Haven’t you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?
“And now, the star of our show, the kamikaze of comedy! Fasten your seat belts, put on your crash helmets; because here he comes… Mr. Saturday Night… Buddy Young, Junior!”
"I drove up here today. I love driving. You run across so many interesting people. "
Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist, I think you’ll understand. Sometimes when I’m driving… on the road at night… I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The… flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
Have you picked up your medication, Charlie ?
Neely, you know it’s bad to take liquor with those pills.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
Here’s to five miserable months on the wagon, and all the irreparable harm it has caused me.
Then there came to town, a gun deadly and frightening / A gun quicker than lightening, fasted gun you’ve seen. / It was the gun in the hand of Eli ‘Kid’ Sheleen.
Clang, clang, clang went the trolley / Ding, ding, ding went the bell / Zing, zing, zing went my heartstrings / For the moment I saw him I fell.
He shot Liberty Valance/ He shot Liberty Valance/ He was the bra-vest of them all!
Que Sera, Sera / Whatever will be, will be.
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Come on boys, Potato’s in the paddywagon, gotta get her outta there.
The world is a stage/ The stage is a world/ Of entertainment!
Here we are now. Entertain us.
And now presenting the Cabaret Girls! Rosie! (Rosie is so called because of the color of her cheeks.) Lulu! (Oh, you like Lulu? Well, too bad! So does Rosie.) Frenchie! (You know I like to order Frenchie on the side. On your side Frenchie! Just kidding!) Texas! (Yes, Texas is from America!But she’s a very cunning linguist!) Fritzie! (Oh, Fritzie, please, will you stop that! Already this week we have lost two waiters, a table and three bottles of champagne up there.) and Helga! (Helga is the baby. I’m just like a father to her. So when she’s bad, I spank her. And she’s very, very, very, very, very bad.)
Why, you’re little men. How do you do?
We represent the Lollipop Guild.
Why, I believe they’re going to treat us to a little song. It is quite a special occasion, of course. They haven’t had a fresh audience in many a moon.