Sheldon, don’t take this the wrong way, but, you’re insane.
You can’t be serious? My daughter is marrying a gigolo who’s mother is a criminally insane drug trafficker.
Mrs. Cooper, this is certainly a most serious and sobering charge.
Color me impressed. A B&E with B&V. What would your Holy Roller mother say about this, Betty?
- Gee, Mom, do you mean like God?
- Mmm-hmm. And Beaver, if you do something bad, you’re gonna hurt Him.
- I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt God. He’s got enough trouble with the Russians and all.
Here, I am janitor. In former Soviet Union, I am physicist.
You being a physicist, I wouldn’t mind if you stayed.
As nice as that offer sounds, uh, the alternative is to spend the night with a stewardess who’s offered to bump me up to first class.
- Our children will be both smart and beautiful.
- Not to mention imaginary.
Mom knew everything I did before I did it.
Mothers are like that, yeah they are.
That’s what parents do: they all lie to their kids for their own good.
I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.
Never tell the truth when a good lie will do.
I told him the truth, and strange enough, he believed me.
She’s about to learn that the truth can take many different forms, depending on how you look at it.
“You enjoy losing?”
“Not really, no. But then, I don’t have anything to compare it to.”
Wait a minute. This is the dumbest thing I ever heard. Your team is winning and your team is winning, but you both figured out a way to lose money on it.
I hate to do it, Artie, but I think I’m gonna pass. If you don’t pay me back, I ain’t gonna be able to hurt you.
You owe me. You owe yourself. You owe the whole community. You even owe my mother.