On the record let me say just this: the story is totally untrue. On background, I’d like to add that Bob Haldeman is one of the greatest public servants this country has ever had, and the story is a goddamned lie.
You can’t handle the truth.
Is it true what they’re sayin’, he’s some kinda vampire?
I am Count Dracula. I would like a large suite with a bath. I have a reservation.
Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He’s a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy.
Are you a doctor of medicine or theology?
Both, actually. Which may be of service?
By all means, medicine first.
I hear Chapel’s an M.D. now. Well I’m gonna need a top nurse, not a doctor who’ll argue every little diagnosis with me. And they probably redesigned the whole sickbay, too! I know engineers, they love to change things.
Good morning, Miss Ratched.
n/m, ninja’d.
I hate pills, very dangerous thing, pills.
You put them in your mouth and swallow!
I don’t know if you know this or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don’t clean it right away.
I’ve decided what to do with my life. I wanna be a cleaner.
That’s deep! You’re SO obviously influenced by McKuen.
There were these two fellars standin’ on a bridge, a-goin’ to the bathroom. One fellar said, “The water’s cold,” and the other fellar said, “The water’s deep.” I believe one fellar come from Arkansas. Get it?
Hey! I’ve been holding up this here bridge for over an hour so it didn’t fall on you.
Madness! Madness!
Emmeline, do you know why your husband had a nervous breakdown? It’s because he has sunk $40,000, including $15,000 of my money into a company that makes seaweed for people to eat.
Governor Santini is brought to you today by Soylent Red, and Soylent Yellow. And new, delicious, Soylent Green: The “miracle food” of high energy plankton, gathered from the oceans of the world. Due to its enormous popularity, Soylent Green is in short supply – so remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green day!
I will be returning to Virginia, where I have been asked to serve as governor.