Sorrow

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Everything came crashing down on me once again. I cried the other day as well, but today it was even heavier. I found out I probably didn’t get a job I wanted, so after Sunday I will be jobless. On any other day, it wouldn’t be a big deal, I’d just sign on with a temp agency and keep looking for something permanent.

Today, it just sat atop the breakup, the crashing planes, plummeting bodies, flames, lost firefighters and police officers, dead fathers/mothers/sons/daughters/sisters/brothers/friends/coworkers/husbands/wives/lovers/terrorists, dust, smoke, twisted metal, blood, screaming, endless repetitions of the ohfuckit’sgonnacrashintothebuilding footage, military call-ups, impending war, missing the idiot ex-boyfriend and everyotherfuckingthing else that’s happened to me personally and my fellow Americans collectively in the last week, and it just came collapsing down around my ears just like those damn towers.

I suddenly couldn’t be at work anymore, I had to get the hell OUT. NOW. I quickly changed out of my uniform, left a message for my boss, and escaped just before I began to weep uncontrollably. I got to the car and had to sit and sob for several minutes before I could even see to drive.

Fuck.

2

Fuck, indeed. And again, fuck.

{{{{{geobabe}}}}}

3

What [b/]DZ** said.

4

I don’t normally do this, but for you

{{{{{Geobabe}}}}}

5

Oh, honey.

((((Geobabe)))))))

I wish I could do more.

Much Love,

Cheri

6

I’m so sorry to hear that.
Life is shitty soemtimes.
I really hope it will turn to the better for you soon.
Hug

7

{{{{Geobabe}}}}

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

8

I wish I could do something for you, L, but know that I am thinking about you and willing good things your way.

-Eric

9

Thanks, and hugs right back at all of you. I’m gonna head out in a few minutes to get together with some of the DC Dopers, so I hope that will help lift my mood.

10

Damn, looks like I’m too late.

{{{(((Geobabe)))}}} anyway.

11

{{{Geobabe}}}

I’m always here if you need to talk, darlin.

12

We’ve all had a rough week, and it sounds like you’ve got some extra weight dragging on you. Think of us as your continuity Geobabe.

13

I’ll gladly lower the fist of rage I’m currently holding up in order to put my arms around you and wish you well.

{{{{Geobabe}}}}

14

Thanks again. I spent a lovely evening with the DC Dopers, and while I can’t say everything is all right, it certainly is better. Getting my mind off of things for a few hours was so therapeutic.

And as with the last time I posted a sad thread, just knowing that the good people of the SDMB are here is such a help. Knowing that someone out there–multiple someones–cares about me helps to ease the burden immensely.

And now, off to bed. Must work in the morning (yuk!).

{{{{{{{{{{Dopers}}}}}}}}}}

15

Do you ever use ICQ? Since I work at home now, I’ve got it up all the time (no pun intended smartasses), and have nothing better to do than lend an ear.

16

Have you changed your ICQ number? 'Cause you’re on my contact list, but you never show as online.

17

{{{{{{{{{{{{Geobabe}}}}}}}}}}}}.

Yeah, I know. You hate cyberhugs. <smile> Tough !! You got a big fat one from me anyway. It’s the best I can do right now, the best most of us can do. I can’t TELL you how distressed I am that I cannot be in Prospect Park on Sunday to be with the NY Dopers. Sadly, the Wifestrocity hates the very idea of my Internet friends, and suggesting that we all go would cause great strife in Chez Toon.

Having said that, what you wrote in your O.P. brings something to mind. I bet we’ve all experienced this, pre-Tuesday. You’re in the mall,or the parking lot, or somewhere in public. You see someone crying. Crying hard. When I see this, I’m always torn between wanting to see if there’s anything I can do, and leaving them to their privacy. Obviously whatever has happened to them is so overwhelming that they cannot control the emotions and are standing there in public, crying. I tend to leave them be, assuming they are adults. Kids, another story.

[ Okay. I am previewing this and I need to add something. My frame of mind made me write this just now

The very idea that THIS is how I would normally react to someone in profound distress in public makes me angry. What? Everything has to be so carefully controlled?? Shit…that’s a hijack. Sorry, another thread maybe just on this…]

Now, that’s changed too. I saw so many people standing and talking, or being alone outside and weeping this week. And for the first time in my life, I didn’t have to wonder why.

This thread reminds me of passages from my favorite book, My Name Is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok. In it the narrator talks about watching his father weep, and weep, and seeing others weep at the stories starting to come out of Europe at the end of WWII, vis a vis the atrocities committed not just against Jews, but against Humanity. People stood outside, weeping openly. Maybe it’s a much healthier thing than I’ve ever see it as…

This wasn’t a straw that broke the camel’s back, Geo, it was a crushed and flaming fire truck that did it for you. My heart goes out to you hon, an awful sad tragic week compounded in so many heartbreaking ways.

Anything I can do, you just say the word.

Cartooniverse

18

{{{{{{Geobabe}}}}}}

19

Just wanted to add a bit to this. I remember after my father died, the sadness would come and go. Some days, some hours, some minutes, were fine, and others were crushing grief. The weight eased as time went on, but still the feelings would return from time to time. It’s been much like that with this as well.

Saturday was much better than Friday, though I was more subdued than usual.

Yesterday, it was almost like normal life; the sun was shining, kids were running amok through the park, Gift Shop Boy chatted me up and we made a tentative date for today. I felt good.

Today, I got up and felt fine for a few hours, but now I feel irritable and depressed. Part of that, I think, is just that I need a nap, so I plan to lie down for a bit and see how I feel when I get up.

20

Treat yourself well, honey. Give yourself time to grieve over everything: job, relationships, the terror of this past week, the fact that life isn’t very shiny right now.

The turmoils of life are like waves on the ocean. Sometimes we’re up, sometimes we’re down. Just wait for the next swell to come your way.

I’ll save my hugs for October - hoping to see you then.

…so when’s the date with Gift Shop Boy? :wink: