I could hardly piss straight with fear. Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who’d taken a dislike to me. What had I done to offend him? I don’t consciously offend big men like this. And this one has a decided imbalance of hormone in him. Get any more masculine than him and you’d have to live up a tree.
I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay; I sleep all night and I work all day.
You know, I once read an interesting book which said that most people lost in the wilds, they die of shame.
You haven’t got lost in the woods, have ya? Your last report was more than 2 weeks ago. I’m starting to doubt your resolve! The way I see it, it’s time to terminate the mission.
Go on ahead. I’m just gonna stay here and listen to the wind a while, okay?
I’m sorry I farted into your purse…
I think I sharted.
…I love you, I love you!
In the course of this evening, you have demonstrated most of your excremental bodily functions.
You better pay for that pee-stick when you’re done with it. Don’t think it’s yours just because you marked it with your urine!
How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests?
Meet me in the bedroom in five minutes and bring a cattle prod.
Dr Brewster tried to seduce several nurses in this unit, claiming to be in the throes of an uncontrollable impulse. Do you know what? I’m going to give every nurse on this floor an electric cattle prod and instruct them to just zap them in his badoobies!
You don’t have much choice, Harold. They’re gonna try to make you tell where the money is. You know what kind of people they are. They’re gonna strip you naked and go to work on you with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.
From Charley Varrick, more than two decades before Pulp Fiction.
Everybody likes money. That’s why they call it money!
There’s a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door.
SIXTY MILLION DOLLARS?! Who do you think you kidnapped, Chelsea Clinton?!
Do I understand this correctly? I’m being marked down?
I’ve been kidnapped by K-Mart!
STOP IT! slaps Is THIS the only way to get through to you?! Do what you kids do; BUST like a hot water pipe?!
Well, hell, you’re just a God-damned coward. Shut up! I won’t have a yellow bastard sitting here, crying in front of these brave men who have been wounded in battle!