All you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I’m gonna give it to them!
I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I’m moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.
You have nice manners for a thief, and a LIAR!
Listen, I’m a politician – which means I’m a cheat and a liar, and when I’m not kissing babies I’m stealing their lollipops. But it also means I keep my options open.
We represent the Lollipop Guild.
I represent ADIPOSE Industries, and you’re on the list of our valued customers.
Wait, wait, wait, your mother’s so fat, after sex I roll over twice, and I’m still on the bitch!
I don’t roll on Shabbas!
I’m saying, I see what you’re getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it’s shabbas, the sabbath, which I’m allowed to break only if it’s a matter of life or death…
You want money? What kind of terrorists are you?
Charlie, there are two kinds of thieves in this world: The ones who steal to enrich their lives, and those who steal to define their lives.
You are a Rabbi. I’m a bank robber. I’m a card player and a whoremonger. That’s what I am. YOU are a Rabbi. You can fall in the mud, you can slip on your ass, you can travel in the wrong direction. But even on your ass, even in the mud, even if you go in the wrong direction for a little while, you’re STILL a Rabbi! THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE!
We all want the answer! But Hashem doesn’t owe us the answer, Larry. Hashem doesn’t owe us anything. The obligation runs the other way.
Let me explain something to ya, kid. What I do, runnin’ around stealin’ shit, that may sound great when you’re fourteen years old. But it sucks just a little bit when you’re 35 – no family, no house – I got a partner who’s 50, he’s an alcoholic, he still can’t figure out why they took “Happy Days” off the air. Then on TV every day, I see kids like you on these talk shows. You got everything, opportunities up the ass. You got a family to come home to…and what do you do? You bitch and moan because things don’t go your way. Well, you know what? Welcome to the Real World, where most of the time, things don’t go your fuckin’ way!
If his unpleasant wounding has in some way enlightened the rest of you as to the grim finish beneath the glossy veneer of criminal life and inspired you to change your ways, then his injuries carry with it an inherent nobility, and a supreme glory. We should all be so fortunate.
“Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? ‘If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right.’ It’s…”
“Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage…”
“…your rage will become your master? That’s what you were going to say. Right? Right?”
“Not necessarily.”
Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can’t believe it…
That…is why you fail.
How embarrassing. How embarrassing.
No grace, no poise. Other than that it was wonderful!