I’m not actin’! I’m not actin’.
Let me tell you something- you couldn’t have convinced me the way you did unless somewhere in you you had that courage! Nobody’s that good an actor!
[smashes a plate against the wall]
Don’t interrupt me, honey.
Look, I’m Zippy Longstockings.
Ages three and up! It’s on my box! Ages three and up! I’m not supposed to be babysitting Princess Drool!
I hate birthday parties! I hate kids! I HATE BEING A CLOWN!
And there was these things, these killer clowns, and they shot popcorn at us! We barely got away!
You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords.
They went home… and sat in a hot bath… opened up their veins… and bled to death… and sometimes they had a little party before they did it.
You know, we’re here celebrating but it’s a shameful thing… what I did. And I have a lot of making up to do to everyone. But second chances are rare. Right? And that’s worth celebrating.
Whores don’t get a second chance.
Men would pay $200 for me, and here you are turning down a freebie. You could get a perfectly good dishwasher for that.
Oh DID you? Well, hip hip hooray for your cheap climax! What about ME, fuck face?
No, no. Fuck you, Fuckball!
She coughs, as if to attract my attention towards her, and gave me a lewdly religious glare!
You know, I don’t get you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You’ve been in His presence. He’s spoken to you, personally. Yet I just heard you admit to being an atheist.
Oh, he gave me special instructions back of the pulpit Christmas Eve. He got to howlin’ “Repent! Repent!” and I got to moanin’ “Save me! Save me!” and the first thing I know he rammed the fear of God into me so fast I never heard my old man’s footsteps!
The Lord is my shepherd… he KNOW what I want!
Ah, hell, Shepherd, I ain’t looking for help from on high. That’s a long wait for a train don’t come
O dear God, thank you. You are such a good God to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating God. And we thank You O sweet, sweet Lord of hosts for the smörgåsbord You have so aptly lain at our table this day, and each day… by day. Day by day… by day. O dear Lord, three things we pray: To love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more clearly, to follow Thee more nearly day by day… by day. Amen.