It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a sperm whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet.
One hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest?
Attention gonads, we’re going for seconds.
I fucked her with a parsnip last week. And a sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
I’ll give you a whole goddamn fruit salad. There are Frigidaires falling from the sky!
I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can’t see the stove.
That’s the sous chef. The sous is in charge when the chef’s not around.
Ian, can I have a word with you a minute? There’s, uh… a couple of problems with the, uh, arrangements backstage. There’s some problems here. I don’t even know where to start… Look, this. This miniature bread, it’s like… I’ve been working with this now for about half an hour, I can’t figure out… let’s say I wanted a bite, right? You got this… exactly. I don’t understand how… well no, then it’s half the size… Yeah, but then it breaks up. It breaks apart like this… But then if you keep folding it, then it keeps breaking… and then everything has to be folded. And then it’s this. And I don’t want this. I want LARGE BREAD, so that I can put this, so then it’s like this. But this doesn’t work, because then it’s all… Look! would you be holding this? No! Alright, A. Exhibit, exhibit A. And now we move onto this… Look, look; Who’s in here? No one. And in here, there’s a little guy, look! So, it’s a complete catastrophe!
No! He’s ruining the soup!
Food is fuel. You get picky about what you put in the tank, your engine is gonna die. Now shut up and eat your garbage.
Please Sir, I want some more.
You all know the rules, so I don’t need to say them, but I’m gonna, 'cause I wanna!
You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.
I’m not getting my period. Jesus, every time anything out of the ordinary happens, you think that I’m getting my period.
I feel like a defective typewriter… I skipped a period.
There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don’t. My ex-wife loves him.
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but diamonds are a girl’s best friend.
That’s quite a nice little nothing you’re almost wearing.
No, no, no, that one, the sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes! Take her clothes off and bring her to me!
This has been an emotional day for all of us. I think we should get naked.