Speak to me only in Movie Quotes

Help me… help you! Help me… help you!

Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I’m in a transitional period so I don’t wanna kill you.

I wanna help you.

I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.

And we’re just the ones to do it! Eggnog?

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?

I really don’t mind you being an asshole, you really can’t help that, but I do mind you lying to me like I was a fool.

Stupid is as stupid does.

But why me? Why not Fenster, MacManus or Hockney? Why me? I’m stupid. I’m a cripple. Why me?

You wanna know?! OK, I’m gonna tell you! Because you had the talent to be a good fighter, and instead of that, you became a leg-breaker for some cheap, two-bit loan shark!

You ask too many questions.

You’re a very nosy fellow, kitty cat. Huh? You know what happens to nosy fellows? Huh? No? Wanna guess? Huh? No? Okay. They lose their noses.

Well, they say a slice off a cut loaf’s never missed.

Go pinch that loaf, dawg.

Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press.

Still using all the muscles except the one that matters?

Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.” And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.

He was wondering how a man weighing 600 pounds could teach people about self-discipline.

Once you’ve had fat, you never go back!

I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can’t see the stove.

Y’know, I seen me a mermaid once. I even seen me a shark eat an octopus. But I ain’t never seen no phantom Russian submarine.