My mom was a Deb, my grandma too; That’s all them gals know how to do; She’ll catch my butt before she’s through; Sergeant Foley, it’s up to you!
Mother pus-bucket!
This bitch is TOAST!
You sure don’t talk like a machine…
“More human than human” is our motto.
This thing that you do, Ted, where you come into a place and push people out, you should know those people worked really hard to build this magazine. They believed in the motto. And I get it, you’ve got your marching orders and you have to do what you have to do, but you don’t have to be such a dick. Put that on a plaque and hang it at your next job.
Ted and Tami-Lynn continued their torrid love affair for quite some time. One afternoon Ted was caught behind the deli counter eating potato salad off of Tami- Lynn’s bare bottom. He was instantly promoted to store manager.
I got fired for putting my finger in the pickle-slicer. She got fired, too.
We find it’s always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there’s less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.
I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this; but I’m gonna get you high today. 'Cause it’s Friday, you ain’t got no job, and you ain’t got shit to do.
I just wish your friends were as mature as you.
This is my age. I’m in the prime of my youth, and I’ll only be young once!
Would you still love ME if I were young and had acne? When I’m afraid of what’s under the stairs? Or if I end up wetting the bed?
What, am I supposed to apologize for having high standards?
That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
Your stepmom’s cute. Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
I hate her guts. You know, somebody ought to kill her.
Dude. It’s your Mom!
Dude that chick’s a MILF!
And I’m not mentally ill, but proud, and lucky, and strong enough to be the woman that was the best part of my manhood. The best part of myself.