New York is where I’d rather stay
I get allergic smelling hay
Son, to me that’s a tiptoe through the tulips.
I have to tiptoe around his new girlfriend.
[At dinner, Ward and June are unsure how to bring up the subject of Wally going steady ] How come you guys keep staring at me? Am I eating like a pig again?
Oh yeah, big night tonight. Gonna share a can of tuna with the cat. Not my cat, I just feed it. Some nights it doesn’t even show up.
Is your cat making too much noise all the time? Is your cat constantly stomping around, driving you crazy? Is your cat clawing at your furnitures? Think there’s no answer? You’re so stupid! There is: Kitten Mittons!
Did that cat just talk? Or am I picking up his thoughts telepathically?
My name is Talky Tina, and you’d better be nice to me.
I should never have let you talk me into doing the show from a railroad depot.
When they hear the dinner bell
From the Shady Rest Hotel, at the junction
Folks will walk a country mile for the chicken
Country style, at the junction
But it’s easy to observe
All the pretty girls that serve at the junction
(Petticoat Junction)
Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
Hookin’ up words and phrases and clauses
This is some bullshit!
Bull, you look depressed.
Elizabeth’s never going to walk again… it’s my fault.
Oh, no, Rose. It’s all my fault. The minute I found out you were contagious, I should have thrown you out on the street.
If influenza was only contagious after the symptoms appear it would’ve died out centuries ago. Somewhere between tool using and cave painting, homo habilus would figured out to kill the guy with the runny nose.
You do everything right in life, play by all the rules… and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world! After one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So, that’s why I’m here.
So, we’re in the Bad Place. And I know why: almond milk. I knew it was bad for the environment, but I loved the way it coated my tongue with a weird film.
She probably thinks ecology is a new band name.
You’re in a band. That’s like a business-class ticket to cool with complimentary mojo after takeoff. I gotta learn an instrument.