have my name on her little list.
I work for a monstrous behemoth of a company, and our cards only go around within the little sub-section (1/4 of our building’s floorspace). I sit not 10 feet from our card-lady (frizzy hair, 40+, single), and I’ve never gotten a mention for B-days, get-wells (on bout of a nasty flu-thing had me at home for a week last year), or anything.
Please identify your card-person…is she:
[ul]
[li]40+[/li][li]Weirdly outgoing (like “too” for work)[/li][li]Frizzy-haired[/li][li]Is an AP clerk[/li][/ul]
That list matches my last three company’s card-ladies.
On a different note, I hope all of your urgeries and recoveries went swimmingly.
I said something to front butt about it today when I saw her in the copy room. I asked her who had arranged for the card for this freelancer, and she said she didn’t know. She’s a manager, so I think that’s bullshit, but whatever.
Then I said, “Heh, yeah, I’ve had three surgeries since I’ve been on this team and no one’s even asked me if I was ok.”
She then made a production of how she didn’t know about it, blah blah, which is a lie because she’s tight with my boss and the other manager.
A few weeks ago I sat right in my boss’s office and told him that I think it’s seriously cold and messed up that he couldn’t even send me an email when I’d been out for a week for surgery. The look on his face was priceless, but fuck, have some manners and social decency, motherfucker.
I’ve given up trying to be nice to these people. I faked it for a long fucking time, but I’ve had it with them. Now I just stay in my cube, do my work, and avoid them as much as humanly possible.
One day, when I fulfill my dream of becoming a FedEx driver, I will laugh as I’m driving along. No longer will I be confined to this cell!
(I have no idea how to become one, but I swear, it’s my dream job compared to this.)
Ah, the office snub. I’ve faced it a few times. Sometimes you just can’t break the pre-existing clique, you know?
Although from experience, the post-snub Isolation phase only means the clique is even more dead-set against you. You could try being passive-aggressive, manipulate them back or just give up and not care all the while being completely friendly and seemingly oblivious to their games. I went with option #3, myself. But I completely understand that in the interim it is hella annoying to deal with such stuff.
Don’t feel bad, it’s everywhere. I’ve never got more than a printed Xmas card from my job, but I can’t count the times I’ve been asked to contribute money or gifts to somebody’s baby shower - somebody who works on the other side of the building, whom I’ve never met in the four years I’ve been here. They got along without my charity for 46 years. They make twice as much as I do, maybe more. They’ll live.
Yeah, I’m pretty much with you. I don’t play the passive-aggressive game, nor do I manipulate people. It’s just a job, I don’t even really give a crap about it. They could fire me tomorrow and I’d say buh-bye, then I’d call front-butt that to her face and see how she likes it.
I’ve got all sorts of venom in me. It’s really best I sit in my cell and keep my mouth shut. Every interaction is a roll of the dice whether that venom is going to come out or not. I realize it’s not normal to have this much anger built up, but I’ve been stuck in the same position for almost three years. I’ve tried and tried to play the office games it takes to get promoted, but nada.
At this point I’m ready to give someone a hearty “Fuck you.”
People who tend to take things as snubs end up snubbed a lot [analysis of the cause-effect relationship is left as an exercise to the reader].
Failing to send you a card hardly puts someone in the “sons of bitches” category. Some people are card-senders, and some aren’t. In order to get a card, you have to be close enough to a card-sender for them to go to the trouble of buying a card and passing it around. If the least likable person in the office has a card-sender as a best friend, everyone’s going to end up signing the card, simply because that’s what they’re supposed to do. Conversely, you can be the most loved person in the whole office, but if you only hang out with the types of people who don’t send people “get well” cards, don’t expect a card.
Sucks that you didn’t get a card. However, to answer your question above, there may be a reason at your company. I have a co worker who just came back from surgery (out 6 weeks). We sent her flowers and a card, but we were explicitely told not to ask how she’s doing. Apparently, anything that may be construed as asking when she’s feeling well enough to come back can only be handled by HR. My boss was of the opinion that even asking “how are you” falls into that category. It’s really stupid, but she gets weird ideas from time to time.
It’s not the damn piece of printed cardboard, kids, it’s all about being the person everyone ignores. Have a little sympathy for the starless sneeches ok?
There’s a Dr. Suess booked called The Sneetches and Other Stories. It’s story about how cruel it is to be unpopular because of something you cannot control. And perhaps also about the futility of trying to be popular. It ends happily, as fiction does.
As a manager, I hate this crap. You try to do something nice for morale, and always somebody’s unhappy.
You buy pizza, and somebody whines they don’t like pepperoni. Hey! This is a gift because we want people to be happy. Now fucking be happy!
One company I was at, we gave one employee a modest present when he got married. And everybody was happy. Except for one guy who had gotten married two years ago (before I was there). And another guy who happened to be gay and let me know that this was biased because he wasn’t legally allowed to get married. Hey! I’m on your side on this issue. But what the hell does this have to do with trying to do nice things for employees?