Green Acres, that’s the place for me.
Now, this is the tale of our castaways. They’re here for a long, long time.
From the town of Bedrock
They’re a page right out of history
Stop drilling, you’ve hit bedrock.
Yabba dabba doooo!
Rooby rooby roo!
Meet my friend. She’s Ruby Sunday!
Well, I think you look like Chrissy from “Three’s Company”!
“Al, you’ve been certain about three different people!”
“Yeah, but this time I’m really certain!”
AWOOOOOO! Welcome, to Monster Chiller Horror Theater! Tonight’s feature, is a scary one! It’s got rats! Lots and lots of rats! Whole packs of rats! Yes! It’s called “4 For Texas”, and it’s got… rat pack? Rats! Lots and lots of rats! AWOOOOO!
Yeah. You gotta do what you gotta do to stay alive, and if it comes to it, it’s Texas.
-All right, Tam. I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner: bar-b-que chicken and brisket.
-Thank you.
-Well, I figured you were probably tired of stuff wigglin’ around on your plate. OK, let’s say Grace. Now, Tam, when I say ‘Jesus’, feel free to say the word ‘Buddha’ in your head.
-I’m actually Catholic.
-Oh. Well, that’s too bad.
In Texas, the bottom line is who you know and what they owe you.
Pee for Houston, pee for Austin / Pee for the state my heart got lost in.
And shake twice for Texas.
Well, once upon a time… I was a judge in the Miss Texas beauty contest. And after a while, you run all those girls through the contest, and it… It looks like a cattle auction in Fort Worth.
“I didn’t know it was an auction! I figured: take a guess, help a charity, free boat!”
“Why would a charity give away a free boat?”
“I don’t know. Charity?”
It’s just a write off for them.
“They wrote me off, but I never wrote back!”
That’s a good story, George. I wish I’d written it. As a matter of fact, it’s so good, people will probably think I did.
This was supposed to be the summer of George!