I don’t have to go in to get him. If I wait long enough, he’ll come out to me.
Look, it’s simple. Just stay here and make sure he doesn’t leave the room.
I have never left the Soviet Union.
Jesus, where did you learn your Russian? J.C. Penney?
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Truly, this was the son of God.
No. I am your father.
I chose the right man for chancellor!
Tomorrow we start tearing down the college.
“O Captain, My Captain.” Who knows where that comes from? Anybody? Not a clue? It’s from a poem by Walt Whitman about Mr. Abraham Lincoln. Now in this class you can either call me Mr. Keating, or if you’re slightly more daring, “O Captain, My Captain.”
Food Fight!
I don’t like food; I love it. And if I don’t love it, I don’t swallow.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.
Ehhhh, What’s up, Doc?
I think you’ve swallowed a bit too much sea water.
I can’t swim … or take my clothes off.
Why won’t you take your clothes off?
(That’s actually a TV quote, but it’s a personal favorite.)
Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.
Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don’t you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don’t you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?