But what if the guy meant “I like remote surfing areas…”?
stands up and claps
Autolycus, you have arrived.
I will buy you a beer when next you are in Brighton.
Stoid, I want my black t-shirt back.
As unromantic as this sounds, I can only suggest that if the whole world hates you, it’s probably not because the whole world has a problem.
Here are some fun, real responses I’ve gotten from personal ads. Actually the worst have gotten deleted, but I have:
Sorry, I don’t enjoy doing things or talking.
This was the entire email… and I was 27 at the time.
Thanks. I guess your face shot of you, with your shaved head and long mangly beard, should speak for itself.
Actually, looking back, I got emails from this same guy the previous time I posted my ad. He previously wrote:
Guess the strategy isn’t working for him.
Byee indeed…
Like 90% of the responses are like these. It’s maddening. I tend to get about 60% illiterates with no information/communication, 20% foreign guys looking for a green card, 10% one night hookup offers and maybe 10% where it’s an actual email. And of those, a lot of them don’t sell themselves well:
Oh, and of course, the weirdos, the pervs, the people with pictures of them and their ex-girlfriends, and – in my sister’s case – one guy who sent his wedding photos. Fortunately I don’t get the dick pictures. Iowa, I guess.
You may not be interested in hearing my opinion, but I’ma give it anyway. A woman who truly has it going on and knows it never feels the need to point it out. Being old and fat doesn’t necessitate some mitigating follow-up statement unless you think these things limit your desirability, which they shouldn’t unless for some reason they really do. So be aware that your bragging here smells of insecurity and drastically takes away from your allure.
If I were to read the same self-description from a “old and balding” man who mentioned, as you did, that his last relationship was with a woman young enough to be his daugher? Oh, the adjectives that come to mind. And none of them good.
How does one felch, lightly?
With one of those little cocktail straws.
You use one of those little coffee swizzles instead of a full-on drinking straw.
(High-five) Jinx!You owe me a coke!
No, this.
Not a pit post, but fuck-it. It’s slow at work today and I have nothing else to do…
Different Vantage Point Portion: When it comes to dating, the internet is a merely a supplemental vessel for meeting people. I think you’re putting much too much weight on it. You have to remember, most people view online introductions quite differently than they do a face to face, first impressions. Consider taking a step back and try following: Instead of hoping against hope that a few prospective dates will rise to your literacy standards and intrigue you via monitor & keyboard - use internet dating the same way 90%+ of online daters do.
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Based on your other commitments, establish a dating schedule. Commit yourself to meeting x amount new people per week.
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Always remember, everyone has access to the same number of prospects that you do. They’re not going to squander their time to submit a doctoral thesis attachment along with their reply.
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From the vast pool available, weed-out the imbeciles, frauds and physically unattractive candidates. Contact the top 20 percentile of respondents with an e-mail reply. You’ll probably end up culling out a few more undesirables.
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Exchange telephone numbers numbers with the possible keepers and have a conversation on the phone. This is the “pre” first impression stage. Any internet correspondence that occurred prior to that conversation is now moot. Purge it from your memory and ignore those trivialities that may have surfaced during the 'net stage.
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If the phone conversation is going well, set up a date & write it into your schedule. It’s not like you’re committing to anything more serious than going to do something enjoyable with someone you’re meeting for the first time.
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While getting ready for your date, remind yourself that within an hour or two, you’ll both be making your real first impression.
Nitpick Portion:
That Asian living nearby is using the 'net like they’re supposed to, essentially saying, ‘I liked your ad, maybe a date is in the cards. By the way, I’m pointing out my Asian background from the get-go because sometimes people are uncomfortable dating minorities, have a problem with my English proficiency or assume I’m a green-card coveting alien.’ For all any of us know, by rolling your round eyes at that 21 word reply instead of replying, you might’ve passed up on a nice date.
Well, I’m not sure you deserve the level of hostility, but this is the Pit, so take that for what it’s worth. What I’m getting (since it seems in your response to me that I have been reading and interpreting your ad fairly accurately so far) is not so much a sense of security and confidence and “I’m cool with myself” from the ad, but rather an exaggerated sense of self/overinflated ego. It has that “lady doth protest too much” and “man, she’s really full of herself, isn’t she?” vibe to it. Kinda like those guys who need to brag about the company they own, or fancy new car they have, or something like that. There’s a fine line between being secure with oneself and coming across like a megalomaniac, and, IMHO, you’ve crossed into the latter. Obviously, I’m not the only one latching on to that sense. Look at much of the rest of the responses in this thread.
And, who knows? Maybe this ad will serve you fine. But I’m sure there are plenty of eligible and intelligent men with whom you might get along who read that ad and, forgive me for being so crass, simply think “crazy bitch.” Then again, maybe you really don’t want to talk to these guys in the first place. I think you’re needlessly editing these people out of the dating pool and may be missing out, but in the end it’s your call.
Why is a woman’s self-confidence, hey, even overinflated ego, still so threatening? Must we all be perpetually dieting and worrying about our worry lines? I got a lot of shit as a teen for loving my body and my brain, but I also ended up as the only girl in the grade without an eating disorder and/or abusive boyfriend. I’m tired of constant self-deprecation and low self-esteem – I’ll take smug self-satisfaction over endless 'Do I look fat?'s any day.
It’s not. It’s an exaggerrated sense of self confidence that’s a turn-off. Just as it is in men, for me.
Confidence is important to me in a partner. I don’t want a doormat.
No, VT didn’t say “lightly”, he said “light felching”. I recommend a 15-watt candle-bulb in the first instance, but beware of breakage. :eek:
It’s not weird here. You can tell by their prose that many posters here don’t really like themselves. There are a few people that you can almost always count on some venom, too – which leads to pile-on venom.
Well, thank God in real life there’s shades of grey in between, because I would take neither.
Who said “threatening”? As if (were I in the market) Stoid would be in a position to threaten me from the other side of the monitor! Just because men find your[sup]1[/sup] attitude repellent doesn’t mean they’re threatened by it - that’s just a lie you use to console yourself. :rolleyes:
[sup]1[/sup] Rhetorical “your” and “you”, of course. But you knew that anyway.
True, but I think it’s scary how women are just expected to hate some part of themselves. And this shit starts in grade school, when boys can be proud of their accomplishments and play the braggart but girls are encouraged to be hardworking but polite, or even to play dumb.
I was sitting with a group of friends – beautiful, smart, with great jobs – and one of them (the tallest, thinnest one) said she was having a ‘fat day, you know?’ Everyone nodded in a greement then looked at me. Me: ‘I don’t have fat days. I’m not fat. And neither are any of you. I just don’t have the time for that bullshit.’ Ohhh the venom. It’s like when supermodels reassure everyone that they hate the way they look sometimes, just so there can be some comraderis with the ‘normals.’ I just can’t bond over that crap. (the book Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters is all about this).
I am certainly no fan of people who are sure they’re the shit and are really jerks, and might think differently if Stoid were like this at all times IRL, but because low self-esteem has become the norm, I actually find (sometimes overly) high self-esteem refreshing in women.
Also, keep in mind Stoid is in L.A. Compared ot most residents, she’s being downright humble.
True confidence shouldn’t be threatening. But an “overinflated ego” by definition is too much, too much. So why should it be surprising that people have a problem with that?
There’s nothing gender-specific about this. Read Stoid’s ad as if were coming from man. Do you really think you’d be as supportive about it? It’s a bit too much, too much no matter what is going on between the author’s legs.