Well, she got that magna cum laude pussy on her that done fried up your brain!
We played strip chess. She had me down to my shorts and I fainted from tension.
See, I just love naked women. It’s a character flaw.
Women! What can you say? Who made ‘em? God must have been a fuckin’ genius. The hair… They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls… just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips… and when they touched, yours were like… that first swallow of wine… after you just crossed the desert. Tits. Hoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs. I don’t care if they’re Greek columns… or secondhand Steinways. What’s between 'em… passport to heaven. I need a drink.
Aww, but she could be so hot if she wanted to. She’s like all these babes, you get their pilot lit, they could suck start a leaf blower. And she’s got the most incredible body too and a pair of titties that make you wanna stand up and beg for buttermilk. Ass like a ten year old boy!
That ain’t no woman! It’s a man, man!
Women today are better-hung than the men.
Thing is, Mike, ask any woman what she likes most in a man. Compassion, tenderness, sensitivity. Traditionally the female virtues. Perhaps what women secretly desire is a man who is fundamentally a woman.
Just because a person doesn’t go around blabbing her entire biological history to everyone she meets doesn’t make her a liar.
Next time you decide to impersonate a music hall singer who’s been dead for the past twelve years, I suggest you learn her full repertoire! Won’t you come in, MISS LIAR?
OK, now wait a minute. I did nine plays in eight months up in Syracuse. I happened to get great reviews from the New York critics, not that that’s why I did it.
I am a dedicated actor, Paula, you know? I am dedicated to my art and my craft, I value what I do. And because of a mentally arthritic director, I am about to play the second greatest role in the history of the English-speaking theater like a fresh double-order of California fruit salad.
And so there I am on the first day, on the set, and there’s this guy fucking me from behind, right, and there’s these two huge guys dressed like cops in my mouth at the same time and I remember thinking to myself, “I like acting. I wanna study.”
Bring me my stunt cock.
My good man, what I choose to do with my schlong is my business!
It’s good to be the king!
Screw you, honey. Boy, if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a queen without a sense of humor.
“It’s not what you know. It’s what you can prove.”
I’m saying that when the President does it, it’s not illegal!
It’s not illegal. It’s frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.