These are lessons I’ve learned the hard way. Though my bias is as a male dating only females, I think these rules apply across the board.
Of course no rule is without it’s exceptions, but I hope that I might help someone out there avoid the suffering I’ve endured to figure these seemingly obvious things out.
[ul][li] Be wary of someone with no hobbies.[/li][li] If they cheat on their current SO to be with you, they’ll cheat on you to be with someone else.[/li][li] Once a liar, always a liar.[/li][li] Those cute but irksome personality quirks usually don’t stay cute for long.[/li][li] If your initial reaction to finding out their number of previous partners is shock or incredulity, it will likely cause problems later on.[/li][li] Trust your instincts.[/li][li] Trust is a privilege, not a right.[/li][li] If it seems ludicrous, it probably is.[/li][li] Beware those that are secretive about their life outside of the relationship.[/li][li] There is such a thing as being too needy, and it’s a huge red flag.[/li][li] Identical interests are not a necessity, nor are they entirely desirable.[/li][li] Opposites attract but rarely work well together for any length of time.[/li][li] Beware the Ex, particularly if they maintain a prominant place in your SO’s life.[/li][li] If you still lust for or find yourself wanting to share life’s every detail with one of your ex’s, you’re not ready for a new relationship yet.[/li][li] Nice people don’t finish last, they just attract the wrong type of person.[/li][li] Think with your head, not your hormones.[/li][li] If it’s worth fighting for, fight for it.[/li][li] When close friends you trust warn you, take a minute to take off the rose colored glasses and don’t dimiss their advice nonchalantly. If they are your friend, they’re looking out for your interests and it’s easy, especially at the beginning of a relationship, to be blinded to certain things that seem obvious to an outsider.[/li][li] Devotion is good. Stalking is demented.[/li] Find interests outside of the relationship. Centering your universe on someone else is a set-up for pain. While a loving SO can bridge the void within, no one can fill it but you and depending on someone else to do so is unfair to them and the relationship.[/ul]